[Closed] STW NHS - diagnose me

Swine flu.

hypochondria

'flu.

I mean [b]BIRD FLU RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!1[/b]

Hope you feel better soon!

Just take a couple of paracetamol 4 times a day. If there's no improvement after 3 or 4 days, come and ask me again.

Teh bad AIDS, clearly.

Flu - go to bed for the rest of the week and come back next week if you don't feel better

Added to this, I've not dropped the kids at the pool for 4 days now.

Concerning, have you tried a manual evacuation?

Or the Vorderman technique?

I've gone > 1 week without visiting the pool before, its not overly problematic! But bear in mind that if you're taking anything with codeine in it for the pain you'll be making this worse.

its not overly problematic

I believe that's it depends on the individual and their metabolism. For some people going twice a week is quite normal, and for others, twice a day is normal.

And some people, are just always full of shit.

sounds like 'beriberi' or 'ebola' - I wouldn't go out if I was you, no not a good idea at all

sounds like you need a curry to get things moving

if youve got flu like symptoms, taking your kids swimming, where they are likely to pass you flu onto other children, in a permentantly warm damp environment, isnt very responsible really.

[b]euphemism[/b] [i]noun[/i] a mild or inoffensive term used in place of one considered offensive or unpleasantly direct.

Olly - Member
if youve got flu like symptoms, taking your kids swimming, where they are likely to pass you flu onto other children, in a permentantly warm damp environment, isnt very responsible really.

erm, are you serious? 'cos if so you've just made me a feel about a million times better through laughing!

[i]Added to this, I've not dropped the kids at the pool for 4 days now.[/i]

Jeezus! If I don't visit 'the pool' at least twice a day I'm worried. This is the root cause to all your misery, you're backing up big time. No wonder your eyes hurt. It's trying to escape from all other orifices.

Picolax. You'll be fine tomorrow.

No wonder your eyes hurt.

LOL 😆

Even typing about it triggers me! One's just checked into the departure lounge..

[wanders off with the telegraph tucked under arm]

I love when people miss obvious humour on here.

It never ceases to amaze me jojo.

but do you still want to ride your bike....?
if not then youre really in a bad way...
think cycling spose to be good for constipation...
try it and let us know.

cancer. of the season ticket.

Done any charity work lately? If so, it might be gift aids 🙂

you forget about the residual chlorine in the pool water Olly.

i did get it, i was being silly. 🙄
glad it made you feel better, if temporarily.

GrahamS - Member
Added to this, I've not dropped the kids at the pool for 4 days now.
Concerning, have you tried a manual evacuation?

[b]Or the Vorderman technique?[/b]

Work it out with a pencil?

I love when people miss obvious humour on here.

I love it when the normally humorous people miss the tongue-in-cheek replies and feel they have to post about it 😆

And then I'm smug as I didnt reply until I saw the original intention in a post later on and so post up to be smug about my fake smartness.

regardless, I still haven't taken a dump

😕

Get a laxative and quit whining 😀

Have you been eating much though?

Generally I've not felt very hungry in the past when I've had flu.

I love it when I'm utterly bamboozled by people's posts, but then it's not difficult. 😆

Work it out with a pencil?

10 points to thegreatape 😀

Many moons ago on holiday trekking in Nepal, I got bunged up and didn't drop anything in the pool for 10 days - did get real bad stomach cramps towards the end though....

so 4 days seems fine to me...

Can I have your telly when you pop your clogs/buy the farm/kick the bucket?

Hope your feeling better soon mate, I have'nt laffed so much because of your illness (not at your illness). 😯