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Or films where there's an outbreak of some disease and a random doctor who finds someone with immunity. With a bit of centrifuging and a big computer thing they manage to sequence the DNA, magically identify which piece of DNA confers the immunity and create a vaccine and deploy it to the whole world within about an hour.
Think that was last annoying me on x-files.
In films where they make a bank transfer and there is a progress bar showing the money being sent £ by £ to the recipient's account....
People on forums that don't read what others have said before posting a contribution.
whenever someone steps up to a previously working microphone and there's a SCREEEEEEECHHHHH of feedback #shakesheadandtuts
Contributions on forums by people who have only read the title.
Contributions on forums by people who haven't read the title.
Entitlement by people who have no contribution.
OMG that is glorious!!!!!
And when someone transfers vast amounts of money to another account it shows a progress bar as the ill-gotten gains are moved, apparently one dollar at a time.Films or programs where they do a computer search and the computer displays all the possible search candidates as its checking through them
Whenever I log into my computer now I always announce over my shoulder "I'm in!"
And when someone transfers vast amounts of money to another account it shows a progress bar as the ill-gotten gains are moved, apparently one dollar at a time.
Chuckle
DrP
Oy I got there first.
In films where they make a bank transfer and there is a progress bar showing the money being sent £ by £ to the recipient's account....
Or is this a wind up?
Right, so a serious one now.
Access to Waverly Station, Edinburgh. IT.IS.PISH. and it was really expensive too. A classic case of an attempt to sort out the access problems by spending huge sums of money and then making it worse.
People in my office who work longer than everyone else to try and show how "good" they are at their job, except it does the complete opposite.
No ones mentioned Women yet.... 🙄
My mistake. Just upholding the great STW tradition of not bothering to read any previous posts.Oy I got there first.
When actors drive cars in action films, and they weave the steering wheel to show they're driving hard (little lefts and rights)
They're driving in a straight line, not a slalom!
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
People carrying obviously empty suitcases in films and on TV when they are travelling or going off on holiday etc.
Characters in films getting a REALLY SEVERE HAMMERING and then getting up with just a couple of scratches.
Mr Woppit - MemberCharacters in films getting a REALLY SEVERE HAMMERING and then getting up with just a couple of scratches.
Aside; I really like it when it goes the other way. Like, say, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang where Robert Downie Jr spends the entire film getting panelled, and by the end is pretty much ruined. A leading man who fights like a normal person.
Or, weirdly, the first Fast and Furious- by film 17 or whatever it is now, Vin Diesel is some sort of superhero, impervious to all harm (if I got punched by the Rock, I'd disintegrate) but in the first film, stuff actually has consequences- people get hit once and fall down, they get shot once and die in a really unheroic way, fights are undignified and messy, the daft truck boarding scene turns out to actually be risky... And right at the end Vin Diesel crashes his car and gets out [i]completely ****ed.[/i] it's like some sort of documentary.
Except the driving obviously- in the biggest ongoing film irony ever, all the driving is shite.
Had a Skoda that made a plip noise when it was locked or unlocked!
No ones mentioned Women yet....
Alright then, my wife.
She watched me walk into the partially open tailgate of the car, nearly knocking myself out. "Oh mind your head" she says, why the F didn't she say that before I walked into it.................
Dinosaur films and TV programs where the T-rex roars like a lion on steroids.
Films or TV programs where someone drives off in a car which has supposidly been going for ages but there is water vapour coming out of the exhaust.
Top Gear any time they are doing something "spontaneously" whacky but you can see the tyre tracks where they have obviously required several takes to get the stunt right.
Hackers in films who manage to hack into things ridiculously quickly.
OMG that is glorious!!!!!
Yes, yes it is!
Also stupid - most depictions of video games in TV shows, whether it's an appalling fake MMORPG or FPS that looks like it's been dragged from kicking from the mid-90s being paraded as cutting edge, ANYTHING to do with Second Life, or somebody playing on a modern console yet the sound effects are like Space Invaders bleeps.
In one of the recent Bond films the good guys use all sorts of clever computing power to track the baddies through the Tube network but not once did any of them think to turn the power off to stop the train itself.
Hollywood blockbuster films that have lasers that go pew-pew, are green, and cause huge fires , in the endless vacuum of space, and the mighty roar of the explosion carries through the huge vacuum of space, where punctuation and sentances get longer and longer
and stretched tyres
In space, no-one can hear a pedant scream.
That Hollywood is barely 100yrs old and they seem to have run out of ideas. (I'm looking at you, billionth remake of spiderman).
people get hit once and fall down, they get shot once and die in a really unheroic way,
I'm always struck at how quickly and quietly non-leading actors die when you shoot them - as if its possible to shoot someone in the 'off' switch
We watched Fast & Furious 6 (I think) the other night, (the London one) and I was amazed at the length of the runway in the last scene!
Also, I fell off a ladder from a few feet once and winded myself. Falling 40 ft from a speeding truck will put you in ICU!
Road signs and road furniture. Acres and acres of garish metal signage stating and restating the sodding obvious or irrelevant. Caveat Auriga! Should be the mantra. That and hidden bear pits in the road.
And not forgetting "Cyclists Dismount"
No.
**** off.
"Cyclists Dismount"
No.
**** off.
That's got to be worth a T-shirt.
slowoldman +1
And not forgetting "Cyclists Dismount"
If it's the riverside footpath in York when I'm coming back after having a retina scan at the hospital so have limited vision and the [rude word removed] cyclist can't be arsed dismounting on the short section of shared footpath - ride if you want but you'll end up in the river 🙂
Two similar film things:
The one where any cop in any city instantly knows where some little cafe is.
Or the 2 second telephone call, and the person receiving the information has to remember a zillion things instantly, and does. Any normal person would listen, and go "what?"
The one where any cop in any city instantly knows where some little cafe is.
No, sorry, cops are like cyclists - they really do know where every café is!
The idiot planners who approved the building of another 1000 or so houses around my home town, when it's already overcrowded and the roads are at full capacity.
The one where any cop in any city instantly knows where some little cafe is.
If they're the shape of the polis round my town, they'll have been to a café/kebab shop or 2.
'Boost 148' WHHHHYYYYY!!
What's wrong with just using 150mm...does 1mm each side really make a difference????
because 150mm hubs weren't really 150mm wide they were 135 with a bunch of spacers, and a bit pointless.
Prometheus, from start to finish.
Standards +3.
My neighbours' inability to park any of their three cars on their own driveway.
spekkie - MemberWe watched Fast & Furious 6 (I think) the other night, (the London one) and I was amazed at the length of the runway in the last scene!
19.36 miles long, apparently. (Based on speed information provided by leading aeronautics expert The Rock.)
I love me a bit of fast and furious tbh, they're definitely teh most awful films I like though.
"Cyclists Dismount"
Invariably right before a very narrow or restricted width bit, which you [i]could [/i]pass someone on if you were on your bike, but when wheeling it beside you becomes almost impossible without jabbing someone in the shins/kidney with a pedal/handlebar
The bleeping and flashing lights on computers come from the days of ENIAC where the output was displayed on rows of coloured lights representing numbers in binary. It was only 70 years ago.. and yet we still do it.
However, there is a bit of a reason behind some of those daft search sequences on computers. They generally sell the rights to have products in movies - always used to be Apple but I think they stopped doing that now. However if no-one's bought the rights (or they haven't been sold) then they have to use something neutral, rather than Google which is what you would use. Because otherwise they'd never be able to sell that right to Google in the future.
Same with cars - they can't completely hide the car's body of course, but if no-one's paid them they go to a certain amount of effort to avoid shots of the badges. Whereas if they have been paid, you see lots of them.
I think it's NCIS where their coffee shop has a white cup with a round green logo on it to look vaguely authentic, but it's not actually Starbucks.
People carrying obviously empty suitcases in films and on TV when they are travelling or going off on holiday etc.
Ditto coffee cups. Some gets handed a coffee and they immediately swig it like it's half empty. If you did that you'd a) get a faceful and b) go "hell fire that's boiling!!"
Or the 2 second telephone call
Ever noticed, no-one ever says "goodbye" on telephones in films / TV? "Yes Mr President, we're aware of the missiles." *click* - You've just hung up on the bloody President! Argh.
Ever noticed, no-one ever
.....catches their sleeve on door handles on film/TV?
(From Men Behaving Badly, I think?)