Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

And on the sticky theme; labels that don't peel cleanly off book covers and similar

Also film tops to packets of cooked meats that you a) can't find a tab to pull and b) are ridiculously well-adhered/tear into shreds

Dear Ossify

Thanks for getting in touch.
As per our telephonic discussion...

It might be correct English but you can still FRO

Illustrations of barbers with their arms crossed wielding sharp cutting tools staring down at you angrily. WTF is that meant to make me want to get my hair cut at your establishment?

Posted by: Cougar

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My partner just tripped over my shoes.

Apparently, "well I'd have put them on the shoe rack if I didn't have to navigate an assault course to get to the ****ing thing" was an incorrect response.

I restrained myself from pointing out that I wouldn't have been able to put them there anyway because the shoe rack already holds 18 pairs of her shoes, 16 of which she never wears.  I have daily Salomon approach shoes, Birkenstock sandals, and Supermarket Special slippers.  Yet my shoes are the problem when I'm dating a ****ing centipede.

Very much this. What's worse is that she leaves shoes on the floor as well because of all the ones she doesn't wear regularly! I guess there is no space in her wardrobe and under the bed as those are filled with shoes too. 

I've said it before but Trains, pretty much everything about trains. Specifically, ScotRail trains.

• Cancellations without notice, without apology and without alternative transport being provided
• ScotRail app that sells me an off-peak ticket for a journey at specific time, only for conductor to tell me its not valid as that same train is actually a peak time train, apparently it is my responsibility to know that and override the app that wants to sell me a off peak ticket.
• ScotRail app that sells kids tickets at £7 only for conductor to tell me that if I bought kids tickets from him, they would have travelled for £1 each
• Black magic ticketing where, if you are in the know, you can buy a ticket for a longer journey for less money than your intended journey (Tweedbank / Waverley / South Gyle, I’m looking at you)
• Performance measures that list a train as arriving on time if it is within 5 mins of its scheduled time. Arriving 4mins 59secs isn’t on time, its late.
• ScotRail thinking it is okay to boot passengers off a train, late in the day, at the wrong station and telling them to sort their own way home

Airports in general, the queues, checking your passport/boarding pass 4 different times and the people in airports that seem surprised that they have to take stuff out of their bags at security checks or can't carry items in their hand luggage where the rules haven't changed in the last 20 years. Then there's the idiots blocking the aisle of the plane as they get everything out of their bag before putting it in the overhead lockers. Put a conveyor belt in and if they don't immediately sit in their seat they just move past it and get dumped out the back of the plane. Double the price of my ticket if I can not have to deal with idiots and go from the front doors of the airport to sitting on the plane in 10mins.

Posted by: Cougar

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Anyway. DC for today: when my partner's daughter visits, if she uses the toilet she turns the toilet roll round the wrong way.

There is only one, correct way, which the modern holder patent shows; as explained in this diagram…

Posted by: timmys

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I'm cross that the term "****panzer", which was formerly for SUVs, has been pre-purposed specifically for Tesla Cyber Trucks.

Seems fine to me. Compared to the Cyber ShitTruck, all SUV’s are perfectly reasonable forms of transportation.

Ah, yes, I knew there was something bugging me - emails clogging up my inbox that tell me someone has just posted a new topic on Singletrack World Magazine. 
I really don’t need to know this, but I have no idea what I might have done to cause it to happen, or what the hell I have to do to stop it happening in future! 
Please, stop it! 😖

I'm lucky I live a very easy, and this time of the year lovely, ride to work.

Every so often I have to go to a meeting 20miles away. A bus route with bike buses pass close to both my home and this second work place making it a no brainer to bus there bike back, in fact I can cross country the return journey for extra happiness.

Except it's a gamble as to whether a bike bus or a normal non bike bus will turn up. Last attempt "sorry mate can't take the bike" "dunno if the next bus will be a bike bus" 

I drove, I was grumpy, I wrote a strongly worded email.

I have two huge insect bites, one on the ankle and one in the crease of my right knee. Gonna be an itchy 100km ride today.

Busses. 

Apologies to anyone who drives a bus.

There are hundreds of potholes in the roads , but you drive the same road multiple times a day and yet you see it as sport , funny, protocol , punishment for the bus wunkerz to hit every single pothole every journey. 

This then makes the bus shake and shudder as you repeatedly try to destroy the tyres , suspension, steering , and passenger hearing.

And why can't anyone build a bus that's quiet? I would love to know what dB is the noise levels on some of the busses locally. It is loud enough to give me a headache and kick off my tinnitus. The doors , windows, handles , grab bars and seats all seem to be metal bolted on to metal with zero sound deadening and thought put in to encourage people on to public transport and not some sort of purgatory punishment that makes me rather cross 

Btw I had to use a bus for 5 days whilst I swapped the gearbox on the bimmer.  Its 20mins of pure hell.

Companies inappropriately removing plastic. Examples:

• getting rid of the plastic lid on coleslaw and cream containers. They're not often used in one go, so now I need to cover them in cling film.
• changing pocket tissue packets from plastic to paper. A pack of tissues could survive months before, now they rarely last a day

On that note: paper straws.  You know, straws made from that material famously known for its water-resistant properties.

I get it, I do, but surely there has to be a better solution?  If I was disabled in a manner which required me to use a straw, I'd carry my own.  We have some metal ones here which are far better than both paper and plastic. 

Or, y'know, drink out a glass like a civilised grown-up.  If we can put coffee in sippy-cups for takeaway food, we can do the same with cola.

British Gas.

Actually, I don't think that's disproportional.  Cunch of bunts.  They've swallowed over a grand of credit and are advising "you've used more gas than usual" despite my dead mother's house being unoccupied for 18 months, and their support advisor's attitude was broadly "what do you expect me to do about it?"

I've worked in support, there's little point getting cross with someone who in all fairness is likely powerless to help. But, well then, escalate the call to someone who can?

People who put ‘du jour’ in thread titles! Make me do a little sick! 😀

Stupid rich celebrities cosplaying at being astronauts on the worlds most expensive fairground ride.

Stupid rich celebrities cosplaying at being astronauts on the worlds most expensive fairground ride.

And then just havering absolute mince when interviewed, then that nonsense being broadcast as is it were deep and meaningful.

Humans that rip off a piece of masking tape with their teeth. 

See also duct tape. 

Both exceptionally easy to rip to length with your hands. No teeth interaction required.

Being told I can’t use the site Canteen because I have a nut allergy.

I’m not going to explode if someone eats a wallnut whip FFS.

Then being left sat outside, (granted in glorious sunshine) for 3 hours whilst someone does or doesn’t think it’s ok to let me on site at all.

Posted by: Cougar

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British Gas.

Actually, I don't think that's disproportional.  Cunch of bunts.  They've swallowed over a grand of credit and are advising "you've used more gas than usual" despite my dead mother's house being unoccupied for 18 months, and their support advisor's attitude was broadly "what do you expect me to do about it?"

I've worked in support, there's little point getting cross with someone who in all fairness is likely powerless to help. But, well then, escalate the call to someone who can?

their support advisor's attitude was broadly "what do you expect me to do about it?"

I'd politley suggest to them that you don't care what they do about it, if they think you owe them then maybe they can engage a brain or see you in court. do you have meter readings?

I got a nasty debt collection letter from a DCA on behalf of OVO energy for my late nans estate.., that had been paid several months prior direct to OVO...

I'm still awaiting my court summons to sue me for the debt of £0.00. I really hope they do, it will be such a funny day out!

Posted by: Kayak23

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Both exceptionally easy to rip to length with your hands.

Masking tape yes.  If you can rip duct tape with your bare hands it's shit tape.  I can barely get through mine with kitchen scissors.

Posted by: Cougar

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Posted by: Kayak23

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Both exceptionally easy to rip to length with your hands.

Masking tape yes.  If you can rip duct tape with your bare hands it's shit tape.  I can barely get through mine with kitchen scissors.

You must be doing it wrong or have some kind of unusual tape. The transverse threads across it mean you can rip it easily along a thread line getting a nice square end. 

Can even do that with 75mm Gorilla tape which is extra thick.

The duct tape I use is very good, but you can easily tear a length off it by hand which is also very handy!

It's kind of fiberous, but the fibers are in such a direction you can rip it by hand, but once it's stuck, it's STUCK!

I've got a few different ones, one is gorilla branded, and the other one is a '3M' of some sort, but it's basically all the same stuff.

I don't know what else to say.  It's Duck brand tape only silver rather than black and it's not tearable by hand.

Well, holy hell.  If you do it explosively like in that video, it works.  Every day is a school day.

If it's shiney 'silver', it might be aluminum tape, you will need scissors or something to cut that, as it's basically like brown parcel tape but made with aluminium to make it light reflective/heat resistent.

The movement operated lights on a 1 minute timer in the Server room I was In today for a couple of hours.

Bloody annoying. Waving at it wouldn’t trip the sensor and it was blind to parts of the room. Typically Head torch is at home.

Big Brother. How the **** is that back on TV?

Katy Perry

Posted by: Steve

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Big Brother. How the **** is that back on TV?

Because people watch it?  I criticise my partner for watching vacuous shit like lottery winners buying property, then when she goes to bed I watch YouTube videos of tribal villagers experiencing fish & chips for the first time. 🤷‍♂️

I suppose it's relatively cheap to produce also.  You need a house, a load of cameras, Geordie Voiceover Man and a dozen hateful arseholes.  Fin.  Weeks of daily TV.

The E10 light fitting in my kitchen that doesn't leave enough space to get a good grip on the bulb. And Katy Perry.

People losing their minds on Jeff's space-penis landing itself and Elon's big chopsticks as if this is new and somehow remarkable when the McDonell Douglas DC-X rocket was landing vertically in the 90's, and the Ryan Verti-jet X-13 was being flown by actual human pilots into capture towers in the 50's. 

Posted by: harry_the_spider

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The E10 light fitting in my kitchen that doesn't leave enough space to get a good grip on the bulb. And Katy Perry.

I'm not that fussed about getting a good grip on Katy Perry, to be honest.

People using the self-service checkouts who don't pack their stuff as they go. 

Beep, place item on tray. Beep, place item on tray. Repeat until all the contents of the shopping basket is now scanned and on the tray. Pay.
Then, and only then, do they actually start packing it. 

Put it in the ****ing bag as you scan it you moron!

Posted by: crazy-legs

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People using the self-service checkouts who don't pack their stuff as they go. 

Beep, place item on tray. Beep, place item on tray. Repeat until all the contents of the shopping basket is now scanned and on the tray. Pay.
Then, and only then, do they actually start packing it. 

Put it in the ****ing bag as you scan it you moron!

I'm guilty of that but I blame being conditioned by the good old "unexpected item in the bagging area" whenever I tried putting my bag on there.

People using the self-service checkouts who don't pack their stuff as they go. 

Beep, place item on tray. Beep, place item on tray. Repeat until all the contents of the shopping basket is now scanned and on the tray. Pay.
Then, and only then, do they actually start packing it. 

Put it in the ****ing bag as you scan it you moron!

Also guilty.  It's a case of would you rather

a) I wait for the staff to come over and confirm that i've weighed my bag at the start (could be a while)

b) Transfer it to my bag afterwards?

Posted by: Steve

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I'm not that fussed about getting a good grip on Katy Perry, to be honest.

 

Oh, I don't know...

Posted by: verses

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I'm guilty of that but I blame being conditioned by the good old "unexpected item in the bagging area" whenever I tried putting my bag on there.

I don't understand this.  Literally the first question you're asked is "have you brought your own bag?"'

In any case, is waiting for a staff member to reset the scales still not faster than bagging up your annual shop after you've paid?

I bet you do it at 3:59pm on a Sunday as well, you monster.

don't understand this.  Literally the first question you're asked is "have you brought your own bag?"'

The self service checkouts near me won’t accept anything heavier than a carrier bag. Rucksack illuminates the red light of forever wait, as do some heavier carrier bags.

the view count on this forum.

Re buses

Where are you singletrackmind?

Lothian buses are modern, comfortable and quiet.  Some even hybrids

Posted by: jamesoz

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The movement operated lights on a 1 minute timer in the Server room I was In today for a couple of hours.

Bloody annoying. Waving at it wouldn’t trip the sensor and it was blind to parts of the room. Typically Head torch is at home.

Not as bad as when they're in toilets and you take too long in a cubicle. Then have to finish up before someone comes in and discovers there's some weirdo taking a dump in the dark!

Or classrooms. Having a class do a test in midwinter involves walking round the room to keep the lights on.

People who drop passengers off at the entrance to the (barrierless) station car park, involving multiple bag pick ups and farewell kisses.

There's no barrier. Drive 10 yards further so you are not blocking the entrance you blinkered bellend. You are going to drive round the car park anyway to get out!.

Posted by: jamesoz

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The self service checkouts near me won’t accept anything heavier than a carrier bag. Rucksack illuminates the red light of forever wait, as do some heavier carrier bags.

In the interests of science, I tested this theory yesterday.  You're right, a rucksack triggered the red light of death.

Some are better than others. Our co-op is rubbish. I can't put more than 5 items in a reusable bag without needing the assistant. It is much faster to build a Jenga tower of food then pack it. Lidl seems way more forgiving. I can even get the rucksack to work. 

been said before, but middle lane hoggers on the motorway. Drove from Swansea to Worthing on Sunday, the number of people just sitting in the middle lane.... mind blowing. 

And equally those who jab the brakes on for no reason. What are you doing? dinlows. 😤 😤 

The self checkouts here are also annoying AF. Quite often they'll flag me as a terrorist or whatever after I've finished, and I cannot be arsed, so I just pick up my bag and scan everything at the next free one. My best score was bricking all six before I went to the human checkout instead.

Posted by: v7fmp

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those who jab the brakes on for no reason

I've gort a newish car with adaptive cruise control (I know!  You can lock it without using a key, too).  I do wonder if it puts on the brake lights every time it slows itself marginally rather than a human just lifting off and letting it slow naturally

The way that Rachel Riley reaches for a letter on Countdown before the contestant has asked for it.

Posted by: scaredypants

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I do wonder if it puts on the brake lights every time it slows itself marginally rather than a human just lifting off and letting it slow naturally

Probably not if it isn't an EV. If it applies the brakes then obviously the lights will come on.