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[Closed] Smoking Childcare - is it wrong?

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[#2066407]

My 20 month old daughter goes to her Grandma (my mum in law) once a week for the day whilst we're at work. Now her Grandma smokes hamlet minatures (I know).

She'll never smoke them inside when my daughter is there, but she does occasionally take her outside to play so she can have a fag, Also sometimes she's blatantly just had a fag in the kitchen when we arrive in the morning.

Now I am an avid hater of smokers and get really angry, but I am yet to vent this on the mum-in-law.

Should I be worried? And should I say something? I don't want to seem ungrateful for the childcare and she is really good with my daughter - it's just the smoking (occasional as it may be) disgusts me.

Anybody else had this?


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 9:56 pm
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Pay a professional


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 9:59 pm
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Is sh putting your daughter at any significant risk? She is not sitting in a room with her smoking like a chimney is she?

I suggest you chill out or you will need some other childcare. Sounds like the MIL is actually making a real effort not to smoke in front of the kid.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 9:59 pm
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Have a chat with her. The worst that can happen is you are divorced, disowned and killed. Not too bad!


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 9:59 pm
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Give over!

When I was a kid everyone smoked. Everyone. My mum and dad, the milkman, the bloke in the shop, the bus driver, the passengers, the lollipop man, the teachers at school.

I work with nurses who remember having to put out their cigarettes before attending to patients ...on the coronary care ward.....

Grannie has a fag. Get over yourself..


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:03 pm
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Hamlet miniatures you say? ๐Ÿ˜†

I'd report her for smoking shit cigars myself. If she's going to pass on secondary cancer which you obviously believe, then she might as well do it with a decent Cuban jobbie. ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:05 pm
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and we had leaded paint and proper leaded petrol, and fireworks, and we put asbestos on bonfires.

You need to chill out a bit fella, life's an adventure...as long as you're allowed out...


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:08 pm
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I tend to agree with the above however my wife didn't like my mum doing something similar so I asked her nicely (she does only babysit one morning a week though). She seemed to understand why I asked her to stop.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:11 pm
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Although im an ex-smoker, when my son was born 4 years ago, I stopped smoking in the house, always went outside for a fag and he's never seen me smoking.
I dont want him to breathe my smoke and I dont want him to see me smoking and think its acceptable later in life.
It really annoys me when i see these young mums swanning about fag in hand whilst pushing the baby in the pram. Clearly they dont GAS


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:14 pm
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i like all the "in my day" posters who are fooling themselves they arent "in my day" posters.

Its not that it may smell its teh fact your child will very quickly get used to the smell of cigarettes and may even become accustomed to nicotine. Ive never touched a fag in my life and never will but i can happily stand near smokers (as long as its not cigars) because ive always socialised with older people and generally they smoke.

I know people whoes family smoke and guess what? They smoke. They do drugs. They drink excessively and their life is going nowhere. People i know whoes families dont smoke are, in my experience, far more successful.

If it was my child i wouldnt let a smoker near them. Buy her some nicotine gum....


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:14 pm
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Maybe I need a beer - my wife says I need to chill out too.

Shame the fridge is empty.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:15 pm
 bruk
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I'm sure our Health visitor stated that due to smoke etc clinging to clothes and hair etc they reccomended leaving 45 minutes between having a fag and handling a baby!!!

Tricky one. I asked my mum to only smoke outside and give it 10 minutes before she picks my son up when she visits. You can always smell the smoke on smokers breath right after they have had 1.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:16 pm
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she seems to be doing her best only you can decide if this is enough. I would tut and let it go personally. Your wife MUST raise the issue with her mum not you. What does she think? Probably matters a bit more than internet forum users.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:17 pm
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The health aspect isn't the issue.

It is that someone the child loves and admires smokes and learns from that. It is important the sprog doesn't see Gran smoke. Beyond that - not a biggie.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:18 pm
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interesting point Stoatsbrother.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:24 pm
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The research says its bad to smoke and then go near kids as its carried on the clothes and breath.

Personally my son won't go near anyone who smokes because its a disgusting habit.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:25 pm
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im the same i dont want my little one to see my misses smoke to the point she has now packed up and only smokes when out drinking(i dont get it but meh) but as said it seems she is trying but tbf u can only go so far when there putting herself out for u

its a grey area really only you no whats best for your baby.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:26 pm
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cheers guys


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:27 pm
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Some interesting factoids:

Smoking around a baby is known to significantly increase the risk of cot death and is thought to be the main risk factor.

A smoker continues to breathe out carbon monoxide and other byproducts for two hours after a single cigarette.

A single cigar in an unventilated room produces the same toxins as around 40 cigarettes.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:29 pm
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also increases your childs chance of asthma as well as making it more likely for your shild to smoke. I'd either lay down the law or pay a nursery/childminder


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:32 pm
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FFS - she is not smoking in front of the kid. It would be different if she was.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:35 pm
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wrong tandem, smoke on clothes etc also affects the child


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:37 pm
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she might as well do it with a decent Cuban jobbie

Wouldn't that fall apart in your hands and be really hard to light? It'd probably smell a lot worse too.

should I say something?

No, your wife should.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:37 pm
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It is that someone the child loves and admires smokes and learns from that. It is important the sprog doesn't see Gran smoke.

see your point but I would be more worried about her seeing gran die from lung cancer. Perhaps that will guarantee she never smokes? Not sure one family member smoking will make her a smoker. None of my family smoked and I did when younger.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:41 pm
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TJ and his ideas, what a shocker!


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:45 pm
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Wouldn't that fall apart in your hands and be really hard to light? It'd probably smell a lot worse too.

๐Ÿ˜†

No, that would be a Scawtish jobbie


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:49 pm
 Bez
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[i]The health aspect isn't the issue.[/i]

Presumably, though, that's only true if you've decided to ignore a large quantity of medical evidence?


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:49 pm
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So let me get this right - your MIL is good enough to look after [b]your[/b] child while you go to work and in your opinion has the blatant audacity to have a fag before you arrive in [b]her house[/b] so as not to smoke in front of your child and you are complaining! I'm amazed that your missus (oddly not mentioned in any of this) managed to survive being brought up by such an uncaring Mother and isn't a nicotine ridden wreck.

As you hate and find smokers so disgusting, you have no option but to find, and presumably pay, for someone else to look after your daughter.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:53 pm
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#
doctornickriviera - Member

wrong tandem, smoke on clothes etc also affects the child

How significant in reality? Clearly smoking in front a a child so its passive smoking is not good but really how significant is this?


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 10:55 pm
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How significant in reality?

Daily Mail (I know but it's late and I can't be arsed googling pubmed etc):

"Up to 90 per cent of the nicotine from cigarette smoke can stick to walls, clothes, hair and skin, Georg Matt, a professor at San Diego State University, found.

His early research suggests the chemicals from this 'third hand smoke' can be swallowed, inhaled or absorbed through the skin of non-smokers, putting babies at particular risk.
The youngsters absorbed the harmful chemicals simply from touching furniture in a smoker's house, or hugging their mothers after they had a cigarette."

-- http://www.****/health/article-399589/Even-smoking-outside-harm-baby.html


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 11:02 pm
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As most of the others have said if you don't like it then pay for some childcare yourself.

The funny thing is though that most childcare is provided by young ladies who actually smoke quite a lot. They will not smoke in front of your children, but after their breaks they will come back in to the nursery or whatever place you leave your child reeking of fags, which is bad news according to some.

As for Granny smoking encouraging the little one to smoke. Well, unless you come from a really deprived area where smoking is the norm then I can't see this happening. There is so much anti-smoking rhetoric taught to children nowadays I can't see it happening.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 11:05 pm
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Graham - but how significant? I am sure it is possible to detect but is it really going to make any difference?

Nothing in that article says how high the levels were and what increase in risk this is.

compare it to the risks of artificial fragrance in air fresheners - known to be toxic. Or Carbon monoxide from car exhausts?


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 11:09 pm
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I'd buy my mum fags if she would childmind to save me the 620 a month I currently pay


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 11:12 pm
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I agree with the fact that second hand smoke is bad and as an ex-smoker I apologise to those who have had to breathe in my smoke ๐Ÿ˜ณ

However, the nicotine on the walls and skin makes me wonder about what these babies are doing in these smokers' homes? I know that when babies reach a certain age they stick things in their mouths, but they do not go around the place licking the paint and people's skin! Plus, nicotine isn't the baddie when it comes to health problems although it certainly does not help with the addictive properties of smoking.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 11:20 pm
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LETS BAN EVERYTHING!!!!!! NOW!!!!!

There we go. sorted! Yawn


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 11:41 pm
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Can't stand the stink of smoke myself - it killed both my parents painfully.

Take a look at your wife. Is she ok? Your mil raised her, and no doubt will do an equally good job of looking after her grandchild.

Settle down. ๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 11:46 pm
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Give over!

That's what my mum would say! ๐Ÿ˜€ (Before giving me a clip round the ear)

In my vernacular, it would be 'be'ave yerself!'

Some interesting factoids:

A smoker continues to breathe out carbon monoxide and other byproducts for two hours after a single cigarette.

A single cigar in an unventilated room produces the same toxins as around 40 cigarettes.

Some other interesting factoids:

You car is killing the planet.

Your bike is made using sweated labour, at least to extract the raw materials.

The environmental effect of that material extraction is killing the planet.

Etc. I think you get the picture.

Fair comments, speshly the bit about cot death and that. People shouldn't smoke around babies and young children. Which apparently isn't the case here anyway.

If you're that concerned, don't let your child stay with her nan, thus depriving them both of that relationship.

Or get yer kid one of these:

[img] [/img]

And paint over the visor so they can't see nanny being evil.


 
Posted : 07/10/2010 11:49 pm
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The funny thing is though that most childcare is provided by young ladies who actually smoke quite a lot. They will not smoke in front of your children, but after their breaks they will come back in to the nursery or whatever place you leave your child reeking of fags,

Is this a fact? Or something you have just assumed out of thin (nicotine filled) air?


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 9:25 am
 hora
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Grandmother is probably thinking 'it was normal doing this round the daughter (your SO) when she was growing up' and 'I'm doing them a favour anyway'.

Plus when you are not there. Are you sure she doesnt light up with your own daughter in the house? no one would know and after all its her house etc.

Then theres the fact that your impressionable daughter is growing up/seeing 'Nan lighting up.

Drop her off at a Nursery. They don't passive smoke around children there.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 9:29 am
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my mother told my gran (dads mother) that if she didn't stop smoking she would never see me again (first grandchild) she stopped then and there and now says it was the best thing that ever happened. this all happened wehen i was about 3 weeks old (one week out of hospital)

try it ๐Ÿ˜ˆ


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 9:45 am
 hora
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My sister in law used to fetch her Dads Cigs and light them in his mouth for him.
Fast forward 20yrs. He now lays in a bed all day every day.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 9:49 am
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mastiles_fanylion - Member

The funny thing is though that most childcare is provided by young ladies who actually smoke quite a lot. They will not smoke in front of your children, but after their breaks they will come back in to the nursery or whatever place you leave your child reeking of fags,

Is this a fact? Or something you have just assumed out of thin (nicotine filled) air?

Just something I have seen a few times and linking it in with what was said higher up the thread about the toxins lingering on people's skin and clothes, which a child can then breathe in.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 9:55 am
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My sister in law used to fetch her Dads Cigs and light them in his mouth for him.
Fast forward 20yrs. He now lays in a bed all day every day.

So your sis-in-law's Father was a lazy bugger 20 years ago and still is by the sounds of it - or is there a relevant point to your riveting family anecdote?


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 10:03 am
 hora
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Thank you for saying its riveting. I was thinking of serialising and making into a play for you 8)


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 10:05 am
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Feel free but only if it includes your sis-in-law and bed scenes not involving parents ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 10:10 am
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