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I got sacked from my job on a building site yesterday.
The foreman said "I'm fed up with listening to that wheelbarrow you're pushing going squeak...squeak...squeak...squeak...squeak...squeak..."
I said "It's not my fault the wheelbarrow goes squeak...squeak...squeak...squeak...squeak...squeak..."
He said "Yes it is, it should be going squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak"
"How High is a Chinaman."
"I don't know, how high is a chinaman?"
"No - How High is a Chinaman..."
You want chip widdat?
redted - Member
Did you hear about the gay ghosts?
They put the willies up each other.
RAOTFLMAO
Why don't fairies ever get pregnant?
Cos they only go to goblin parties.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks... They charged one and let the other one off.
I asked my missus for a w**k the other night. Well she starts rubbing my willy with a key ring & I think, 'I'm just being fobbed off here'.
Bloke gets on a bus with his six wives. An old woman sat there fuming at this sight until she could no longer restrain herself.She turned to him and said "Its disgusting....you aught to be bloody well hung!" He turns to her and says "I am missis, I am."
Sorry....my dad told me that when I were a nipper and I'm sixty bleedin four now!
I used to enjoy selling pancakes, but recently, i couldn't give a crepe
I used to enjoy making pancakes, but recently, I couldn't give a toss.