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I'm finding reading this thread and the recent thread on not having kids quite an eye opener. So much evidence of resentment that a lot of the "best thing I ever did" statements at the dewey eyed moments of first solid pooh/steps/bike ride etc will end up being swapped for internalised regret and bitterness from either side of the relationship.
Me, both treated equally but she got a riding holiday but felt the fishing rod I received was somehow 'not fair' so she stood on it. No evidence at the time but I know it was her even though she refuses to admit it even now. 😈
Because people are arseholes like that. It will be something you did or didn't do.....perhaps you don't offer them enough narcissistic supply....probably....maybe.....
The odd thing is it's obvious it's not consciously deliberate, more like subconsciously incompetent.
This reminds me....you lot will love the series Bloodline.
It's all about this kind of stuff, so it might be cathartic.
I'm the middle child of 3,both my older Sister and younger Brother have needed parents help in many ways whereas I never have.I'm very close to my siblings still and it doesn't bother me in the slightest,and never has either.I'm just glad they've had parents to help them,if you think about it its an issue that many folk without parents still alive would love to have...
Arse, have I missed something an overreacted - again?
No, you didn't chap. Yunki is quite 'direct'! I was being sarcastic. Lowest form of wit and all that - sorry! 😕
Feel very lucky reading some of this. Mrs JAMJ's parents treated all the children very fairly - they all got varying support depending on what was needed - but the all knew it was there. In fact my mother in law took another job so my wife could go to university as they were not well off at all (My now wife worked too!) and lent hard-earned money to my BiL to start a business and delayed her retirement. A truly remarkable and lovely person.
My parents were pretty good all in. I remember resenting a couple of things where my brother and I were treated differently as we grew up, sometimes it seemed he was spoilt and in particular his housing and domestic costs were met when he was at university, whilst I supported myself and also helped him out with stuff for biking etc... A bit later I realised that my dad spoilt my brother with things but probably to compensate when he wasn't there as much as he was for me. Also by the time my brother went to university, my mum was in a different place financially.
Now of course, I have realised how much my parents did for me and am so glad I have been able to appreciate that and thank them whilst I could.
[url=
]"Your only leverage over your parents as an adult child is your presence in their lives"[/url]
Dan Savage, talking about coming out to your parents. But I think the basic point about handling adult relationships with parents is of general application.
🙂
my brother is a big hitter on here. my parents like me more but the internet likes him more. who wins? (I have more bikes but they're rubbish.)