Forum menu
An iron pub? Rofl
What do you do if you find a trumpet growing in your scottish garden?
You root it ooot!
Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?
.... Dr Dre
😳
possibly may get me modded, but one of my favorites.
(my other favorites DEFINTALY would get me modded
As a seasonal gesture the Tampax factory are currently
replacing all the string on their tampons with tinsel...
.
.
.
.
.
......but only for the Christmas [i]period[/i].
.
.
.
Don't worry, I'm not here all week....
....I've got to drive down to Sussex after Boxing Day 😉
What's grey and comes in pints? .... an elephant
What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?..... swim
What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle?....wipe it off and apologise.
Knock-knock
who's there?
Pile up
pile up who
Immature no?
The demand was for shite jokes after all - something more erudite/geeky...
There are 10 kinds of people in the world; those who can count binary and those who can't.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world; those who can count binary and those who can't
Very good
You know we were so poor I had to wear my sister's hand me downs.
It was hard, but I dragged myself up and out of there.
how do you know if you've passed an elephant?
the toilet won't flush properly
I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.
He said, " Only if you make up the time."
I said, " OK. It's 35 past 50."
What do you call a man who's been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder?
These are good crackers, aren't they? Who bought these?
There are 10 kinds of people in the world; those who can count binary and those who can'tVery good
It gets better (depending on POV)...
There 10 kinds of people in the world - those who can count ternary, those who can't and those who mistake it for binary
hilarious stuff 🙂
The world`s untidiest man has sadly just died. His body is now lying in a state.
Ronnie B
Aren't there 10 types of people in the world - those who understand quaternary, those who don't, those who mistake it for binary and those who find this sort of thing amusing?
Merry christmas everyone. Sorry it's early, I suffer from premature congratulations.
I got very upset in the petrol station earlier. I don't know why, I just started filling up.
my favourite crap joke is too long to bother typing (or you reading!) but it ends with 'Fish Chimps and Mushy Bees'.
[url= http://www.jokefile.co.uk/numerical_order/1186.html ]Here it is.[/url]
I was riding my bike across the playing fields of the local Islamic school yesterday when someone shot at me with a starting pistol.
The police think the incident may be race related.
Everybody knows that crocodiles can swim better than humans.
What's not so well known is that an adult crocodile can run pretty fast on dry land too.
So if you're ever up against a crocodile in a triathlon, you'd better be good on a bike.
Aren't there 10 types of people in the world - those who understand quaternary, those who don't, those who mistake it for binary and those who find this sort of thing amusing?
Nope, there are 2 kinds of people in the world; those who think there are 2 kinds of people in the world and those who don't 😆
found mr whippy on the floor of his ice cream van earlyer, he was covered in flakes and henreds and thousends.
we soon realised he had topped himself.
I think I've solved the Joanna Yeates murder enquiry:
Who could sneak into your house without causing a disturbance?
Silently abduct you and knock you unconscious without leaving a mark?
And has a penchant for pizza?
I'll bet it's those ****ing Ninja Turtles!
.
.
Too soon?
Quite possibly kt1973.
Went to the doctor and told him I keep thinking I'm Tom Jones.
"Well," he said, "it's not unusual".
My mate drowned in a bowl of museli the other day- he was pulled in by a strong currant....
My racing snail wasn't winning anymore so I decided to take his shell off, reduce his weight and make him more aerodynamic. It didn't work. If anything it made him more sluggish.
A group of chess players were sat talking after a tournament at the Ritz. Each enjoyed giving details of their best game of the tournament. Suddenly the manager came over and ordered them out of the hotel. One asked him why and his reply was
"[b]I can't stand Chess Nuts Boasting In An Open Foyer[/b]"
Did you hear about the two gay ghosts?
They kept putting the willies up each other.
Priest checks into a hotel and asks reception "I hope porn channel is disabled".
Reception guy replies "nah just normal you sicko"
My new years resolution for 2010 was to stop sniffing glue....So far, I've stuck to it.....I'll try again in 2011.
I just opened my freezer and saw a little alien having a ****. I said, "What the hell are you doing?" He said, "I cum in peas".
I went to a fishmongers and asked for a large haddock.
"Ok" he said, "wont be long"
"Better be bl**dy wide then!" I said
Denzildoorknob - Member
mY LOCAL FAMILY BUTCHER'S SELLING EIGHT VENISON LEGS FOR £49.99......
Does anyone think that's too dear?
-
wow, bet they're quick! Don't know why people want to mess around with genetics, - sick.
Doe.....
A book just fell on my head.
I've only got myshelf to blame.
Dr dre / snoop joke is the best joke.... end ov.
Our milkman told me that he'd had every woman in our street bar one. Told my wife. She said, "Oh I bet it's that stuck up cow at no 24!"..... 😯
The barman says "I'm sorry, we don't serve time travellers"
A time traveller walks into a bar.
I bought a DVD the other day, on the back it said "3.142 stars out of 5."
I'm worried that it might be pirated.
A midget in my town had his wallet stolen by a pickpocket.
How could anyone stoop so low?
Cougar you should be ashamed of that DVD one 😀
I'm really liking that one at the moment. (-:
Another geeky one,
I bought the missus a Klein bottle for Christmas. A right bugger to wrap, it was.
coolhandluke - Member
"What's brown and sticky?
A stick."
This is the greatest and best joke in the world.