Best advice I can give as a bloke in a similar situation but a bit further down the road, is flex with it. What we do is alternating Christmases, and on the years that you don’t have the pleasure of the day itself, just have xmas no.2, or Winter solstice, or happy new year celebrations. The 25th is just an arbitrary date, after all. As for the day itself, be busy. You’re a GP I think? Then work a locum with the OOH provider. Mega bucks! I work the Christmases that I don’t have my boys, and I am happy to do so, because it allows parents who have their kids to have the day off (And it pays well unless I’m already rostered to work😎).
My friend's ex partner, who is originally from China, has taken the kids with her to "see her family" and he's not sure if they are ever coming back. Rough.
Hope you got through it ok OP.
I went through this about 8 years ago, and the good news is it gets better and I now have a fab relationship with my girls, aside from their regular teenage stuff....
I’d offer a couple of bits of advice. Firstly bad accepting of change, the quicker you can accept and embrace the changes, the happier you can be. Secondly, arrange time to plan a structure for when the kids are where. I do this on an excel calendar and plan about a year at a time and agree it with the ex. There are then changes sometimes, but largely everyone knows where they are and it prevents disagreements. Google the 4 stages of change.
Thirdly, take the time to agree plans with the ex, who’s paying for what, handover times, bedtimes, phone rules etc etc. The more things you can discuss/agree the less arguments there will be later on.
Fourth, and most important, enjoy your time with them and don’t let them see you sad, don’t overdo it but don’t waste your time. Just make it ‘normal’. Don’t involve them in any parental disagreements, let them be kids and don’t give them adult problems. Have fun with them.
Finally, enjoy your ‘feee time’ cycling, or whatever other hobbies you have. I found myself feeling guilty, but I have lots of hobbies so I made the most of my time.
Time is a good healer, but look for the positives in life....
My girls are my world and they are very happy in their 2 homes, good luck