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Ian Dury on my play list today and just remembered I once nicked not a razzle but a Mayfair when I was a paperboy. Making up your papers at 6am it took courage to reach up and hope the shop manageress never saw my thieving hands.
It was educational and a much better read than the people's friend or woman's weekly
They just had adverts at the back for reinforced bras, incontinence trousers or bulk buying condoms
Anyone else helped them self or maybe had an abundance of hedgerow porn?
Never stole any no but I’m off the Hedge Porn generation.
I bought a jazz mag once - psyched myself up to go in the little corner shop. Grabbed the mag from the shelf (Penthouse, I think), grabbed another mag, to hide it behind (as you do, er, did). Turned around - in this shop the magazine rack and the counter were directly opposite each other.. and stood behind the counter was a girl I fancied who lived in the same road as me Ah man, there was no going back. Face red hot, dumped mags on the counter, paid, scarpered. Gave up on ever asking her out anyway. Ah the joys of being 42. ( I was 17 really 😀 )
I was once returning home on my white Amaco "racer" when I spotted that distinctive fleshy hue in the middle of the road. I pedalled over and there for my taking was a brand new copy of Escort. On the cover - the girls of Southampton; stripping off at bus stops at 5am. It was up my jumper before you could say "toss".
Was it jettisoned from a car? Quite a mystery but I made good use of it.
My first purchase was from a tobacconist at Knaresborough Bus Station. I couldn't reach the shelf so I told the lady that I was buying it for my dad who was at home ill and she got it down for me.
A few years later I got a train to Leeds specifically to go to a shop where they sold harder stuff (still all black starred out naughty bits though). Unfortunately I spent all my money on the train so I couldn't afford it so I nicked it and ran out of the shop and it went flying out of my jacket as I ran. I did manage to get it back though 🙂
Anyone remember white dog shit?
Anyone remember white dog shit?
Not me, I stayed with the mainstream publications.
I worked in an experimental recycling project in about 1980. Our work involved sorting domestic refuse, dustbin rubbish. We learned that any bundles of magazines double wrapped in plastic bags and then taped shut, were bound to be porn. What a lot we found! Everything from Mayfair to very unleasant specialist stuff which I couldn't face.
Like Drac I'm old enough to remember grumble mags being recycled in hedgerows.
I did once purchase a games mag which contained an interesting and unexpected bonus supplement, one which I genuinely did not add myself. Presumably some other reprobate had been having a sly browse in the newsagent before I took my pocket money in for the monthly copy of Your Spectrum.
A mate of mine had the most comprehensive collection of magazines I'd ever seen. Some mainstream stuff and some from the US and Scandinavia. It was about 1990 and I'd just purchased a desktop publishing system for my technical publications department. This gave me access to an A4 scanner. So...I scanned in the Greater Manchester Police badge to make a convincing letterhead and composed a letter. Something to the effect that GMP are aware of porn circulating around building sites in the Salford area (mate is a joiner) and that a task force was being put together. I sent the letter.
He went out at four in the morning and burnt his entire collection!
I didn't tell him for about fifteen years and even then he was absolutely fuming.
I think buying a lady friend a copy of Playgirl* might have been a misplaced act of equality back in my youth.
* not quite sure of the name but it had lots of pictures of men with big dicks
Did any of you have a wee compartment under your bed to stash a good copy of maybe a Fiesta with readers wifes. My mum never ever found it or was maybe scared to look
A friend of mine had the task of clearing out his dad's collection of gay porn after his dad sadly passed away, all bagged up along with some toys, took them up to the recycling centre and one of the bags split just has he launched it into the skip, leaving him with an empty carrier bag in his hand, whilst strewn all around his feet were numerous gay porn mags fluttering in the wind...
I worked in my local fishing tackle shop and one of the regulars worked at a recycling centre. He brought in stacks of jazz mags. I ended up taking the lot home and then flogging them all at school. I made quite a bit of cash.
Later that year we had an assembly about why we should stay on for 6th form and the head of 6th said about suggestions they'd had to make 6th form better...one of them was a porn library, at which point half our year turned around and looked at me.
My mum never ever found it or was maybe scared to look
I thought I'd done a good job of hiding my (very small) collection of mags, only to be told by my mum about 10-15 years later that perhaps I'd hadn't been as clever as I'd thought 🙂
My best mate at school had access to innumerable Colour Climax grumble mags and we made good coin selling them to the lower years and then “confiscating” them a week or so later.
My brother found a bag full of hardcore stuff. After a few days he decided to burn it as he wasn't getting any work done..
He built a bonfire in the garden and started to burn it. Unfortunately he lived in the grounds of a National Trust property, next to the coach park. Chunks of the magazines would detach and get caught in the updraft, scattering themselves (with closeups) across the estate. I think some recently arrived grannies got quite an eyeful.
A mate had a thriving business passing on stray copies of gentleman's magazines he obtained as a paperboy - think he took from the returns pile.
Thought my collection was well hidden but mum found it and ordered to have a conversation with me about it.
Dad: Mum found your magazines. I'm very disappointed in you
Me: Sorry
Dad: You should have told me where to find them
Probably not the telling off mum was hoping for.
i remember finding a copy of Electric Blue in a hedge once when i was quite young, 10 or 11 maybe, which was 30 years ago...
Ive always known about hedgegrow porn as a thing - but what the hell was it really all about?? why did folk chuck their grub mags in the bushes??
It came as quite a shock to me when I discovered that real ladies didn't have massive staples in them.
Anyone remember white dog shit?
Not me, I stayed with the mainstream publications.
You owe me a new keyboard.
One thing I remember about Razzle (also being of the hedgerow grumble generation) was the precision that went into the Razzlestack arrangement that often featured. Never mind the lung capacity of the lady on the bottom of the pile, the photographer was an absolute perfectionist. That's the thing with modern pron, no precision, no spirit levels, no metre rulers.
Not me, I stayed with the mainstream publications.
LOVL!
In about '95 several people squatted in our student accommodation whilst we were away over the summer holidays. The landlord and his sons chased them off but they left behind the proceeds from a porn shop they had robbed. Literally hundreds of BDSM mags, very tame by Pornhub standards, just grainy posed pictures of men in track suits using slippers on bums, quite eye opening. It took the Police two cars to cart them all away.
It came as quite a shock to me when I discovered that real ladies didn’t have massive staples in them.
I've seen a couple of videos that would suggest otherwise
Anyone else helped them self
continuous helping yourself can make it worse
It still happens, there still is hedge porn. Just not in magazine form. We found this out on our lockdown walk last week
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why did folk chuck their grub mags in the bushes??
Because porn is harder to dispose of than spent fuel rods from a Magnox reactor.
Because porn is harder to dispose of than spent fuel rods from a Magnox reactor.
I can’t say I’m surprised they chose you to conduct that study 🙂
That's actually the complete pilot training for the Boeing 737 max.
@cynic-al - we still get it! I think it was down to the bone meal content of dog food of that era.
We feed our dogs raw food. It's basically minced up meat, carcass and bone.
One advantage of this is that the product is solid and easy to scoop!
That’s actually the complete pilot training for the Boeing 737 max.
It's actually "Dorcel Airlines - Flight DP69"...I'll let you google it.
we still get it! I think it was down to the bone meal content of dog food..
don't recognise a sarky "not another nostalgia thread" remark when you see one, eh?
When I started working for the local council in the parks & Landscape department back in 89 we used to always find the stuff in the hedges/bushes.
Anyone else helped them self
A-ha. A euphemism for exactly what top shelf literature was intended for.
Anyone remember white dog shit?
Not me, I stayed with the mainstream publications.
Deserves recognition.
:applause:
It’s actually “Dorcel Airlines – Flight DP69″…I’ll let you google it.
Is it safe for work?
I'm in my home office if that makes any difference.
I did once purchase a games mag which contained an interesting and unexpected bonus supplement, one which I genuinely did not add myself. Presumably some other reprobate had been having a sly browse in the newsagent before I took my pocket money in for the monthly copy of Your Spectrum.
I admit I used to take delight in rearranging the "supplements" in John Menzies as a youth.
Did any of you have a wee compartment under your bed to stash a good copy
Mine was in a genius spot in the airing cupboard (in my room) under the bottom of it (it was one of those ones that hung over the stairs and started around waist height in the room). Genius until a pipe sprung a leak and my dad found it that was. Tbf he never really cared.
BillOddie showing a lot of knowledge about this topic...
I can't see that text on the image.
Anyone care to remember Bizarre mag & those pesky bdsm sexual midgets
Tatts, prince alberts etc
Totally awe inspiring mag as a teenager
Anyone remember Lynn Armitage the cyclist pornstar ? my mate used to babysit for her !
Some of the posts on this page are priceless!
I’ve not laughed so much in ages!
Great thread....hilarious. I'm just listening to Mr Drury at the moment.
When at uni about 20 years ago I was in the local newsagent when another of the customers decided he'd plucked up enough courage to make his selection from the top shelf. He tried to make a quick grab for his chosen mag to hide behind the more regular title he already had in his hand. However he was almost too quick and due to the way the magazines were layered the one next to it fell open on the floor. Embarrassing enough but this created a domino effect and literally the whole content of the top shelf fell to his feet, one after the other, probably taking a total of 10 seconds whilst everyone in there just turned and watched. Drawing much more attention than he was hoping for I imagine.
I'm not sure how this was all tidied up, I paid for mars bar and left, looking forward to regaling my housemates with the story when I returned home.
The village i used to live in collected papers and magazines for recycling, they were stored in the old blacksmiths workshops, once every 3 or 4 months one of the big recycling plants would send a truck and container for us to load up, it would take 5-6 of us 3 hours to load up. the driver always left behind a very good collection of Europe's finest jazz mags, the next morning whilst on my paper round I would collect them up and sell them at school