[Closed] Psycho neighbour really wants a fight

So, moral of the story is don't shout "Oi" when someone reverses into you car.

What have you to lose by trying to talk to him? It's very unlikely to make matters worse and quite possible that it will at least quieten things down. You'll also have evidence of trying to improve the situation rather than simply being a victim.
I'd still just move though.

Bombers?
Wee in shoes?
Passive submissive notes?

Register his address with loads of gay porn suppliers.

fart through his letterbox. that'll learn 'im. try not to s**** when doing it, however funny your fart sounds.

Transactional analysis: You initiated a conversation as a parent to a child ("Oi!"). And he responded as a child to a parent ("It wasn't me so **** off"). You can break the cycle by communicating as an adult; you are more likely to receive an adult response in turn.

If I'd accidentally hit a neighbour's car and they came out shouting "oi", I wouldn't stand there having a conversation with them. I'd apologise and say I'd be happy to speak to them when they're calm.

It sounds as though you're dealing with someone who's emotionally a child. You got his back up with your aggressive tone. This has allowed him to have a grudge against you whilst taking no responsibility for his own part in the dispute. However hard it is, stay mature and polite.

So what did you do when this guy damaged your car then swore at you in the street? Because that's a police matter. I've known people to be arrested for criminal damage because they bumped their neighbour's bumper when parking.

If you don't intend to do anything about him damaging your car and then swearing at you in front of the whole street, then I don't see why you'd want to do something about him coming out of his house and looking at you.

My (honest and well-meant) advice would be to greet him politely every time you see him. "Morning!" and otherwise try to ignore him. Football chants? That's not worth your effort to respond to, surely.

He wants to get to you so you need to show him that he hasn't.

Buy this season's man City kit and wear every time you leave the house. 😉

Next time he's in the street as you return from a ride, do this in front of him...

In my limited experience you are screwed, your choices are move house, wait for it to escalate and get a humiliating beating which you may or may not record, but he won't give a shit about unless he gets arrested and then it will get *really bad for you* or escalate it on your terms and risk a criminal record.

Its a life lesson that for some people violence isn't the last option, its one of the first and everyone isn't just like you and your mates/colleagues and some people really do enjoy a couple of pints and a fight to unwind.

Another life lesson is a shovel can fix many a conflict... just don't hit them with the edge unless you really have too 🙂

You need to either get the authorities involved or go full on 'Michael Keaton' on him.
[img] [/img]

Go Micheal Keaton and post daily updates of his slow demise in to paranoia and outright fear.

Borrow an E-bike and do donuts on his lawn.
He's quite clearly a hater.

Failing that, I've got a spare old CCTV system with cameras, you're welcome to borrow it for as long as necessary.
If you're Manc based you could pick it up from Delamere Cafe.

My experience of this kind of guy is if they are going to hit you they would of done it by now.

I'd just let the police know what's going on, and for his daughters sake ring social services.

If you're Manc based you could pick it up from Delamere Cafe

Clearly not, he lives next to a MUFC fan 😀

don't escalate to violence, you win calls the cops , you lose he becomes a bigger arse . I would suggest seeking advise from your local police they should have some neighbourhood policing team of some sort. is a tenant ? . moving is the sure way to end the problem .

Report to the police now. Then if he does get physical and you get a lucky shot in you'll be covered.

Bombard him with annoying stuff for 1 week constantly.. Hire him a skip, book him taxis for 5am, order him some pizza. Annoy him for a whole week. Dont tell anyone but just remain smug and smile whenever you see him and get ever more creative in ways to annoy the crap out of him. Repeat this again a month later with new and better ways.

if you were going to get a smack it would have happened by now. Sounds like a loud mouth more than anything else.

Just be pleasant to him. If he does or says anything else that's beyond being a nob then gently explain to him that after he threatened you decided to let it go, but as it's carrying on you'll probably have to get the cops involved which would be a shame as you've no intentions of moving anywhere and it would be better to be civil than the alternative. The best way to do this is to be entirely reasonable with him.

Make sure you invite a few mates round in the next week or two for a few noisy beers when he's at home.

Also make sure he sees you talking to people who live in your road.

If you report him to police don't you need to declare this when selling your house?

I don't have any advice Derek - but it sounds as if you are in the right.

CCTV sounds like good advice. Where are you? I know of a bloke in Leeds who sells security stuff. Big bloke who rides bikes too!
Seriously, CCTV & log everything. The bloke sounds like a right tool.

From here on in you're going to feel ill at ease in your own home and unless you're stupid enough to escalate this to an argument that may well end in violence there's nothing to be done. I do feel that if he was going to assault you he would have done so but still do you want to continue to live under these circumstances? Unfortunately he treats everyone around him poorly so he's unlikely to change. Until he is actually violent the police wont care as being an arsehole isn't a crime.

Lifes too short and If I lived next to bloke like that I'd move.

It's been my experience that folk who are going to hit you, do it first and don't talk about it. Bullies tend to mouth off and preen themselves and sadly only confrontation settles the problem, or you move away. Sadly the authorities neither act quick enough or in a manner that will 100% satisfy the victim hell they are just as likely to turn on you if you act to protect yourself.

I think I'd at least give the beer and apology a shot first 'Dude I thought you'd rammed my car, sorry if I wound you up' and take it from there, if that doesn't do it then the options are, Buy a big aggressive dog, take a baseball bat to your next meeting whilst wearing a full face crash helmet, or move away.

All that cctv shit will wind them up more, get the social services to remove their children how do you think he'll view you then? You have to put yourself in your opponents shoes before deciding to fully engage in a battle, even psychos have feelings and as some wag back there said, he's a ManU fan so not in the greatest place right now.

Sorry I can't help you further it's difficult this, as a youngster I was always bullied and had to fight my corner so do to tend to weigh in hard if pushed but I also recognise my limitations and close proximity right next door, I'd weigh my options very carefully before taking the nuclear option.

Hire him a skip, book him taxis for 5am, order him some pizza

Pop down to your local station and ask for advice.

Why should you live uncomfortably and in fear in your own home/area?

Hope you get this resolved soon. I wouldn't move.

mitsumonkey

Oh and if he does up the intimidatation carry some tools (hammer) in a tote to and from the car just in case you 'ahem' break down/need to do maintenance on the house.

Yeah, carry a hammer. That way if it does turn physical you can go straight to jail, or he can just take it off you and beat you to death. 🙄

Apply for a shotgun licence
The police used to have to turn up and see you had a secure gun cabinet ,lockable and out of sight .
He wont know why the police are round yours, then when you get your shotgun you can stick it up his exhaust pipe and ask him if he still thinks its funny to be the playground bully.
Or maybe best to just pretend and buy a broomstick and a padded gun bag, ear plugs , a tweed jacket with a shoulder pad , a spaniel and get some target clays delivered to his house, by mistake of course.

Lend him one of your bikes and when he goes out on it run him over.You probably won't even get points

I really feel for you.

Remember that you are educated and well brought up. Don't lower yourself to his level.

Seriously think about moving.

He won't approach him if he's carrying tools will he jimjam, just like he won't stand there trying to intimidate him in the front garden if the op is swinging a big axe chopping logs in his. Bullies rely on a weak target.

Definitely get tooled up.

mitsumonkey

He won't approach him if he's carrying tools will he jimjam,

I wasn't aware that this was a thing.

just like he won't stand there trying to intimidate him in the front garden if the op is swinging a big axe chopping logs in his.

Or he might see right through it and recognise it some kind of pathetic show of fake toughness, with a weapon no less.

Bullies rely on a weak target.

People come in all shapes and forms. Not all "bullies" fit the tv and film mold of folding when you stand up to them. Some might even react negatively to such a challenge.

Are you sure you don't live next to half the people on here!!!??

Oi jimjam! (See what I did there lol) what would you do then if you found yourself in the same position?

Oi jimjam! (See what I did there lol) what would you do then if you found yourself in the same position?

I'd get an aggressive dog. Everyone looks hard with an aggressive dog by their side.

I'd get an aggressive dog. Everyone looks hard with an aggressive dog by their side.

We had an issue with our old neighbour.
Very inconsiderate, late sweary arguments and door slamming, coming around shouting and swearing at mrsdts and me in front of our kids.
Accusing us of damaging their cars, and creeping about taking photos..many more things happened, too many to mention.
Overall just horrid to live next door to.
We wanted to move anyway, we always were going to but they were a significant reason to move sooner rather than later.
We chose not to escalate as we didn't want to make it more of an issue, before we moved.
I would add that if it is making you unhappy and stressed, take action. I'm not advocating physical action.
get CCTV, report to police, talk to neighbours. It won't stop making you unhappy if the situation stays like this.
Good luck.

If you report him to police don't you need to declare this when selling your house?

My understanding is that you don't need to "declare" anything, rather you have to be honest if asked.

Incidentally,

Have you spoken to the other neighbours? Anyone else with similar issues with him? Urge them to report it also, united front and all that.

And a tattoo.

😀 To be fair, that'd be far easier.
Although you'd probably make yourself unemployable.

I think you have to declare if you're in dispute with a neighbour (in Scotland anyway).
When we were about to move out of Edinburgh, our tw*nt of a neighbour decided to take down, and rebuild, the dividing wall just at viewing time. Unbelievable. Quite aggressive about it too. I phoned our solicitor, who phoned me back, on a different line, advising that it would probably be best not to escalate..

Sure enough we had to sign / declare that there was no dispute with neighbours..

I would add that if it is making you unhappy and stressed, take action. I'm not advocating physical action.

The only language these types of people understand is "physicality" i.e. rufty tufty.

Warnings from the police, letters in the post etc. etc. - the guy probably can't even read.

I'd string up a punch bag in your back garden and get punching. Smear some fake blood on your knuckles. When he's in earshot, get your wife to ask you if you need to go to A&E to get it your wounds seen to; reply with "I don't feel pain"

Tough situation to be in OP and I sympathise with you. I had a difficult and abusive neighbour for many years. I tried the sensible route and had the police round there many times with each incident being logged and believe me it was a long and varied log sheet they were able to build up. Every time the plod turned up they just seemed to have yet another excuse why they couldn't deal with him. In the end I snapped one day and 'had a word' with him. The whole street went quiet as I described to him just how nasty I was prepared to get. I actually had him cowering and some of the neighbours still give me a wide berth.

He has since moved and crosses the road when he sees me; being polite and law abiding for many years meant he didn't know what a nasty sod I really am until I decided I'd had enough. There are sadly some scumbags in this world who will only understand the threat of violence or violence itself. Log the abuse with the police by all means but be prepared to go full on postal at some point. Sounds like your actions are limited to either standing up to him or moving; how much do you like your house?