[Closed] properly shit animals

Cats.
Seagulls.

Sheep.

Well, there was plenty of proper sheep shit on the field I rode up this morning.

Dogs too.

Plenty of dog grenades in the forest this morning too.

Capybara - which is perhaps not fair, if you're not familiar they're basically massive Guinea Pigs.

They seem to have soul purpose on Earth, to be eaten.

Technically like most rodents, they can live on pretty much anything, but they've evolved to prefer to live and eat in a semi-aquatic environment, where their predators are - most things big enough to eat them, eat them - they don't appear to be very good at getting away from, well anything - Jaguars, Pumas, Ocelots and Eagles all seem to gobble them up but but mostly it's Caiman Crocodiles and Anacondas - they could give them the finger and just move a bit more on-land, but they don't - the species has evolved another 'defence' mechanism - reproduction, they simply out shag their predator's appetite - it's very successful for the species, but a bit shit for the individual.

I find them distastefully defeatist.

I'll have a pop*

Spaniards – the ones still engaged in bullfighting and especially the ones trying to gain credibility for Baby Bullfighting as seen doing the rounds on Facebook recently. its 2016 not the 15th century

Faroese – you know who you are, hearding pilot wales into a shallow area so they can be killed with knives and hammers. Oh, its traditional alright but the claim its for the meat is a bit lame since the Danish Govt declared 1 meal a month a safe limit as its full of mercury. This tradition, turning the sea red with blood, again, I feel has no purpose /porpoise ... its past its sell by date and strangely, doesn't appear in the Traditional Arts and Crafts section of tourist brochures

Chinese – yes, you at the dog eating festival. Probably the grimmest set of pictures. I can't bring myself to look at a lot of them... Go ahead, eat dogs, no problem there... but FFS... kill it cleanly and quickly.

As a species we are probably the nastiest of the lot.... and don't get me started on Ramblers or Roadies...

*Other injustices are available...

Geese. They are the street gangs of the pond. Violent, loud scary avian abominations.

Humans. We drive the giant panda close to extinction then laugh at it for not being able to reproduce. What a bunch of ****s.

Another vote for cats and cat owners, oxygen thieves the lot of them

Humans. We drive the giant panda close to extinction then laugh at it for not being able to reproduce. What a bunch of ****.

People who call others with a perfectly rational dislike for cats and their cockwomble owners

I agree with essel on both points ^

People who call others with a perfectly rational dislike for cats and their cockwomble owners

So are you actually calling me a 'cockwomble'? (even though, by the way, we don't actually have a cat)

dog owning mtbers, particularly those cockwombles who think that letting their dog run loose at a trail centre is a good idea.

Black Cat Mk II

Adorable, but frankly absolutely shit at being a cat!

Dog owners who don't clear up their dog muck.

So are you actually calling me a 'cockwomble'? (even though, by the way, we don't actually have a cat)

I think you've answered your own question

Wildebeasts - go on holiday every year over a river full of crocodiles with lions each side.

Wildebeasts - go on holiday every year over a river full of crocodiles with lions each side.

😆

I think you've answered your own question

So, because I like cats (& animals in general, apart from a lot of particular human beings) I'm a 'cockwomble'?
Final clarification please, yes or no? Am I a cockwomble or not? Simple question.

I am surprised that no one has mentioned the moth yet.
And if cats were that shit they could not have so successfully conned humans into doing their evil murderous work for them.

Indeed, dogs have owners
Cats have staff

Esslegrump:

Read what I wrote

Read what you wrote

As I said, you've answered your own question. Quite simple.

Koalas, look cute, but actually manky stinky lazy gits covered in cheap acrylic carpet.

Yappy ankle-shagging dogs. And Cats.

Badgers, sweet corn eating bastards.

Jeremy Hunt

Tories.... Devious, nasty bas***ds the lot of em!

Flies. Mossies. Shit little creatures.
Horses. Shit, pointless, stupid big creatures. Tempted to give them a bye for being so delicious though.
Everything else is good 🙂

Red squirrels.
Man up you fluffy little bastards.

Esslegrump:
Read what I wrote
Read what you wrote
As I said, you've answered your own question. Quite simple.

People who call others with a perfectly rational dislike for cats and their cockwomble owners

Pheasants.

Like to take casual strolls on tarmac when surrounded by lovely countryside, thinks it can outrun a car then seems unable to move out of the way when finally remembering it can't.

They're the animal equivalent of roadies.

Bats and badgers. Can't even drive 2 miles round here after dark without the former bouncing off your windscreen or the latter bouncing off your wheels*.

slight exaggeration but never seen so many Brock in my life. And the bats are batshit mental at the moment chasing moths along the lanes

dog owning mtbers, particularly those cockwombles who think that letting their dog run loose at a trail centre is a good idea.

+ a bazillion!

Unicorns.
Just because you've stuck a Cornetto cone on your head, doesn't make you any better than a horse.

......and the Duck Billed Platypus.
Nature's answer to Mr Potato Head.
Although they are quite cute.

I quite like cats (and dogs too), I'd have one if I owned a large country house. I think people who own them in an urban area are really quite antisocial, cats will sh@@ on your neighbours gardens (their sh@@ is full of nasty stuff which children are very likely to come into contact with). I've heard folk say that their cats only sh@@ in their own garden, well that's because their territory does not extend beyond it.

So yeah, it's got to be humans.

My St Bernard.

I am currently living in a Dengue and Zika infected area, really if mosquitoes were wiped out it would be nice, apart from maybe some of the artic species which don't bite humans and are important to the food chain.

There are lots of stray cats around here, which i don't mind that much, but some humans are massively overfeeding them. So the cats totally ignore the rodent population which is a bit out of control at the moment. In fact i think the mice are eating the spare cat food. I think a cat eat mice world would be better.

Cats. Their farts stink worse than dog farts and they're not even good company. A truly shit animal. And their owners are even worse.

Maybe owning any animal as a pet is wrong? It would be virtually impossible to police correct pet ownership so maybe we should ban all pets?

+1 Domesticated Cats. Kill ground nesting birds and small mammals en masse. They should all be shot on sight.

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Critically endangered, because.....cats.

Dogs. Pointless noisy barking crapping creatures. And their ahole owners who allow them to keep barking and crapping without any consideration for anyone else.

People who use the internet and have different opinions to me. Bastards the lot of them.... 😉

Unicorns.
Just because you've stuck a Cornetto cone on your head, doesn't make you any better than a horse.

Yes it does as you can easily catch and roast marshmallows thrown at you

Fair point well made

The only truly useless species is us. We destroy far more than we create...

Unicorns.
Just because you've stuck a Cornetto cone on your head, doesn't make you any better than a horse.
Yes it does as you can easily catch and roast marshmallows thrown at you

Going to struggle to eat them though.

Narwhal. Just because it's the unicorn of the sea doesn't make it better than the other whales.

Come on....you can't have Narwhal.
Unicorns are real where as Narwhals are just freaky made up Jules Verne stuff!

I got stung by a wasp today. First time in my 52 years. Didn't even bloody hurt. What's the point of having a sting if it doesn't hurt you shit creature?