Only in Oz – Page 2 – Chat Forum – Singletrack World Magazine Forum

epicyclo · 2016-01-14T18:03:48Z

[imgMate claims this is from an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses. Sounds fair dinkum to me. :) __________________________________________________ Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) A:Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden ) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK ) A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA ) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) A: You are a British politician, right? __________________________________________________ Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. __________________________________________________ Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA ) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. __________________________________________________ Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA ) A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. __________________________________________________ Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA ) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. __________________________________________________ Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France ) A: Only at Christmas. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA ) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

epicyclo

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Road riding at night is more interesting in North Queensland...

[img] http://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/bab1367833abd221d122bda43d3946e4?width=1024 [/img]

Posted : 06/12/2016 12:32 pm

epicyclo

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[url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-38284948 ]My home town in Oz. The golfers played on...[/url]

[img] [/img]

Posted : 13/12/2016 1:51 pm

epicyclo

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[img] ?oh=672eaa248e74e19fa5eba3103e6e450f&oe=591223E2[/img]

Posted : 25/01/2017 11:19 pm

epicyclo

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'Nuff said.

[img] [/img]

Posted : 17/04/2017 10:38 am

rmacattack

Posts: 1098

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so everything is deadly in oz.

Posted : 17/04/2017 11:17 am

Northwind

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Definitely don't go in the showers
[img] [/img]

Posted : 17/04/2017 1:42 pm

mikewsmith

Posts: 52609

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rmacattack - Member
so everything is deadly in oz.

as far as I'm aware we got through an entire EWS with no snakes or drop bears, damm some people were worried

Posted : 17/04/2017 1:44 pm

mogrim

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Just read this today: https://futurism.com/researchers-just-discovered-a-spider-the-size-of-a-dinner-plate-in-australia/

Posted : 17/04/2017 2:04 pm

epicyclo

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mogrim - Member
Just read this today: https://futurism.com/researchers-just-discovered-a-spider-the-size-of-a-dinner-plate-in-australia/

I think I've seen one of those, but I'm sure there's bigger spiders out west around Camooweal.

They string a web of sorts between low bushes and trees to catch small birds, which is not fun when you find it when you're belting around the scrub at dawn in a Mini Moke with the screen down. 🙂

Posted : 17/04/2017 5:07 pm

WildHunter2009

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Tiger snakes are grumpy sods as well. Only seen one admittedly. Fair few dugites on the Perth trails through.
That asbestos pic on the other hand is terrifying. Wittenoom is an eerie place. Fair bit of that at work at times. Looks pretty in the gorges mind.

Posted : 18/04/2017 2:18 pm

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