Username checks out.
Shag them both. Then get back on the site. Do I have to think of everything round here?
🎩👏🏻🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
so what's the Singletrack OLD provider of choice? asking for a friend ........
Our time i guess given the age demograpic🙄🤣
I did the right thing and avoided a threesome,
The *right* thing.
You sure?
I'm having loads of fun on the online dating, not having to use it would be *more* fun. But hey ho.
so what’s the Singletrack OLD provider of choice? asking for a friend ……..
TBH, going by the age of a lot of you, rather than looking for second hand wedding dresses, i'd be checking out the deaths section of the local paper.
Maybe they are both out looking for victims haha
Well as someone who has been on OLD on and off for the past 9 months I have a checklist!
1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Avoid narcissists & emotional leeches.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. Don’t like something just because you think other people will like it, because they won’t.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. Don’t sleep with people who have more problems than you do.
9. Make each other laugh
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Be honest
10. If they look nothing like their profile pic make your excuses and leave.
11. If your not shagging by date 3, what are doing? dump them, immediately
12. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
13. Work out what your red flags are, and don’t let lust make you overlook them.
14. Do not take dating advice from people in long term relationships, they suck.
15. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
16. Say at the end of the first date if you do/don’t want a second date (everybody works out sooner or later that it’s a numbers game, being upfront saves everyone time).
17. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
18. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.
After my wife died I wasn't really sure if I wanted to be with anyone else, but after 3 years and a 3 month road trip on my own last year I knew I at least wanted a bit of company so after a bit of nerves this late 50's bloke signed up to OLD!
Well you know what I was pleasantly surprised & 10 different dates later became serious with one lady. Sadly it only lasted 4 months but it was a very passionate & exciting 4 months.
Ironically we decided it wouldn't work long term on the last day of a weeks holiday as the being together all the time highlighted little things that would have boiled our piss after a bit We are still friends and meet up for lunch every so often and take the mick out of each other.
I took a bit of time out till last month, then decided with the nice weather and time on my hands to try again.
Now I'm no George Clooney but seem to do OK with at least attracting dates, I'm guessing being 6'3" and able to hold a decent conversation gives me at least a head start?
I'm dating a lady who is very keen, easy going, tall & so far no obvious weird traits! Plus and she has a cracking pair of very long legs 😉
Plus and she has a cracking pair of very long legs
Better than collecting boring old stamps I guess, big freezer?
Good advice MrOverhoot, I will use that, although some of them are learned quickly!
In two months I have only really learned how to perfect a bio and photos, it’s so much like a cv, get it right and you can have almost limitless amounts of interest. Then unfortunately it’s sorting the wheat from the chaff. And the rule fit/single/sane… seen a pretty face over and over.., wonder why!
One tip I was given is get a female pal to check or even write your profile or a buddys wife. Or a gay pal. Good photos as well
Been with my oh I met on tinder for getting near 6 years now. I posts on here about it years back.
Since then she's stuck with me through the cancer diagnosis, no sex for a year due to broken cock and now... semi broken cock due to a literal "semi" aka concorde dick.
She's way better than I deserve.
I got feedback from matches, some solicited some not!
TJ is right, if you have a female/gay friend that you trust their judgement at least get them to proof read your profile & vet your pictures.
I had a few dates that showed me the pictures of other men on OLD and bloody hell I was shocked at the weirdos profiles!
I seem to have been lucky to only have one slightly strange woman message me and one fanny picture!
Sadly for women it seems to be a much higher ratio of strange blokes and dick pictures?
8. Don’t sleep with people who have more problems than you do.
Isn't the ultimate conclusion of that rule universal celibacy? 😀
8. Don’t sleep with people who have more problems than you do.
Lord no!
I have only dated people with more issues than me. It's the only way I can pretend to them and myself to be normal.lol
Online dating sites are full of narcissists and psychopaths. Approach with caution and remember the hot/crazy matrix.
Online dating sites are full of narcissists and psychopaths
Only as much as any place full of random people is.
11.
My last went on for 6 frickin months without so much as a erm, well nothing more than kissing... whenever we were "alone" she had her dog there. This dog that yapped and whined if we so much as hugged goodbye. I lived in hope but in the end we both got bored and ghosted each other 😆
Got a date tomorrow with someone 16 years my junior. I really don't know what to expect.
I'd just be honest and tell them you're talking to 2 people and might meet both on a date.
I met my wife on Tinder, back in 2018.
It's a bit like finding something to watch on Sky tv, you gotta filter through a lot of the crap to find something good.
Was on tinder for probably 2 years, had a fair few dates, got catfished once, once had one seemingly nice lass over drinks stare at my bald head and then ask me if I'd ever consider a hair transplant, had one match call me at 3am to tell me about her ex and went into a lot of detail, we'd only exchanged numbers the day before and had never met in person, matched with a fair few who were more interested in how I'd support them and their kids than how we'd get on as a couple, got ghosted a few times, got matched with loads who seemingly didn't know how to hold a conversation, at the time I was doing some favours for a farmer friend culling rabbits and pigeons, one of my photos was me in country attire with a shotgun over my shoulder that a friend took, interestingly enough about the same time I uploaded that photo I got a free trial to Tinder Gold for 30 days and found I had 3 or 4 of vegans matched with me, I matched with a few of them and straight out of the door they wanted to have hot topic debates around ethics and how can I live with myself. Also quite a few who were only on there for one thing only.
Quite a few of the dates I went on went really well but for one reason or another it just wouldn't have worked out.
I'd just about given up when I matched with my now wife, we went for drinks, had a great time and have been together since.
Haven't you been on OLD long enough to know it's very unlikely to pan out with the first one, so you should keep the other on the back burner?
And it'd give them something to talk about as well.
once you’re past your mid-thirties, there’s a reason that most people are on an online dating site and they’re not suitable for a long term relationship
You’re doing better than a friend of my wife, who matched with her controlling ex.
These seem to be far more connected than they might be?
I think there are a lot of people who are attracted to "like my ex except ..."
Can we please have more positive stories? Some of you are scaring me and I had almost plucked up the courage to start OLD 🙂
I'm 62. Its very rare to meet new folk at my age and I have specific things ( keen cyclist but know how to party, no tories and must be eco friendly) I would need in a new partner reducing the pool further. OLD is really my only option but stop making it sound so scary 🙂
Well I guess in reference to my above post is a positive, as said I met my now wife through Tinder, we were chatting for a few weeks, I'd not long been catfished so was adamant that we meet up for a coffee before a proper date for those reasons exactly and so I could have an escape plan, so she facetimed me to prove that she was in the fact the person in her photos, we hit it off and were on facetime for probably 2 hours and we agreed to go out for a proper date the end of that week and go for some drinks at a few cocktail bars.
I'm one of these people who doesn't really get nervous but as soon as I walked into the bar and locked eyes with her I immediately didn't know what to say or even how to stand and position myself I felt awkward and nervous as, felt like I was punching well above my weight and I'll say her pics didn't do her justice I was thinking to myself "oh my god she's actually beautiful, what do I say, what do I talk about, I was 2 minutes late have I ruined my chances, how should I stand at the bar?". We drank the night away and laughed like I haven't laughed before, I stayed at hers, she took me for a mcdonalds breakfast in the morning before dropping me off and the rest is history.
She lost her mother 3 weeks later who was a massive support figure in her life and whilst going through the turmoil that caused she gave me the option to walk away and said she would understand if I didn't want to be around her whilst she deals with it all, I told her if I was going through the same thing I would appreciate someone to stick around even to be a distraction and take my mind off things even if eventually it didn't work which I did, it did work out and a year later we moved in together, 6 months later engaged, another year later married.
We've got a dog together, a house, fruit and veg growing in the garden and we're both as happy as muck, I didn't think people like her existed and she said the same about me so we're very well matched and very lucky. She's my best friend as well as my partner.
So how's that for a positive story 😛
I’m 62. Its very rare to meet new folk at my age
It's easily solved though. Go and do something social that's different to what you're currently doing. Do new things = meet new people. If you choose the right things then women will outnumber men, although I'd caution against doing something just to meet women, you'll come across as a bit creepy.
Ah that's lovely @eatmorepizza. I agree with most of overshoots points but please guys if you're the middle/older aged demographic ignore the 3 dates shag point. Older woman might like a little more time to get comfortable with a new man than that before diving into the potentially complicated world of sex in later life during peri or post menopause. Though everyone is different.
TJ another positive for you. Met my civil/life partner on POF(does that still exist?) 12 years ago. Best 1st date ever. Met up in my fav cosy pub. Talked so much I lost my voice the next day. 2nd date was 2 days later. Walk on the Downs and introduced my young black lab which sealed the deal. Moved in together a year later and have grown closer and more solid with each passing year.
It is really scary and takes time (years maybe)and practice. Don't expect instant results and don't lose faith if things don't work out just have a break and restart when you have the energy.
Ta chaps
Only as much as any place full of random people is.
Not true.
People who have a secure attachment type are more likely to be out of the online dating pool, because they tend to make strong, stable relationships.
People who have anxious or avoidant attachment types are more likely to be over represented because they tend to have fragile relationships that don't last.
It gets worse as you get older.
You think I talk crap, I think you talk crap. Hey ho, who's right, who's wrong? We'll have to agree to disagree.
Met someone on Bumble. Now we're married.
I have just been to lunch with an online date. Perhaps avoid first dates on a Monday daytime would be part of my advice!
I dont know if it was the weather, the mindset I was in 'cos of -its Monday but reality and expectations could not have been further apart! Oversold on the photos and bio for sure 😀
Oh well back to Sq1 😀
Crikey and people wonder why more women don't post on the forum? This thread really encapsulates why! and why if I'm ever single again I'll be staying that way!
You made the right decision and that shows it won't take long until you find someone else genuine. For positive stories, I met most of my ex's online, its not exactly time productive/conducive to a relationship to walk up to somebody in a supermarket to say 'are you single? do you want kids? do you mind if I'm obsessed with cycling and will have more tools than you?'. My now husband I met on POF and hopefully this will be happily ever after! I also had plenty of other dates in preparation for meeting this one, none of them were weirdos.
Can we please have more positive stories? Some of you are scaring me and I had almost plucked up the courage to start OLD
I met my now wife on Fitness Singles...
Can we please have more positive stories? Some of you are scaring me and I had almost plucked up the courage to start OLD 🙂
I started up again 4 years ago after a 17 year relationship (I'm 50 now). Took a while off first to sort of work on myself, work out what i wanted and so on.
In the first couple of years i turned around 100 good matches (and 2 or 300 terrible ones) into around 20 dates, 4 of those turned into short term relationships (2-6 month bracket) before we came up against some sort of an insurmountable issue, remembering that i'm still of an age where dating includes interactions with kids and potentially obnoxious/cheating/manipulative/abusive exes, plus issues around trust etc. You should be a long way past that!
And one that i dated for near enough 2 years (until Christmas). That ended because she wanted another child, as she's quite a bit younger than me. I do not want more children.
So, another 50 or so matches/conversations since just before easter, 7 or 8 dates, nothings stuck past first or second date though. Made 2 friends out of those dates though, so that's not bad. One recent date went very well, but she's off to New York then LA for a minimum two months with work, which may extend up to Christmas, so that's a no go! The other one i'm seeing again on Wednesday, we clicked very well indeed. My only concern there is that she shares a break room at the University Hospital with one of my best mates wives...
Having online dated on and off for best part of 5 years, as an over 30 (just), my advice is not to bother pursuing dates or even ongoing conversation with someone if you're not feeling it after a day or two of chatting and are having to convince yourself they might be alright.
But, if you are feeling it, meet them ASAP (in a non creepy/pressured way) as good early impressions over messaging/phone calls can be highly misleading, and it's quite deflating to meet someone after weeks of chat only to realise there's nothing there when you meet in person and/or they're not as advertised...
100% to that, ask to meet the day you match, dont invest 6 hours of your time either, do something that gives the option of an out, but potential for the date to continue..
And use Hinge. Its many many more times as effective as bumble or tinder for getting a date Im finding. I can find that as soon as I unpause my profile I can find another match that can be turned into a date within a day or two.
Last time I did OLD I ended up with 4 kids.
You're doing it wrong. Did someone tell you that Roblox was an online dating site?
Ta for the hopeful stories folks. I'm not quite so scared now.
And use Hinge.
Hugely dependent on where you live. Round here there are about 9 people using it.
Last time I did OLD I ended up with 4 kids.
You’re doing it wrong. Did someone tell you that Roblox was an online dating site?
Failed to follow @Cougar's advice and forgot their wellies 🤷🏼♂️
I have just been to lunch with an online date.
Hold on, OP, you started this with Friends #1 & #2. Is this one of them or a previously undeclared Friend #3?
No, this is a different one 😀
I met my girlfriend on Tinder in 2016. I'd had almost a year of 'OLD bingo' some amazing dates, some not so amazingand the occasional absolute mentalist.
Anyway, what worked for me was to go in with zero expectations. When we met, I'd had a good few months away from dating, was fairly content being single and thus went on our first date with a very relaxed outlook. 7 years on, I met my best friend on that date.....and we're getting married in 4 weeks time.
OLD can be a bit mad, but it's the thought of trying to meet someone in real life that actually fills me with terror 😳
Last time I did OLD I ended up with 4 kids.
Did you not work out what was causing it?
Been with my oh I met on tinder for getting near 6 years now.
I found my current partner on Tinder.
That was a bloody awkward conversation.
I seem to have been lucky to only have one slightly strange woman message me and one fanny picture!
"lucky"?
Got a date tomorrow with someone 16 years my junior. I really don’t know what to expect.
Oh, you do.
