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Can I have a swift rant? Currently living with MIL until our buyers and sellers get their acts together (which is another rant in itself!). Was supposed to be for less than a month but now looks like we'll be here 'til mid-December (if our buyers finally complete!).
MIL flat out dislikes me. That's fine, I can live with that but the problem is, she can't keep it to herself. The second she's through the door, she finds something to pick a fight about. I'm currently doing all the housework and 90% of childcare before and after school - this will stop soon as I have job interviews lined up (Asda tomorrow, oh joy).
She's just so ****ing rude - treats my wife and I like children, constantly undermines our parenting in front of our four year old and can't ask for anything in a normal, civilised fashion. All requests / complaints are either a full on attack, or made in a VERY loud voice from another room, speaking to herself ("I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH BUT IT'D BE NICE TO SEE THE PATTERN ON MY CARPET UNDER ALL THIS DOG HAIR" for instance, despite hoovering very thoroughly, just before she comes home).
I *get* that it's her home and she's had wife and son staying since February and now me for two weeks, upsetting her routines but we are bending over backwards to please her and I'm slowly realising that's an impossibility. She wouldn't hear of us renting and insisted on us coming to stay.
The tension and deeply unpleasant atmosphere are rubbing off on the wee man too - his behaviour has nosedived. Wife and I are enforcing strict manners, tidiness etc but MIL can't help butting in. When he apologises for minor infractions, he gets, "Weel, ye dinnae SOUND very sorry to me - no story at bedtime! (I do the bedtime story)".
My lip is literally painful from biting it so I've decided that as soon as the first pay cheque comes in, I'm renting a room in a shared flat - it's either that or there's going to be an almighty argument - I don't mind falling out with her but am keeping myself in check for the sake of future familial relations. Currently kneeling on our bedroom floor, working on the computer without a desk because she claims the computer will get hot and burn her table - I was getting it out at 9am and putting it away before she came home at 1pm so she never even sees the bloody thing. She really is going out of her way to make life unpleasant 🙁
Just as an example...
MIL - "How's the washing coming on?"
Me - "Oh, I've brought in the stuff that was dry and left some damp stuff on the line for a bit"
"Aye, but how's it coming on?"
(confused) "Er, I've brought some in and left some out"
"Aye but it cannae be dry"
"Well, I only brought the dry stuff in (smiling nervously)"
"Aye but it's NAE DRY - IT CANNAE BE!"
"I did check it prett..."
"IT'S NAE DRY - THAT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE. I'M NAE ARGUIN' ABOOT THIS!"
It's all at about this level of nonsense.
Anyway, rant over, sorry! There is probably light at the end of the tunnel but if our buyers drop out, we're royally ****ed!
Just kill her, you know you want to.
She's Welsh, that's your problem.
Can I have a swift rant?
You said 'swift' but that went on a bit. 2/10
Why argue? Just smile and ignore it. It's what I do with my mother.
Only problem comes when she's actually asked me a direct question and I can't recall what it was!
Do you still get pudding?
You know your wife will turn into her mother sure as eggs is eggs don't you?
Credit card and live in a hotel for a month.
What did your wife have to say on the matter?
MIL - "How's the washing coming on?"
Me - "[s]Oh, I've brought in the stuff that was dry and left some damp stuff on the line for a bit[/s] Fine"
Ad-lib with 'I don't know' as appropriate
You're welcome
I was with MIL until the comment about the pc burning her table, hahahaha seriously!
Get her drunk. Let her try and be arsey whilst hungover. Maybe introduce dog and little one to the chase granny game. You know, just to make her feel wanted and all that.
dangeourbrain - Member
You know your wife will turn into her mother sure as eggs is eggs don't you?
Happy to report that my wife is almost the opposite of her mum (so far...).
Weeksy, if I had the means, I'd be off.
Cha****ng, my wife also gets bollocked despite being as close to a model daughter / mum as it's possible to be. So she's also getting a bit frayed round the edges but like me, is just grinning and bearing it.
Senor J - pudding? I wish!! It's starvation rations despite us paying 3/4 of the groceries bill. Everything's accounted for, so I've taken to keeping a few packets of digestives in my room. Made the mistake of having a peanut butter sandwich after (my tiny) tea one night and MIL got all offended and huffy for a few days.
My son has just 'got rid' of his future MIL. Stayed with him for 3 weeks while waiting for stuff to get done on their new house (over the road from my lad)
She was like, 'eeh Mark, you need to tidy this/do that/sweep this & clean that' My lad just said, 'Had ya jets there Shirley, (she's called Sheila but he calls her Shirley) I'll just pop down the solicitors to check the deeds for the house AND SEE WHO'S ****ING NAME'S ON IT! 😆
Dangerbrain is correct.
Run away. 😉
Unfortunately it’s her house so you have to suck it up while you’re there, but as soon as you move into your house get ready to lay a new patio.
Fine Ad-lib with 'I don't know' as appropriate
Just smile and ignore it. It's what I do with my mother.
^^^^^^^^^
Sound advice.
Sympathy for you all, it'll be over soon.
Spike her drink with valium
Remind her, that when the time comes, you'll decide which care home she ends up in.
Ha! Thanks to all. Nipping out for a loaf of bread as I've had eight slices for breakfast / lunch - have to stuff my face and replace everything daily before she gets home at 1pm. If I don't, I'm ravenous by about 4pm.
Sounds like my mother
me thinks the lady doth protest too much.
she.
wants.
you.
Don't know if it's any help but my MIL is ace, as is the FIL.
As a side issue I once 'entertained' my old long term partners Mum after we'd split up. 😉
She suffering from OCD Or anxiety control freak.
Either put up with it, ignore her or move out.
My own Mother is like that and my Father loses his temper.
I booked her a psychiatrist. Diagnosed OCD and anxiety due to back pain - workshops on how to deal with pain without abusive behaviour.
I would move out personally. Why lose your health and sanity.
Buy her a power kite, that would cheer anyone up.
let me know if you can get ant 241 deals on getting MIL's taken out (by a hitman) (no not for a meal)
When you do get your own place go no contact for at least 6 months. Take your son out somewhere else or on holiday on her special occasions like her birthday 'oh sorry we've already booked to go away that weekend' just to be petty.
Are you buying somewhere nearby and if so ...... why?
let the old bag fester by herself.
Frankenstein - Member
I would move out personally. Why lose your health and sanity.
Oh, we fully intend to. Offer accepted on the new house but they keep putting the completion date back. And our buyers are dragging their heels but hopefully, they complete on Friday so at least we'll have the money for the new place.
Are you buying somewhere nearby and if so ...... why?
let the old bag fester by herself.
1) Yes.
2) I ask myself the same question daily.
I do have a lot of sympathy for her - she used to be just about OK to know, if not to live with but her husband died about three years ago and she's been a bit weird ever since. If it was up to me alone, we'd live very, very, very far away.
Probably best to suck it up and hope your sale/purchase gets sorted ASAP.
As a slight aside we have issues with my MIL undermining authority with our kids - Granny doesn't always know best - f***in' annoying!
It's because your wheeling your uncleaned bikes over her axminster and keeping them in your bedroom. And airing your bibshorts in the kitchen.
If Not, do that
I too have great in-laws. It’s my mum that’s a PITA. I moved about 90 miles away and that seems to have done the trick.
funkmasterp - Member
I too have great in-laws. It’s my mum that’s a PITA. I moved about 90 miles away and that seems to have done the trick.
My folks are moving back here to Aberdeen too - it's going to be a lovely cosy family affair... Actually, I get on very well with my folks (perhaps because they've always lived nine hours away).
Credit card and live in a hotel for a month.
I'd say the same. I know you said you couldn't afford it but if you can't you'll just have to suck it all up. Nothing will change your MIL 🙁
Hopefully having a rant on here has got things off your chest a bit and relieved some pressure.
If she's going to be a PITA regardless of what you do, you may as well give her a good reason to be annoyed with you.
Ask her what the issue is?
Leave some old peoples homes brochures around the place..
Move furniture around while she's out and deny all knowledge.
Make up a new name for your son (with his help) and insist he's always been called that.
Add a few mm to her walking stick every day (the twit's style) and convince her she's shrinking..
greet her every time she comes home with a great big kiss and a hug. Say you've missed her.
Take up transvestism with her clothes and cook dinner wearing heels and fishnets.
Tricky one. Never mind 2 4 1 deals.. plenty of us here for group hitman deal.
My MIL is disabled and now on her own as she mithered my FIL to death.
She isn't too bad but you can't go round to just visit. You get jobs to do.. She will constantly phone when something goes wrong. It's usually the heating is 1 degree to warm or too cold. She won't alter the thermostat herself even though she can get to it.
Just get a bit sarchastic. Take the piss a little. That washing issue tell her to get off her bum if it's not good enough.
MIL - "How's the washing coming on?"
Me - "Oh, I've brought in the stuff that was dry and left some damp stuff on the line for a bit"
"Aye, but how's it coming on?"
(confused) "Er, I've brought some in and left some out"
"Aye but it cannae be dry"
"Well, I only brought the dry stuff in (smiling nervously)"
"Aye but it's NAE DRY - IT CANNAE BE!"
"I did check it prett..."
"IT'S NAE DRY - THAT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE. I'M NAE ARGUIN' ABOOT THIS!"
"Ok, check it for yourself and if you don't think its dry you can put it back on the line. Thanks for being concerned"
Then walk away......
Be overly nice (not sarcastic) but put the ball back in their court, make the only solution to her problem an action she has to do herself.
The wife and I sometimes feel sorry for the Mil as well... but then she goes and proves us right.
The other week the Mrs and I were away for a cheeky 48 hours without the kids (who were at my parents) que the wife getting a narky text message. Last year the same thing happened, but it was me who received the text... "Do you and Sara argue about me alot?" ... (Bear in mind I can count on one hand texts between us)... No, you old witch, we both think the same ... I should have replied.
Actually to be fair she doesn't just wait until those weekends... the wife's Bday, kids bdays or mine tend to be "celebrated" by the MiL being a pain in the arse .... She has to be the centre of attention by any means... It's wholly predictable.
Well her loss... the night before we got the text this last time we were in discussions of how to sort Xmas for the Mil benefit ... no longer.
Shock tactics needed..
Just tell her to shut the **** up when no one else is in earshot ..then vehemently deny it when she complains ..
She has your balls in a vice now so what have you got to lose ..?
Ro5ey - MemberThe wife and I sometimes feel sorry for the Mil as well... but then she goes and proves us right.
The other week the Mrs and I were away for a cheeky 48 hours without the kids (who were at my parents) que the wife getting a narky text message. Last year the same thing happened, but it was me who received the text... "Do you and Sara argue about me alot?" ... (Bear in mind I can count on one hand texts between us)... No, you old witch, we both think the same ... I should have replied.
Actually to be fair she doesn't just wait until those weekends... the wife's Bday, kids bdays or mine tend to be "celebrated" by the MiL being a pain in the arse .... She has to be the centre of attention by any means... It's wholly predictable.
Well her loss... the night before we got the text this last time we were in discussions of how to sort Xmas for the Mil benefit ... no longer.
**** me - do we have the same MIL????
Mine's always treated the kids as a pissing contest between her and my folks.