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Playing a game with myself on the motorway this morning which I though I'd extend to STW. So what mid life crisis car/Dads Taxi with the suggested brief:
a) Its Sporty, grrrr
b) Its thought to be attractive to the object of your sexual preference at the School/Sports kids drop off
c) Is practical for Dads hobby, lets say biking in this instance, and reliable.
d) Surfs the motorways in comfort in work time
e) Doesn't cost more than £10k.
?
Subara estate jobbie thing.

mini moke should suit.

That's tough. Sporty, practical and £10k
Haven't checked prices recently, E46 or E90 M3 maybe?
I would have said Audi RS4 but the £10k bit kills it
Oh my gosh - how many times!!! Rover 75 Estate diesel. Meets all the criteria.....especially B.
Most requirements are mutually exclusive. B isn't even A Thing 😀
Practical means big to me. Doesn't work with sporty. Sporty doesn't work with motorway cruising.
This is clearly an automotive N+1 situation.
Legacy/Saab 9-5 Aero/S4 Avant for the sensible one. Depending on choice of that, you'll have 4-8k left over for the sporty/fun one. At which point the world is your oyster. If you're seeking the approval of an object of desire, then a classic is often the non threatening, non compensating choice.
Something like a GT6/MGB, a really nice Mk1 MR2, a mk1 mx5, take your pick really!
B) is incompatible with c) and d)
Unless the required reaction is "ooh that person looks sensible, reliable and will be a good provider"
RS6 🙂
"ooh that person looks sensible, reliable and will be a good provider”"
oh he looks like James May ?
b) Its thought to be attractive to the object of your sexual preference at the School/Sports kids drop off
Be specific as the type of vehicle depends on the answer - are you after the type of school mum who...
a) swallows
b) wears a latex glove before touching your member
🙂
Be specific as the type of vehicle depends on the answer – are you after the type of school mum who…
a) swallows
b) wears a latex glove before touching your membe
Either sounds OK 🙂
One day, you will succumb.. enter the world, forget the badge posturing and lace curtain twitching..
Can be had <8k and cover all your requirements (I found MOAB one on eBay the other day for £6900)

https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.co.uk%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F232496084552
Excellent. 1 out of 5 met.
Antithesis of the other 4 acheived.
I reckon I hit 4/5 on K’s requirements scale.. guess which one my choice doesn’t achieve..
Alfa Brera. Possibly struggles with C), but might manage.
Mid life crisis cars shouldn't have a sensible budget
RS6

GTO obviously. Hatchback for bike loading... nice to look at... fast... less than £10k.
I think he should just get the Audi and have done with it.

Porsche 944 should do the trick. My 924 was £1400, cruised to Stuttgart and back with bikes on the roof and a boot full of camping gear, it will take a child seat in the back, it looks sporty (it isn't, hence my recommendation for a 944) and we had at least two lots of pretty young women take photos of us in traffic jams (though that might have been the moustache I grew for the trip). Although my wife found it terrifying.
Also, a 944 will make you money.
As above RS4 ..but while it would be possible to get one for 10k it's age and mileage would rule it out ..
Not really bothered about the other criteria ..and I'm way past mid life ..but as a last hurrah that car has been talked about ...( 15 year old son is fairly adamant that is what we are getting !! )
As a fully qualified middle aged person I can tell you the way to a woman's heart is with a car perfected for the tip run!
Show me where an rs4 is 10 grand.

4.2 V8 Supercharged Range Rover anyone?
Less than £10K
All boxes ticked.
Davey boy etc.
A fairly quick search pulled up one at 12k at a dealers 2007 with 146k mileage..Im sure with a bit more research I could find one privately for 10k ..but like I said ..age & mileage would rule it out ..and I'm not here to find one for you ..
Have a look yourself !
Crew cab Toyota hilux , keep thinking I should buy a pick up to replace my van and scratch the mid life crisis itch. Failing that a Massey ferguson 35 which probably fails to meet a few of the op criteria
Some sort of Alpina estate - B10 V8?
Given that you can get a bike onto just about anything, I'd say stretch the budget ever so slightly and get a Lotus Elise. After 06 they come with Toyota engines and are totally reliable. I ran one as a daily driver for a couple of years and would have another in a heartbeat. I had the 111R with the touring pack. 189hp gives a sub 5 second 0-60, it's happy cruising or thrashing, I found it as good as anything else I've owned on long journeys (I regularly do an 800 mile trip to my folks in Ireland). One of the cheapest cars to run I've owned as well. Fully comp insurance was £200, dealer servicing is Toyota prices, cheap tyres if you ignore the Lotus branded stuff (I ran Toyo Proxes).
My current drive is a Caddy 2.0 Highline. Chipped to 180hp, lowered and bigger wheels.
Playing with myself on the motorway this morning which I though I’d extend to STW. So what mid life crisis car/Dads Taxi with the suggested brief:
a) It's restrained and tasteful rather than being some naff, wide-boy, penis substitute with a huge spoiler and impractical low profile tyres that cost £500 a corner to replace.
b) It's discrete enough that the object of your secret passion at the school gates will not dismiss you as an attention-seeking knob. (please don't tell Mrs BWD about this one)
c) It has a boot.
d) Can cruise at speeds up to 80mph without exploding.
e) Doesn’t cost more than £1k.
?
Well-sorted RX-7?
@BWD
I think you'll get arrested if you continue to play with yourself on the motorway.
Might as well go with BB's suggestion - I just gave one back after 80k trouble free miles and it was surprisingly good. Could still have some fun hustling it down a country road for up to 60 seconds before catching the next car. The Passat GTE I have now is nicer to drive but doesn't get me home any faster. If I was spending my own money I'd seriously consider a Zafira tourer if only for the bloody comfy seats.
As for B we're over 40 so invisible to the opposite sex anyway, you're only fooling yourself!
RS6. But it blows the £10k budget.
Or a T5, again blows the budget, but it will win the sports day and the Yummy Mummy's approval. If that's your thing.
Lets face it, it's going to be a big estate car and without the sporty excitement. The midlife crisis bit will promote you from invisible to **** anyway.
I think you’ll get arrested if you continue to play with yourself on the motorway.
I just wanted to extend it to STW. Nowt wrong with sharing.
Bmw m3, but you wont find one for 10k i reckon
Well-sorted RX-7?
He said reliable!
I think if this thread process one thing, it's that people's definitions of 'sporty' vary quite considerably.
When I needed a midlife crisis car 19 years ago I had to have a Mk1 Lotus Elise. It was a joy until I could no longer afford to keep it, servicing, insurance etc. Would not tick boxes C and D but you might get a high mileage Mk1 for under 10K (probs knackered tho)
As much as I love them I don't think the RS4/RS6 options qualify. The OP specified it had to be attractive to whomever you want to be attracted to you and these cars are stealth wagons, so to the untrained eye....i.e. most people, they look like the normal hum drum dull as ditchwater Audi A4 and A6 Avants. And the space in an A4 Avant is crap, not much bigger or more convenient than an normal hatchback so they're not even that practical, so fail on two of the OP's criteria. Also the cost of running and fixing an RS4/RS6 Is just simply unaffordable for most people.
It's a midlife crisis at the end of the day so something a bit niche/rare and/or interesting. I'd compromise on the practicality element as that is what roof racks and bike racks are for. I like the 944 idea as I used to have one and it was brilliant....but finding decent ones these days is hard and more expensive as they're appreciating in value and getting some spare parts for them is getting tricky and becoming more expensive...one reason why I got rid of mine. And also not many have A/C and those that do the A/C system will either not be functioning or not functioning well and to fix them is eye wateringly expensive.....and with the large glass tailgate they act as green houses on wheels when the sun is out and looking like a sweaty mess is not conducive to looking cool or attractive.
It's a tough one...not sure what the answer is. The Alfa is probably along the right lines though I'd say....but only the v6 models.
Playing with myself
I just wanted to extend it
Well, they do kind of go hand in hand. So to speak.
a) It’s restrained and tasteful rather than being some naff, wide-boy, penis substitute with a huge spoiler and impractical low profile tyres that cost £500 a corner to replace.
b) It’s discrete enough that the object of your secret passion at the school gates will not dismiss you as an attention-seeking knob. (please don’t tell Mrs BWD about this one)
c) It has a boot.
d) Can cruise at speeds up to 80mph without exploding.
e) Doesn’t cost more than £1k.
In the greatest STW "what I've got is ace" style you need a Saab 9-3 or 9-5 estate.
Been running a 9-3 estate 2L turbo petrol for the last 4 years, debadged, discreet, loads of power, not too bad on a run (35mpg aveage), takes 3 bikes, loads of cup holders and the legendary night mode on the display for late night driving. Available for peanuts, if it breaks just scrap it and buy another.