Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: He wasn't peeling well!
Scottish one, and my favourite joke:
Q: What's ET short for?
A: Cos he's only got wee legs...
One from the Andy Cameron show on Radio Scotland in the 80's, stopped the show for a bit!
Wee Lad: what vegetable makes your eyes water?
AC: Och, that's an easy one- an onion?!
Wee Lad: You've obviously not been hit in the nuts by a turnip!!
What do you call a 3 legged donkey?
A wonky donkey
What do you call a 3 legged donkey dressed as a cowboy
A honky-tonky wonky donkey
What do you call a 3 legged donkey dressed as a cowboy playing a badly tuned piano?
A plinky-plonky honky-tonky wonky donkey
What do you call a 3 legged donkey dressed as a cowboy playing a badly tuned piano with a sexual perversion?
A winky ****y plinky-plonky honky-tonky wonky donkey
OK I may have just moved outside of the target audience...
What do you call a deer with no eyes
No eye deer
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs
Still no eye deer
Aww beat me to it with this:
andrewh - MemberKnock knock
Who's there?
Interupting cow
Interup
MOOOO!
A pal's wee niece just doesn't get it "No Uncle Graeme let me finish!!"
On a similar vein, from Bad Granpa:
Bad Granpa - Go on, ask me what the key to comedy is...
Grandson - What's the key t....
Bad Granpa - TIMING!! ahahaaaaa
What do you call a grumpy cow?
Mooo-dy!
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A Carrot!
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall
damn
