Cougar,for this I would suggest loosing the mobile phone,just carry hard cash with no wallet and just generally be a cave man.

Cougar

bigblackshed - Member
Man bags.

It's either a brief case, laptop bag or a rucksack. Maybe at a push a messenger bag if it's a proper one and your on a bike. If it looks like a woman's handbag, it's a handbag.

Even a Tesco carrier bag is better than your wife's handbag.

And another thing.

****s who quote themselves. 😮

Right now: iTunes. Why does Apple have to make everything so bloody difficult?

Android - plug in the tablet, drag and drop the avi onto it, done.

Apple - plug in the tablet, wait for iTunes to fire up, work out which tab to use, discover avi not supported, download decoder, try again, add video to playlist and finally...

buying tickets getting charged a service fee and then a credit card fee and then getting the option of having tickets posted for a massive fee or having to pay a slightly less massive fee which seems to represent the cost of renting half the internet and paying the bar bill for a code writers convention in Honolulu so I can print them at home

The noise of a spoon scraping against an empty yoghurt pot.

Alot. This annoys me way more than it should. I see this has been extended to abit these days. It shouldn't bother me but it makes me think the writer is a total tool.

Audi drivers

Grown men riding their bike (usually a piece of crap BSO) on the pavement.

Local pub with a bunch of signs saying they are open "allday". They are two separate words you illiterate numpties!

Things being spelt wrong. Such as last night at a charity quiz, they had a 'raffel'. I mean come on, how illiterate is this Country.

People that go into a cafe/coffee shop and say "can I GET" instead of proper British language like "please could I have" .

It's only a short step to "I'll take".

Leaving the paper on top of a tub of margarine. It's got a plastic lid, why do you leave the paper on as well?

The companies that phone me up at least once a week, and say "Have you heard of Google?"

The autocorrect on this iPad which keeps wanting to turn "Scotland" into "a scotland" and similar. WTF?

The way people say (out loud) WTF instead of swearing properly. If you're too wussy to swear in case your mother might hear, say "drat" or "dang" or "poot" like our parents did.

In fact anyone who says text speak out loud.

Gee Whiz! I thought I was turning into a cranky, grumpy middle aged man, but have got this far ^^^ I reckon I could be the next CEO of the Samaritans.
Lolz

Actually, bikes grind my gears, specifically manufacturers who dick about with standards of fittings etc meaning even dealers can't source the spare part you need.

nealglover - Member
So where exactly are you supposed to keep your coins, then?

If your skirt doesn't have pockets, just leave it loose in the bottom of your handbag ?

This made me laugh - alot. I proper lolled. 🙂

[quote=toppers3933 ]People who say pants when they mean trousers.

All septics then? Good call.

Things being spelt wrongly. Especially loose.

Coffee cups with the word "coffee" written on them. Bread bins with the word "bread" written on them. etc.

[img] [/img]

she had to slow down every time she had to dip her lights

Maybe she slowed down because the distance you can see to be clear halves on dipped lights, sat nav or no sat nav? I'm much more annoyed by people who don't adjust their speed based on what they can see.

But I do share your irritation: people who put their sat nav right in the middle of their windscreen drive me nuts.

Misuse of: till, advise, poles & planks.

PDW,

I hate to disappoint but the woman was driving on a really well lit ringroad, you could see for miles,

I also encountered someone from work the other day on the route out from the factory, same thing, she just couldn't drive without her main beam on full, every time a car came toward her she just stamped on the brakes after her lights dipped (car had auto lights ), the main beam is Bi xenon on that specific car and despite me sitting well back from her and also being able to see a good 500 metres up that particular road she just couldn't see past her bonnet, no sat nab this time, just poor driving

I'm much more annoyed by people who don't adjust their speed based on what they can see.

+1 the amount of people (more women ime) who dont seem to see either easing off the accelerator or (heaven forbid) actually slowing or braking when there appears to something unusual/potentially hazardous ahead.
Its as if adjusting speed based on conditions isnt an option. Driving at the same speed in bad weather/fog/ice etc but with every light on thinking somehow ABS etc will resolve all their problems

Pedestrians with poor lane discipline, e.g. people who can't walk in a straight line, or walk diagonally along a straight corridor, or walk three abreast, or don't hold their lane going round a corner...

Work mates who come into the office saying they feel really ill and generously share their viruses and bacteria with everyone, coughing and sneezing all over the place.

Having just got back from the pub..... Blokes with great fat guts but t shirts which don't quite fit showing that lovely overhang. Same bloke then sits down with too low slung jeans. Sitting with the top of a sweaty crack on full view is not a good look. Me and the wife made the usual comment that we should of brought the bikes as we'd of had somewhere to park it.

^ Use of "of".

Work mates who come into the office saying they feel really ill and generously share their viruses and bacteria with everyone, coughing and sneezing all over the place.

... whilst proudly proclaiming, "I haven't had a day off work in twenty years!!" Yeah, but every ****er else has because of you, Nobby.

I agree about the reduced effectiveness of Swarfega.. And it is bloody expensive. Try laundry power to de-gunk your hands!

Women at cashpoints. Do you really need to print out a balance then a receipt every time you take out a tenner?
Supermarket 'browsers' who block the whole aisle.
Pub/restaurant staff who hand over your drink by holding the top of the glass.
My local Spar, who won't sell more than one box of painkillers at a time but are happy to let you buy paracetamol, walk out the door and straight back in and buy ibuprofen.
People who 'have' to use a fuel pump on the same side as the tank and block the forecourt waiting for one when there are 3 free on the 'wrong' side.

People who imagine there are "lanes" for pedestrians. Take a look at the pavement. See any lane markings? Traffic lights? No.

toppers3933 » People who say pants when they mean trousers.

Toppers. What do you wear under your trousers? Under trousers? 🙂

I always fall back on haitch on these threads but it seems to have been put to bed earlier.

 

People who say "can i get" instead of "can I have"

People who say "can i have" instead of "may I have"

^ THIS - Definitely THIS!

My general, cantankerous response to "can I have?" is usually – "I don't know, can you?" Confuses the kids no-end.

😆

Things being spelt [b]wrong[/b]. Such as last night at a charity quiz, they had a 'raffel'. I mean come on, how illiterate is this Country.

QED.

Personal Development Plans.

[quote=slowoldman said]Personal Development Plans.

Shudders....

Letters from the bank saying they've been 'urgently' trying to get in touch to discuss 'important' matters about your account.

When they actually just want to sell you insurance or con you in to upgrading to a 'premier' account with no discernable benefits, and they will charge you £25 a month for!?

Letters from the bank saying they've been 'urgently' trying to get in touch to discuss 'important' matters about your account.

I used to get phone calls from the bank like that.

"Hi, we're your bank, can you confirm your identity?"

"No, I already know who I am, can you confirm yours?"

"But we need to talk to you urgently about your account!"

"I'm not stopping you; what's it relating to?"

"Oh, we can't tell you until you confirm your identity."

"Bye then."

RLJers but specifically on temporary traffic lights, if it goes red just stop don't sail through because it has time built in so vehicles can clear them. Having my lights go green and have to sit there while a bunch of ignorant selfish twunts keep coming grinds my gears 😮

Something that I see on this forum and it annoys me no end.

You are using [b]pedals[/b] and are [b]pedalling[/b]

You are [i]not[/i] going to [b]Peddle[/b], nor are you [b]peddling[/b].
For F@£ks sake.

One is the use of bike components to propel a bike forwards. The other is a means of going from place to place selling your wares.

I feel annoyed simply writing about it...

These wooden signs/ornaments/wall stencils for the home that tell you what to do

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

They need to

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[img] http://img0.etsystatic.com/016/2/7500104/il_340x270.421211598_dj93.jpg [/img][img] https://img0.etsystatic.com/012/0/6253040/il_340x270.424220534_6jkf.jp g" target="_blank">http://img0.etsystatic.com/016/2/7500104/il_340x270.421211598_dj93.jpg [/img][img] https://img0.etsystatic.com/012/0/6253040/il_340x270.424220534_6jkf.jp g"/> [/img]

Things being spelt wrong. Such as last night at a charity quiz, they had a 'raffel'. I mean come on, how illiterate is this Country.

Not using appropriate punctuation.

Something that I see on this forum and it annoys me no end.

You are using pedals and are pedalling

You are not going to Peddle, nor are you peddling.

Men wearing gloves while shopping. That's what pockets are for.

Below the line comments on local news pages that begin: "Speaking as a Cyclist".

What you mean is you own a bike, a hi-viz and a CTC membership and want to lump us all together like "the drivers".

[img] https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTXfTkvI7qAksPS4WgdSHzRJOhWvCaii-1VM6lsXFSUgWM0DUzvDQ [/img]

In queueing traffic: People who have to get within two feet of the car in front. Then stop, then jerk forward and stop again two feet from the car in front Why?

Why not leave a gap in front of you that you can speed up and slow down in without having to stop, the car behind you might try doing the same and so and so on. Then we might not all be sat around in a big jam every morning for quite so long.

People who are:
Rude
Pompous
Dick heads
or a mixture of the above.

Olive oil and salt works and you get nicely moisturised hands as a bonus

Can I get? Guilty
LOVE letters Guilty
Check my balance before getting cash and get receipt. Guilty
Wandering about on the pavement like a drunk? Guilty
Scarf no coat. guilty

People who don't update their fanfics

I don't care if you've got a life, write the next chapter of your story!!! Grrrr

In queueing traffic: People who have to get within two feet of the car in front.

... and start beeping their horn in standing traffic if they're behind you and you've had the audacity not to move forward a whole yard and then stop again.

People* who get to the till in a shop, hand over the goods and then seem surprised when they're asked to pay for them, resulting in a frantic search for a purse in their handbag.

* when I say people, I definately do NOT mean women**, because the last time I made such a point I was rightly banned as a bad sexist man

** I do though.

Men wearing gloves while shopping. That's what pockets are for.

Probably can't fit hands in as pockets already full of purses

Men with their hands in their pockets = fiddling with their bits

People who don't update their [b]fanfics[/b]

People who read fanfics, instead of books, and then have the audacity to complain about them being amateurish.

People who wait until they are at the cash machine before looking for their card, rather than using the time spent in the queue to do this. Then, when at the cash point, they take ages only to print off a mini statement to decide if they can afford to withdraw cash. After studying the statement they then put their card back in the machine before slowly working their way through the buttons to take out £10.

Then, once this is completed, they carry on standing at the cash machine whist they diligently put the card and money back in their purse. I'm still bloody queuing!

I silently scream.

Men with their hands in their pockets = fiddling with their bits

Sometimes, the bits, they need adjusting. C'est la vie.

Men with their hands in their pockets = fiddling with their bits

Is that and annoyance or just an observation?

You are only jealous as your bits are not so fiddlyable

Pretty much the same as IHN, but Underground/Train ticket barriers.

I tire of peoples inability to use the word tyre when talking about them things that shod your rims.

franksinatra - by 'people' do you definately NOT mean women too? 😉

franksinatra - by 'people' do you definately NOT mean women too?

Definitely not meaning older women. Absolutely not. I do not like to stereotype, particularly about old women at cash points. Absolutely not.

[i]You are only jealous as your bits are not so fiddlyable[/i]

You reckon?

[i]People who read fanfics, instead of books, and then have the audacity to complain about them being amateurish.[/i]

Instead of? You really haven't seen my bookshelves huh? TBF some of them are barely better than Fanfics, and some of them are actually pretty good.

[i]You reckon?[/i]

She's right, you know.

these may have already been said but ...

People who walk/ride along with headphones with music turned up too loud to hear you shouting to say you're behind them, but then shout at you for startling them when you overtake.

People who comment on a forum before reading the rest of it to check if it's already been said! 🙄

People who are unable to aim at (or even near) the bowl in a shared loo, and I'm not just talking number 1s - number 2s and even paper can be liberally scattered around the place. Disgusting filthy people.

People who are unable to aim at (or even near) the bowl in a shared loo

Is that some sort of public school ritual?

These wooden signs/ornaments/wall stencils for the home that tell you what to do

Good work.

Do Yorkie bars still have YORKIE stamped one letter per chunk on them? When I was younger I took great delight in discovering that, with the careful application of a sharp knife on the 'O', one could rearrange the chunks to create your own CRIKEY bar.

[i]one could rearrange the chunks to create your own CRIKEY bar. [/i]

people who use inconsistent references to themselves and/or the third person.

Raspberries.

What's wrong with raspberries? They're lovely.

[quote=emsz ]

You are only jealous as your bits are not so fiddlyable

I think explanation [s]and pictures[/s] is needed 😉

If you haven't worked it out by now, I expect an explanation won't help.

aracer

I think explanation and pictures is needed

[img] [/img]

Mine are commute / train related..

1. People who lean against the middle pole on the tube preventing everyone else from holding on.

2. People who use your chair (on a train - backrest) as a means of lowering themselves into their chair or to help them stand when getting off. Get off my chair and use your leg muscles you lazy brsds!

What Shermar75 said x 1 million!