Just back from five days in the US. My second brain get the worst jet lag you can imagine, and I'm at the absolute upper end of normal frequency (every 2-3 days). After little more than a couple of foreign walnuts, I can concur with the subject of this topic.
BTW I have used the toilets in that Kings Cross pub, but it wasn't me (this time). A £500* poo is not unusual, sadly nor is the need to help it round the bend.
*Weight saving on bikes @ £1/g is the current going rate.
This one time, I had some lurgy or other, I don't remember being constipated but I must have been as I was very bloated around the tummy. Painfully so. This went on for several days and it was uncomfortable, painful even.
Anyhow, one evening when it was really really quite painful, I crawled up the house stairs and found myself on all fours. Leant forward to put my chest on the floor, and farted. For about 15 seconds. Plus follow-ups. The relief was tremendous!
Anyhoo, a few weeks later I was browsing a Readers Digest magazine while waiting for a barber and read about the Childs Pose in yoga and how it saved a man's life when used in a medical setting to release trapped gas. Who needs doctors anyway.
Oh, and almost silent and surprisingly unstinky if you're interested. But it definitely beat releasing a Dreadnaught.
Okay. A decent quality braided USB cable. Yeah I know, cables, 2025... but I still have the need for them. It's my cable too, out of bounds to the kids to charge their tablets with, they get the cheap ones for that. This one is mine, and I can rely on it, it won't let me down. 😎
...as satisfying as inserting a USB cable the right way round the *first time*?
I crawled up the house stairs and found myself on all fours. Leant forward to put my chest on the floor, and farted. For about 15 seconds.
I can relate to this, a few years ago had to go for the camera up the arse, it's ribbed for your pleasure don't you know! Anyway laid in a hospital ward prior to the procedure various people around me were farting which amused me somewhat. Eventually got wheeled into the procedure room and first thing is my abdomen gets inflated by some kind of gas nozzle shoved up my arse, makes it easier for them or something. After everything is done I am taken back out to the ward with a painfully expanded abdomen and told to lie there for a while until the gas escapes before going home. After a painful while nothing had come out and they wanted me gone, nurse told me when you get home get on all fours and get your partner to rub your tummy. OH drove me the 45min home and it was one of the most painful car journeys I've ever had feeling every bump in the road. Once home I got straight onto all fours while OH rubbed my belly, the resulting fart seemed to go on for ever and the relief was instananeous!
What's better than a good poop?
Feeling the need to go again an hour later....."Woah there was mooooooore!!!!"
Oh, I did once have a massive splinter that went in the nail edge on my thumb. After a week of careful squeezing it came out and I was amazed how big the splinter was. Such relief!!!!!
...as satisfying as inserting a USB cable the right way round the *first time*?
What evil is this? First time?
USB cables go in one way. Then it doesn't fit. So you turn it around. Still doesn't fit. Turn it back to how it was. Fits? Huh???
