Let me just start this by saying I'll come across as an ungrateful prick.
But the in laws have bought a bike for a birthday present for the lad. It's heavy and the brakes are honestly terrible I'm not even sure it's safe. He had a frog as his first bike and I think he's got used to v-brakes.
When they said they were getting one I immediately said I didn't want them to, but here we are. It looks pretty good actually but I know he won't enjoy riding it and he's just at the age now where I was looking forward to doing a few blue routes with him.
Anyway, I'm just disappointed and having a rant because no one else will listen. Trying to work out how I'll buy a different one and swap it without them noticing.
Feel for you, I would just hide it in the garage and get him a decent bike as planned. In six months time I’d tell them something vague like the frame broke/he outgrew it and you swapped the components over, or something similarly vague.
I'd tell them and ask if they can take it back and get a refund or you can make some suggestions of bikes you'd like.
But don't immediately assume he will not be wanting to ride it - you might be surprised.
Send them the Frog invoice.
Bikes can be difficult to spot laying on the ground when you reverse out of the driveway...
Bikes can be difficult to spot laying on the ground when you reverse out of the driveway
Dont forget with the lack of dtock in bike shops a lot of bikes are being stolen these days
Sell it pronto and buy a frog one the same colour
I'd just get a decent one for the blue trails and let him use it for messing about on, if it looks cool.
Bikes get stolen every day yknow
Use it as one he can take to the park, leave lying around and basically treat as a 'pub' bike. Then you can get him a decent one as a 'best' bike for days away etc. Then he'll be the same as a 'proper' cyclist with his n+1 collection started.
Just make sure it's visible and he uses it whenever they come to visit.
Use it as one he can take to the park, leave lying around and basically treat as a ‘pub’ bike. Then you can get him a decent one as a ‘best’ bike for days away etc. Then he’ll be the same as a ‘proper’ cyclist with his n+1 collection started.
If he can learn to manual and hop a pig-iron BSO, just think of the skillage on his 'best' bike. Use the gifted one to rag about town, get abused like kids' bikes tend to be, without having to worry so much about it getting pinched if he leaves it propped up in the park.
On the plus side, you did mention your wishes to them prior to getting the bike, speak to them about it (uncomfortable, but just get it out of the way?!?) then return or sell and get something decent.
I am very biased when it comes to this, but buy what you can afford, I will happily spend as much money on my daughters bike as mine, in fact, I would prefer a cheaper bike so she gets a better bike. Although it was expensive, I got my daughter a Hellion 20 when she was six, it’s the best thing I have EVER spent money on. We have already had so many amazing times on it, I can pick her up after school, we head out onto some cool trails, hit some jumps and generally have lots of smiles and the bonding time is priceless. We do stuff she loves that the bike makes possible. I’ve steered some of her friends to switch to better bikes and it made a big difference to how much they want to ride, although even with friends that are three / four years older, they still can’t do the stuff my daughter is very happy doing on the Hellion. From a selfish riding perspective, with her having a decent bike, I also get to do trails that are fun for me too. 🙂
Use it as one he can take to the park, leave lying around and basically treat as a ‘pub’ bike. Then you can get him a decent one as a ‘best’ bike for days away etc.
That's probably the best suggestion, he's using it (for pretty much its intended purpose) the inlaws don't get offended, keeps wear and tear and theft risk minimal for the 'best bike'...
Nobody needs to be told he has a second bike other than him. If it's existence is spotted tell a mini reverse lie, its a cheap old bike to save the one the grandparents bought from the ravages of forest trails...
This kind of behaviour needs nipping in the bud. Just tell them it’s shite and they can have it back for a refund. If you care about their feelings you could try to relate the situation to one of their hobbies, e.g. going fishing but using a plastic net from an arcade.
Otherwise I hope you enjoy entitled grandparents riding roughshod over your wishes for the rest of their lives. (And your lad enjoys riding a shit/unsafe bike) 😀
Use it at home, and have something better for trails. Simple. Then the good bike won't get wrecked being dropped on a curb or at the park.
Ive just given my son my Specialized enduro because Ive treat myself to a new bike, I’m not happy about him riding it round the streets as there’s more than plenty toerags who’d take it from him, wish he had a bso for riding round the doors with his mates and keep the enduro for ‘proper’ biking?
Er, how do we know it’s a ‘ pig-iron BSO‘?
What actually is it? Might be ok for a child, but the Frog/Isla snobbery of this place being an influence! Of course it might be a piece of Argos Catalogue junk, but without actually knowing...
(and what augustuswindsock said - kid’s version of a ‘pub’ bike, eg. ride to school bike?)
If your lad is likely to become a pro, I sympathise. Otherwise I think having a bad bike when young can have its benefits.
I had a BSO until I was 19/20, but I was well into my riding for many years before that.
Having a bad bike but trying to maintain and upgrade it on a meagre budget and with limited knowledge is all part of the fun. I bought lots of “upgrade” parts (mostly anodised blue) and bolted them on. Spent hour after hour adjusting canti brakes and cup and cone bearings. These days, and based on that learning, I can service forks and shocks, mend cars, and make aeroplane parts.
So, you know, don’t dismiss it because it’s crap. It can have other benefits.
My first "ATB" was a BSO, but I loved it. It took me places, gave me adventures. Hi-tensile frame and fork, caliper brakes, 2*5 Shimano Tourney non-indexed drivetrain.
Next bike was slightly less BSO but still not a brand, Shimano 300GS, canti brakes, QR front wheel. I traded it in for a British Eagle with Reynolds frame and range fork, STX/STX RC groupset.
I enjoyed each bike but appreciated the difference each time I moved up.
If he likes it let him ride it, chances are he'll out grow it soon enough and it saves wear and tear on a good bike if you go down the n+1 route.
I'd say it's pretty bad form for the grandparents to step on your toes, they must've known you're a keen cyclist (or do you keep it secret?). Tell them to take it back.
Feel for you, I would just hide it in the garage and get him a decent bike as planned.
I agree with this. Thank them for the bike but still buy your boy the bike you want to. Don't make him miss out! Probably get it ordered now if you can! Just blame COVID for the birthday delay....
Probably wouldn't tell them unless they ask.
If they do ask then just repeat that this is why you didn't want one buying as you had one on order. You know what's good for you own child. They were asked not to buy as specific present so more fool them. They of course won't see it this way so just fudge it!
This is the soft approach. If my friends or family had been told not to buy a bike for my boys and stil produced a shiny BSO then I would just say,
"blimey, he's got a new bike on the way already. Thanks anyway but I don't want it to be a waste of money. Don't worry about exchanging for something else, it's the thought that counts, I just don't want to waste your hard earned! Nightmare, eh! Cuppa?"
Funnily enough, I had the problem of being offered a bike for free from a friend for my oldest. It was a Ben 10 supermarket horror. Their little boy "hardly used it" funnily enough. Just pulled the above "thanks but already another one on the way!" card.
Lol at everybody saying to tell the in laws its sh!t and to give it back.
You know what you need to do, take it with good grace, keep it until its broken, but get your kid a decent bike at the same time.
Trying to work out how I’ll buy a different one and swap it without them noticing.
You don't have to swap it - you're never too young for algebra. N+1.
Yeah, rat bike for bodding about on, no drama if it gets in pinched/trashed, then eh?
You could get your own back at Christmas, you could give them a framed photo of their grandchild on the bike to hang above the fireplace. Look for the most gaudy and hideous frame you can find. Make sure the print is from a phone camera photo so that the resolution is awfull and make sure the bike fills most of the picture frame.
How old is the kid? Whilst us adults wouldn't be seen dead on anything less than a carbon hyperbike, when I was a nipper my bikes all weighed a ton and were usually 3rd hand, and I still loved them.
Let's be honest, kids don't need good bikes. I had a grifter as a kid. It weighed more than the my parents car. And if you look at a pic of them now they look just as bad as the average bso. But guess what, I loved it. So did my mates who had one.
Why not give it to him. If he likes it then great, if not then buy him something else and tell the in-laws it was nicked.
That’s probably the best suggestion, he’s using it (for pretty much its intended purpose) the inlaws don’t get offended, keeps wear and tear and theft risk minimal for the ‘best bike’…
Nobody needs to be told he has a second bike other than him. If it’s existence is spotted tell a mini reverse lie, its a cheap old bike to save the one the grandparents bought from the ravages of forest trails…
I agree with the first part of this but not the second. Why lie? Grown adults have multiple bikes. This your entire argument, it's fine as a hack around town but not fit for purpose on the trails. Hell, I have a BSO for exactly this reason, I don't want to leave a four-figure bike outside a scabby pub.
@tpbiker I lusted after a Grifter for like a decade. A mate had one and by god did he lord it up over us lesser plebs because of it.
I didn't have a bike as a kid, my mum forbade it. She reckoned I was dangerous enough on foot. Somewhat ironically my daily driver - when he deemed fit to allow it - was the aforementioned mate's cast off Boxer. It was an utter deathtrap, in hindsight why his parents allowed it is a shocker. It has no brakes even, we stopped it with a foot on the back wheel. No gran, I have absolutely no idea why my left shoe has such a strange wear pattern.
I didn't actually own a bike at all until my early 20s. My mum was over the moon when I subsequently bought a motorbike...
what bike is it? link us up or show us a picture!
Yep TTIUWP.
When they said they were getting one I immediately said I didn’t want them to
^^^Surely is the point^^^. This is no longer about the bike, this has become a battle of wills. Do you want to be a pawn to your in-laws’ every whim? Nip it in the bud now, or be warned you’ll be off on holiday with them every year to somewhere you don’t want to go*.
*probably a cruise (shudders).
Think the first sentence in the op post sums it up for me.
No need to piss the in-laws off. Maybe just tell them you’ve already bought a bike and ask if they can they get a refund for the bike they bought and instead get some accessories for him. Shorts, jersey, helmet, puncture repair kit, pump etc
This kind of behaviour needs nipping in the bud.
or ...
get some accessories for him. Shorts, jersey, helmet, puncture repair kit, pump etc
I've got a shed half full of puncture repair kits, useless pumps etc. and crap tool kits you wouldn't put near a bike not to mention endless t-shirts, socks with road bikes on.
It's not like gran/mum is loaded so I hate to see her spending money on useless things.
“Trying to work out how I’ll buy a different one and swap it without them noticing.”
If you told them not to buy him a bike then give it back to them. But before doing that, make sure you can get him a better bike, they’re thin on the ground right now!
I agree with the first part of this but not the second. Why lie? Grown adults have multiple bikes. This your entire argument, it’s fine as a hack around town but not fit for purpose on the trails. Hell, I have a BSO for exactly this reason, I don’t want to leave a four-figure bike outside a scabby pub.
Like I said its only half a lie, you are technically saving his grandparent's present from being shaken apart in the woods. Tell the complete truth if you like or omit just enough details to avert some conflict, it's entirely up to you...
Sometimes you want to make a little effort to preserve relationships, being 'honest' is sometimes taken as being a little too blunt and a great way to create some lingering resentment in a family over a relatively minor thing...
Lend it to Sam Pilgrim for a day, should deal with the issue.
you want to make a little effort to preserve relationships, being ‘honest’ is sometimes taken as being a little too blunt
True, but these people are supposed to be close family members. You don't buy bikes / BSOs for people you barely know. You should be able to be honest with them and you don't need to be a dick about it. It's a duplicate present.
Anyway, I have the perfect solution. They're your in-laws, so get your other half to tell them.
You should be able to be honest with them and you don’t need to be a dick about it. It’s a duplicate present.
Despite asking them not to buy him a bike, they bought him a bike. How honest do you need to be ‘I asked you not to buy one and yet you still did, we don’t want it thanks’.
My dad went through a phase of "making" kids bikes, as in scavenging parts and frames and putting them together in different combos and sizes with variable outcomes. He enjoyed it and as far as I can tell they weren't mechanical death traps, but many of the components were supermarket-level when they were new, so tip salvage expectations weren't enormous.
In the end I just honestly told him that I appreciated the offers and effort but I also loved bikes, and I wanted to do the bike thing with my kids myself, even if that would end up costing me more - i wanted it as my thing. He understood and it hasn't been an issue since.
If people know you are a "bike person" they should be able to understand that you want this as your thing with the kids and respect that role, even if they personally wouldn't spend, or worry about, a kids bike as much.
So come on then, OP, tell us what bike it is 😀
Your in-laws have deliberately ignored your clear statement.
Be clear and firm in telling them they ignored what you said and, if the bike is unused, you wish them to return it.
If the bike has been used, tell them you will be replacing it with what you consider to be a more suitable bike.
What does your son say about the bike?
Unless you address this with them directly, it's likely they will continue doing what they want.
What does your wife think and will it cause friction between you and her or between her and her parents?
They might just think that they were being helpful and get super upset if you throw it back in their face, that's the most likely outcome in this scenario unless you tread carefully.
At least post us a picture or tell us what what bike it is so we can confirm or deny your concerns.
If it's really that bad, I guess as some others have suggested, the most diplomatic solution would be if it got 'stolen' or accidentally 'run over by your car' on the drive... Give the BSO to your local bike charity place and then buy him something a bit better.
I totally get where the OP is coming from, and don’t think he’s a dick at all.
But the inlaws will almost certainly think he is, if he mentions it.
Best if it quietly gets stolen and replaced.
1st world problems innit.
It's tricky as things like this can cause problems .. But equally they seem nieve if they know your into bikes and they bought him some cheap junk without consultation.
Look at it on the flip side, for example I have friends who are into fishing and golf, I wouldn't dream of buying them a golf club or some fishing tackle as a present because I would have no idea what I was buying and the chances of them liking it would be pretty much zero if I bought it from argos or sports direct or somewhere like that.
Lack of detail and pics leads me to assume that my idea of a BSO and that of the OP is different.
Specialized Enduro perhaps? 😁
