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That was written from the heart Bradley.. The mother of my two children, and partner of six years left me last Xmas.
She moved on within about a week! 🙂
I couldn't be happier now
I found it helpful to keep on reminding myself that it was my goal and soley my responsibility to get over it.
Keep nudging your thoughts on from the past whenever you catch them wandering.
Be thankful for all the good things you have.
But also let yourself have the occasional sad burst, it's human and helps the process.
Strangely common yet under supported process. It feels like it's nearly killing you. There should be break-up support groups.
I am sorry things went wrong for you. Feeling very bad is not just a guy thing. Situations like this can feel utterly soul destroying. Things do get better the longer time goes on - because eventually you fall out of love with the lost person, but it can be a long hard wait.
I would suggest to anyone that changing your life and environment where possible is a good thing. I found too many familiar things just triggered off memories that made me very sad. Look at where you live, what you do, hobbies and socialising patterns. Change what you can, add in new stuff, stop doing the old stuff. Become a new version of you.
I think I was dogged by so much of my own past for longer than I should have been simply because I was not able to change my environment and life soon enough after things went wrong.
I found other people (family, friends) to be ultra conservative over even small life changes and very discouraging of change or self renewal, but in reflection I think people fear change and to protect themselves will seek to stop others from doing new, different or daring things. So, make changes, things get better eventually even if it seems a hell of a long wait.
For what its worth, I am now glad it did not work out with the love of my life. I adored him for years, but now I can see how selfish he was.
I was in a very similar situation about 4 yrs ago, and it was very tough at first i know it's a cliche but times a good healer, I did what the others suggested went on some dates went out with my mates just generally did what I wanted to do. But we have a young child and I never talked badly about my ex in front of her made sure I spent as much time as I could with the child,and guess what karma came round and bit her on the arse the guy she went off with and moved in with got a mortgage with was playing around with someone else! 4 yrs later she's still living at her mums!
I feel your pain mate,separated from the love of my life in late 2013 and still nowhere near over it yet.My only advice is to try not to torture yourself anymore if possible,its completely normal to think about it constantly but try not to end every though with 'what if?'.Its the past for a reason,accept that it's probably never coming back,enjoy being a Dad to the children and just ride out the time until you begin to feel more over it,because that feeling will come mate.If its any consolation we all go through this stuff at some point,its just your turn to deal with it now unfortunately ! You'll get through it though,we all do eventually.
Maybe immerse yourself in a project,work on sorting things that you don't like about yourself instead of wallowing in these feelings too.