[Closed] How STW are you?

Is this another product advert?

Only owned one orange hardtail which snapped no Audi tea drinker

The need for this...

sling not a pushchair,

Makes this unlikely...

sex every other night,

So far, I'm scoring 1/5 on this scale. 😕
So, 'Not very' is the answer. 🙂

Wood burning stove
Workshop with a wood burning stove
Wusthof/global knives
Those mega expensive razors
Teva links shoes

So much more.....

I don't have all those btw! Just the one wood burner, none of the rest.

0/5

Is this another product advert?

😆

Is this another mispriced product advert?

8)

I don't have an Audi
I drink Tea
Don't work in an Office
Never wear a suit
Never shave and don't own a fancy Razor
Don't wear hand made brogues
Never ridden a single speed
Never ridden a 29er
Never ridden a 650b
Don't own a hardtail
I quite like trail centres
I don't have a log burner
I've never commuted by bike
I don't use the word "content" in thread titles
Or append "trackworld" to random words in thread titles
I know what tyres I want on my bike
I don't need a £300 knife to chop carrots
I don't send monetary "gifts" to people I don't know
I know how to use Google

I don't fit in here at all ! 😉

I've missed the razors stuff.
I forgot the wood burner.

Audi
Border Terrier
Full Suspension "all-mountain" thingamajig & Road Bike
3 different slings (one heated)

I'm doing well.

EDIT: Forgot to mention that I've recently gone over to a safety razor.

Brant - you also need to add a '****y coffee machine'

I will never own an Audi
I owned a Westie
I don't own a singlespeed
I don't own a 29'er (or plan to)
I don't ride trail centres
I don't have a log burner
I don't own the latest bling yet I don't own a nasty holier than thou shed of a bike.
I don't own multiple bikes

I can talk to women.
I will ride with [b]ANYONE[/b] to chew the cud.
I hate trail politics. Who cares if its right or wrong to ride footpaths.

So really I'm not 'STW'

Oooo a heated sling.... time for some google action...

iPad
Guardian Reader
Daily Mail hater
Border Terrier
Orange 5

Neal glover you're spot on bar one thing...

....Like me; you don't give two poops about conforming to such a load of superficial bollocks.

Silly silly people.

Owned multiple On-Ones
Have BB7's on all my bikes and [s]bang on about[/s]recommend them a lot
No dog (but will have one on the future)
No wood burner (would quite like one though)
Shop at Waitrose
Had a 29r SS
Have a 'retro' SS

However, I make coffee in a cafetiere and drive a VW (ahem, T5)

😕

Considering I [s]spend[/s] waste so much time on here I score pitifully low on the STW-o-meter!

Could we not have another catch all catagory?

Non Audi-driving, Non 5-riding, non dog-owning, non coffee-machine-using, non log-worrying, non-beardy, 26" full suss, with gears riding ... idle, workshy layabout 😀

I don't use the word "content" in thread titles
Or append "trackworld" to random words in thread titles

You don't have to have/be all these things. Isn't the site more aspirational? Everyone wants to be a big hitter after all. 😉

Add flashy ****er watch to the list, so:

Wood burner
Audi
Rolex/Omega/Breitling etc
Coffee fanatic
Orange Five
Works in IT
Can't use Google
Is indecisive about tyres etc
Happy to wait years for ovine inspired tat or snake oil (i)diets

Any more 'Typical STW user traits'?

I've got sciatica.

Baby- no
audi- no
razor- no (beard)
Orange 5- no
Wood burner- no

Massive fail

Wood burner - No
Audi - No (BMW)
Rolex/Omega/Breitling etc - Yes
Coffee fanatic - Yes
Orange Five - No
Works in IT - Yes
Can't use Google - Yes but er no.
Is indecisive [s]about tyres [/s]etc
About to run out of Mach 3 blades and post a "what razor" thread - Yes

Nearly there then...

Is there no stipulation that you need to be the wrong side of what is medically considered a healthy BMI?

love all the people who define themselves by what they're not 🙂

I tend to just be me and find that some of the things I have or do fit into some categories and some into others.

Mostly I'm 'STW Material' because I love bicycles.

Don't drive an Audi
Hate Orange 5s
No wood burner
Can't stand the Guardian and it's politics
Doesn't work in IT
Hate the idea of that "solitary" riding thing
Get bored with big long "natural" rides
Know what tyres I like
Not stupid enough to pay for stuff with Paypal gift

Wood burner (yes)
Audi (no, VW – any better?)
Rolex/Omega/Breitling etc (deffo no)
Coffee fanatic (getting there)
Orange Five (no, an Alpine 160)
Works in IT (no)
Can't use Google (can use Google)
Is indecisive about tyres etc (no)
Happy to wait years for bovine inspired tat or snake oil (i)diets (er, no)
Slasher razors (no thanks)
Ti hardtail owner? (yes)

No Audi.
Border Terrier
Working Cocker
Latest addition to bike collection.. Single speed cross bike
2 Woodburners
Merkur razor (only because it was mentioned here, and i thanks those responsible) BEST SHAVE EVER!

[i]Can't stand the Guardian and it's politics[/i]

Have we mentioned grammar and spelling pedantry yet?

love all the people who define themselves by what they're not

So you have identified a group and defined yourself as [b]not[/b] part of that group then ? 😉

skint, fat, grandad, no car, no fire, pisshead, 1 bike, no watch, mach3........got a labby tho. 😆

I aspire to be a whiney middle class cock bag..

[i]So you have identified a group and defined yourself as not part of that group then ?[/i]

I'm not not part of that group some of the time.

Read Guardian
Drink Tea (can't stand coffee)
Don't own a car
Have large workshop
Don't have Wood Stove
Shop at Tesco (and quite like it)
Cheap Safety Razor
No Dog
Ride Ti HT SS
Also own an On-one
Sort of work in IT
Use £15 kitchen knives
Don't own a watch

Isn't the typical STW'er also supposed to earn big bucks like [s]50k+ [/s] 100k+???

Regardless - I'm out thank god

Not at all apart from that I do like singlespeeds and road bikes.

no watch
no audi
no fancy coffee maker
dont use a razor
dont work in IT
dont own an on-one
shop at tesco
enjoy the occasional costa/starbucks
dont read newpapers/online news sites
dont enjoy arguing online

but:

i own a bouncybike, singlespeed and a road bike.
i very rarely ride at the moment
i take it personally when people insult me online

so i'm more STW than i'd like to admit.

if you want to be on the inner inner circle of STW, surely most of the following boxes need to be ticked:

- live in Calderdale
- beard and/or weird specs
- attend bike events wearing a cowboy hat, possibly in leopard skin
- constant twitter exchanges with other members of the inner inner stw circle, never reply to those outside the inner circle
- often not that good on a bike and a bit fat
- massive ego

Wood burner - yes
Audi - yes, but thinking of a move to Volvo...it comes with a smoking jacket and slippers.
Rolex/Omega/Breitling etc - yes
Coffee fanatic - yes
Orange Five - not any more
Dog - my kids behave like animals, does that count?
Works in IT - what does IT stand for?
Can't use Google - didnt know there was a right and wrong way to search for stuff.
Is indecisive about tyres etc - no, same make / model of tyers used for 4 years.
Fancy razor - yes, is there anything better than a Merkur slant bar safety razor?
HT - yes
29er - yes
Fat - ish
Commute - SS road bike.

...and here was me happily thinking I was just being me and sod the rest of the world.

Is there no stipulation that you need to be the wrong side of what is medically considered a healthy BMI?

I suspect most on here are either way over or way under.

woodburner - tick
van - tick
singlespeed rigid ti- tick
coffee - tick

audi - nein
dog - nein
knifes-nein
work in IT - nein

Organic Merino Packin
Wood Smokin
Beard Worshippin
Single Speeder

[url= http://www.phased.co.uk/index.php/mtb-forum-guidelines.html ]I need to update the rules, they're getting a bit dated now.[/url]