have you ever sat and though, how other people see you.
in the last week, 3 people have commented to me how they see me.
both my kids (26 and 20) are back at home. son is getting divorced, daughter broke up with boyfriend.
we all sat down to talk about it, and at the end, both my kids told me that I don't seem to care much about it. I told them that I care but at their ages it is something not to worry about. life don't always turn out as planned.
I had tried to make light of the situation, they told me that I always try to laugh things off.
then last Wednesday, I got a phone call from the hospital, telling me that my mother had been taken in by ambulance. she has history of phoning for one at the drop of a hat. I mentioned this to the person on the end of the phone.
when I got to the hospital, my mother was sat drinking tea, nothing more than a bout of stomach upset wrong with here. I was pretty annoyed, and told my mother this, and that she had to stop phoning at the drop of a hat.
a woman heard our conversation and came over to tell me that she was the person I had spoken to on the phone. she then went on to tell me that I had sounded very cold and uncaring on the phone, towards my mother. I told he that I had been to the hospital a dozen times with my mother, with false alarms.
then at work this morning, I was sat at my computer minding my own business, with a work mate serving a customer beside me. the customer was trying to pull everyone into his conversation, regarding a problem he had with some equipment. I carried on with what I was doing, so he turned to me and told me that he thought I was ignorant, for not answering him. I told him that I was not serving him, and that if I was I would have answered him.
we then had a pretty heated conversation, with him telling me that he had always thought me ignorant.
so in 2 weeks, I have been told that I am lighthearted and unserious, cold and uncaring, and ignorant.
😐
tonso in 2 weeks, I have been told that I am [s]lighthearted and un[/s]serious, cold and uncaring, and ignorant.
Sounds like an average morning for me 🙂
O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion:
People perceive me as uncaring but I just don't care. 😀
You're normal.
People perceive me as uncaring but I just don't care
I can see that.
PP wins the internet today
I did, about 8-10 years ago and i realised i was a bit of a cock..
I made a conscious decision to be much less of one...
I think i've done a decent job at it.
A couple of years ago there was a street party in our road. Although we know all of our immediate neighbours quite well, there were people further along the road that we were only on nodding terms with, had never actually chatted to until then.
It turns out they all thought we were posh because we have one of the detached houses.
How we all laughed 😆
[s]PP[/s] Robert Burns wins the internet today
FTFY
How we all laughed
....at the peasants?
Kids are both splitting from partners, you made light of it - check
Hypochondriac mother - fair enough
Customer spoke directly to you yet you ignored them - check
2 out of your 3 definitely don't make you look good
I’m sure people have words for me...
Rachel
Sundayjumper - MemberA couple of years ago there was a street party in our road.....How we all laughed
perchypanther - Member....at the peasants?
Doubtful, I believe "street party" is something they do in the favelas?
then at work this morning, I was sat at my computer minding my own business, with a work mate serving a customer beside me
legend..........can you not read.
Good post I'm pretty much the same. Have been through it with family.
Trouble is we live in a society of care vampires where everybody has to care about everything all the time. Millenials are the worst offenders it's because of the internet.
Back in the day stuff happened and we didn't GAS about it unless it was REALLY important. Now everything is at your door and if you don't respond you're cold and heartless. OK I'm cold and heartless. Next
As I get older I think I care less about those I deem don't deserve it, especially when others think I should care more.
I’m sure people have words for me...
😆
It's the motorbike. It confuses them.
😉
OK, you've heard some comments about how people perceive you, and that you are uncaring. Even the kids telling you you're laughing off their concerns amounts to the same thing.
So, do you want to do anything about it?
Or are you just sounding off?
EDIT
Trouble is we live in a society of care vampires
TBH, this sounds like a made up phrase to cover the fact that you can't be arsed, at least be honest about your antipathy
i was told i am sarcastic to anyone, be it the company director, customer or friend. I thought i was funny. now i hope my natural charm allows me to get away with it.
I'd love to know what people really thought about me (those that know me , not those who interact with me online before you lot start!) but i'd be scared too
rOcKeTdOg - MemberI'd love to know what people really thought about me
You come across as quite beardy.
People often tell me I'm cold and uncaring, It's not that i don't care about things, it's that I have perspective.
Does it actually bother you that people think you're uncaring Ton?
It's not that i don't care about things, it's that I have perspective.
this.
I told my kids this.
my son married a girl after dating her for one year. marriage lasted less than a year.
my daughter was dating a bloke 6 years older.
some relationships are not meant to be. get over it and get on with you life. I consider this good advice, not lightheartedness.
TSI it does when it is my family.
To be honest, I assume that everyone in the world thinks I am a complete bell end.
It saves disappointment when I find out that I am right.
Again.
Sort it out then, do some caring... maybe;
Let you kids know that you understand it's tough right now but it should get easier in time and they may look back on it differently in the future, they also may not.
Find out why you Mum keeps running to the hospital to get attention, and then try and act on it.
Sod the customer.
Sod the customer, he'll get his Big Mac eventually
Some people said I was being egotistical. - but enough about them
(Joke from Edinburgh fringe)
Hmm. I was just about to type "I don't care how people perceive me".
Then I thought about whether or not that was true. I think, on the whole, I don't really care, but in a professional capacity I try to project at least a limited air of competence, if not likeability - but in a personal capacity aside from my immediate family, I don't really give a monkey's.
Probably why I'm not overburdened with friends! 😕
have you considered a position in the contract killer industry
Union can be a PITA though....
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In response to the actual op,
1) what else do they expect, no one is going to die, i assume both of them, though upset, will be happier as a result, and as you say, at that age, things happen, people change and life goes on and we grow as people. You can't change the outcome, moping with them won't help anyone.
2) i certainly wouldn't have gone to the hospital, unless they'd suggested there was actual "danger" or i thought it was more "cry for help" than hypochondria.
3) some people need to be validated, it bugs me but, in my place of work its partly what I'm paid for.
my son married a girl after dating her for one year. marriage lasted less than a year.
my daughter was dating a bloke 6 years older.
That doesn't come across as having perspective, it comes across as being judgemental. Your son and daughter probably have a good understanding why their relationships failed, they may not be looking to you to tell them that, but rather, be on their side, listen to their problems, and support them.
some relationships are not meant to be. get over it and get on with you life. I consider this good advice, not lightheartedness.
I suppose the crunch here is whether you offered support and/or consolation too?
nickc, I said nothing to either of my kids about their choice of partner. both were living away from home at the time. they did what they wanted.
legend..........can you not read.
Just fine thanks
the customer was trying to pull everyone into his conversation, regarding a problem he had with some equipment. I carried on with what I was doing
reads to me that you were fully aware the guy was trying to engage you. A quick "I do apologise but I'm dealing with another customer right now" type statement and you're grand
Op,the comment on the thread about that bloke driving 100's of miles and the guy denying they had agreed a price,you said you'd have made him drive that distance too if he offered me such a low price? this is a forum and you were probably messing about but if not you sound like a smartass tit.
mikey3........I think pretty much everyone on the forum realised I was messing about. as I have dealt with or sold to or met a very large proportion of them.
Hmmm..
I see this thread as only going one way.
I suspect I'm often seen as an arrogant SOB "in real life," when I consider myself a loner introvert who doesn't follow the crowd.
I see this thread as only going one way.
no mate. got what I wanted from it. no more input from me. 😀
[i] you sound like a smartass tit.[/i]
Can you be an ass and a tit at the same time?
DezB - Member
you sound like a smartass tit.Can you be an ass and a tit at the same time
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Can you be an ass and a tit at the same time?
A flying donkey type of beast? - totally!
Edit : beaten by seconds by a superior post, too
Also, an arse and a tit can look like the same appendage from a similar proximity so, in a kind of cat dead/cat alive sort of scenario - it could be either until all is revealed.
a superior post
Well that's going in my diary.
Edit:
an arse and a tit can look like the same appendage
Years ago i read this is why "cleavage" evolved to look like it does, rather than say a cow's udders, as its a visual clue/stimulant for us stupid males.
