spent most of my adult life in a long term, mainly positive relationship which ended 2 years ago. Separation was as amicable as these things can be, but hurt me dreadfully and left me feeling that I had lost everything
Examine this statement from another angle. For 20 years you had everything, a balance between a good relationship, hobbies and your friends. Because you were prepared to take a leap into the unknown. Knowing this, you should just go for it and do what you enjoy doing. That should mean that you spend more time with your new partner and do slightly less in other areas. Have fun 🙂
On a contrary note to all the other posters here, I would say you don't need to go out of your way just yet to put the constant commitment and compromise in just yet. You say you see him 2 or 3 times a week - what's wrong with that?
I would just relax with the situation - maybe bring it up with him, but don't assume that there is some threshold, under which you're not officially in a relationship. Personally, I love it when a girl has her own life, passions and interests. I would hate it if her entire life was just spending time with me - she would be so much less interesting.
Don't hurry it. As long as he doesn't get the wrong idea.
(Then of course, I'm 31 and still single, so what the hell do I know?)
Scary thread.
Do you like cats?
From a bloke's point of view, there will come a point when he might not keep asking if he starts to feel he's harrassing you.
Possibly sooner rather than later as well. It can be hard to put things together again when one party has felt rejected or ignored by the other in an early part of the relationship when you don't really know where you stand.
translates as1) Easyjet to Scarborough
2) Inflatable at Southport
3) Throwing yourself off bridges in full bike leathers
4) Kebab houses
5) Tupperware parties with your mums freinds
😆
wors, I think they've done it and the schlong dimensions are positive:
t's in those somewhat hedonistic early days
Nice one! take it easy and get him out with your mates for rides n stuff, then sue time in the eve. Sorted!
List the positives in your life and I reckon you'll include this new man. List the negatives and if your job doesn't top the list then you've been grossly misleading us. Now work on giving more time to the positives and less to the negatives (if you can't can't change job as Peter wisely suggests).
I'm not sure if this is a first for STW ... but I listened to some of the advice on here 😯
Had a slight wobble - ie the "I'm not sure if this is what I want" panic mode text ... But he was so nice about it, and happy to give me all the space and time I wanted, that I stopped and remembered some of the comments on here. So I finally WTFU, and now feel OK about us spending time together ... actually more than OK ... rather happy and smiling far too much for a Monday 🙂
Cheers guys, sometimes you speak words of wisdom ...
🙂
Hope it all goes well for you Sue - enjoy!!
*is only the teensiest weensiest bit jealous*
Has he got any single mates??
Just in case any ladies get any ideas, I am [i][u][b]NOT[/i][/u][/b] single, OK?
Oh and the same goes for the fellas.
I'd maybe talk to him about it as well in a non-heavy way. More along the lines of - i like you, i'm a bit broken so might be a bit random but that is just the way it is. Communication is everything. Guessing is dangerous. Good luck. Nice to see a postive thing happening to someone and not posts of drunk chavs on trains 😯
SueW
Sounds like a very promising start and one I would be very happy with in your shoes.
Instead of appearing to turn him down, and if it's not a step too far in this early stage, why not check out diaries for the next few weeks and sort it out that way.
Good luck 😀
This is brilliant, and rather ****ing excellent news
I'm ever so pleased for you my lovely 8)
*kisses*
A happy thread!
We should have it stuffed.
Sue, if you're half as nice in real life as you are on here, then he's a lucky chap indeed.
Spring's on the way, days getting longer - enjoy yourselves 🙂
Like my dad told me once - work, relationship, hobbies... pick two. Well not entirely like that, but very hard to give enough time to them all. One of them will eventually crumble.
Can we ask the most important question?
Have you touched his monkey yet?
Thanks guys!
and Crikey - LOL ... 🙂
... actually more than OK ... rather happy and smiling far too much for a Monday
The excitement you get early on in a relationship......you cant beat this feeling, cherish it 😀
I have no advice and if you knew me you wouldn't ask for it 🙂 but just go with it and see what happens naturally, try not to have any pre-conceptions about where its going, what does it all mean - just enjoy the happiness youre feeling now. Good luck 🙂
Awwww... I'm dead pleased for you 🙂
Now you have the dreary monotony of a long term relationship to loof forward to.
