[Closed] How do you 'let go' of ex's?

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You answered you're own question ...

Get a new woman? There is nothing as exciting as.

(Maybe on a practical note - remind yourself of why you split, revisit in your head and then bury.)

We all move on from time to time. Let it go.

Get on with it and move on

Every time I try and find one (and I try lots and lots), I can't...

Either I picked people who were never going to sign up to social netowrking, or as soon as they did, they found me and blocked me. That's life though, when you leave a lot of broken hearts littering the emotional baggage carousels of life. 😐

EDIT: or they've all committed suicide. ❓

From their ankles, on the 5th floor.

For me with The Big Ex, we stayed in touch, then she had kids and became incredibly mumsy overnight and I thought "well out of [i]that[/i]" Problem solved.

Okay take a step back and perhaps don't try so hard, just be around social groups that allow you to make friends first.

Maybe you should generally stay away from social networking.

What is the permed-haired woman above? Odd, slightly funny in an odd way though. 🙂

Google Bunny Boiler

What is the permed-haired woman above? Odd, slightly funny in an odd way though.

Definitely a hint of "bunny-boiler" about her, though.

Gah! 29sec late!

What is the permed-haired woman above? Odd, slightly funny in an odd way though.

Glenn Close

[url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/?ref_=nv_sr_1 ]Fatal Attraction (1987)[/url]

I can't help but feel that the old suggestion of bombers might not help in this particular situation.

Wow.

Watch Fatal Attraction.

Stay away from any ex. One of you didn't want the other in their life for a reason.

I find anger, loathing and resentment [ from either one of us] is great for helping get over an ex

Never tried to look one up on Social media either tbh

There's still one of my exes I have big regrets over, and miss terribly; my stupid fault we broke up. Most of the others I still keep in touch with, went to the weddings of two of them, and one is possibly one of my best friends, although contact is infrequent.
If we do speak on the phone, the conversation can go on for a couple of hours... 😀

I spent years regretting splitting up with an ex. we'd been together for 5 years and were engaged. I finished it because I really fancied another girl and let my desires get the better of me. I didn't want to go behind my fiancees back so I left her and shacked up with this new piece. So, my new piece turned out to be a complete **** and by the time I realised this and dumped her there was now way I could work things out with my ex-fiancee.

It took years of guilt and self-loathing before it dawned on me that I wouldn't have left her in the first place if staying with her was the right thing to do. Now I'm very happily married with two brilliant kids and it turns out ****fink did me a favour by coming along and stopping me marrying someone who I really shouldn't have married.

To summarise, she's your ex for a reason, you're feeling a bit lonely, stop bl88dy thinking about her, crack one off and go for a ride 😀

[b]Rone[/b] wrote [i]"and then bury"[/i]
Bit extreme, that 😯

As my dear old gran used to say,
"To get over someone,
get under someone!"

I don't let go, I store them:

[img][url= https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7185/6972693375_e09ec054e5_o.jp g" target="_blank">https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7185/6972693375_e09ec054e5_o.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/bC9SPi ]Grave[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/people/66651884@N00/ ]martinddd[/url], on Flickr[/img]

Don't look them up.

In a recent session I ran on social network use someone expressed surprise that if you browsed LinkedIn whilst logged in that folks could get the summary 'weird old ex browsed your profile' (I paraphrase). A few 'stalking' jibes ensued from other participants.

Tell them EVERYTHING you need to, as soon as you can, or suck it up.

I never said that I hope she dies a vestibule of visceral despair, pissing tears of burning regret having lived a life of sycophantic whoring and father ****ing fantasy.

I never got a chance. Now she writes for a national paper and I regret saying "Yeah you take care too".

****.

Edit: 7 years ago, happily settled now.

This too will pass.

My exes are all either estranged now or good friends. It's all too easy to look back with rose-tinted glasses but you split up for a reason.

Are you mourning the loss of a love or the loss of a friend? The latter was always more difficult for me I think, I've never had any real desire to go backwards with relationships and I haven't the remotest romantic interest in exes, but losing touch with someone who you spent a lot of time talking to and knows you really well is pretty tough. After six years maybe that's something you could salvage, you've had a clean break, time to be friends?

I have the same problem as the OP. Nagging desire to contact ex(s) even though in a happy relationship. Its caused me BIG trouble before, so I've learnt from that and the email address will remain unused! Otherwise I'm a complete idiot. (And not just a bit of one).
There is nothing positive to be gained from it, that is for certain.

Bridges are best...

Rachel

Three of mine (there weren't many more) are my friends on FB and I interact with them to varying degrees. They friended me so I guess I'm just a damn nice guy..

Despite this, having been told by her public profile that she's now engaged - I'm actually feelling physically sick at the thought of it.

This, however, has also happened to me (not with one of the ones on FB). It was only a few years after the breakup and I did feel pretty bad about it. However it didn't last. Life goes on and so do we.

I think it's always interesting to look up ex's to see what there are up to and to stay friends if possible.

Life moves on though, and so should you (meant in a nice way)

Haha, must be something in the air 🙂 I looked one of mine up last night after 27 years. Found her married with kids and living in Chile. Has a profile but not posted for a couple of years so I think I am safe.

I had a w$&k over an ex once. She's a heavy sleeper and I Still had a key...

Sorry.

On a serious note you split for a reason. Life can be a bitch.

The only Ex. I stress about, I found her number in my 2004 iPod last month.

She was [i]really[/i] shocked to get a call!

Married though, which kinda cheered me up. Got the shakes calling...just like old times [we had a wild time of it].

Do not measure your self worth based on what she's doing well after you split up. Remember you rejected her, yes? She wasn't good enough then, and she's not good enough now.

You are, in effect, judging every gorgeous intelligent fun, sexy woman you've not met by her standards

Daft eh?

OP, does she have a sister?

I am 36 years old and split up with my first proper girlfriend when I was 18. I have been with my wife since I was 19, we have a brililant relationship and have been very happily married for 12 years and have three kids.

I haven't seen my ex for 18 years but still have a thing for her.

No logic behind that.

My only significant long term relationship ex got married then upped sticks to France to live the 'good life' on a small holding. Not spoken to her since she left the country. Found out recently she has a two year old child. She was very much a career girl when we were together. Don't want to go back there, but do still feel like I lost a good friend.

Facebook link please,let us judge!

Loads of unresolved issues with my first proper ex girl-friend. We split up when I was 19 after 2-3 years. I'm 46 this year, happily married with two kids.

So is she, as far as I'm aware, though hers must be grown up now.

[url= http://singletrackworld.com/forum/profile/franksinatra ]still have a thing for her[/url].

Do You Know Why?

Don't Be that Way. Pick Yourself Up, Dry Your Eyes.
No One Ever Tells You: The Saddest Thing of All....
Out of Nowhere, The End of a Love Affair [is sometimes] Necessity

[[url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_songs_recorded_by_Frank_Sinatra ]Don't Blame Me[/url]]

Do You Know Why?

Yes I do. It is because she was a filthy little minx who enjoyed spending a disproportionate amount of time doing indescribable things in bed.......

I still have a thing for my last serious ex. Only rational reason I've come up with is that she offered security in areas that I don't think I have in current relationship. The downside is that she was a bit batsh1t mental at times. She went off travelling and voluntarily kept in touch with me. No bridges burned whatsoever. I'd meet up with her tomorrow if she happened to be passing. Nothing would come of it though.

I've solved this problem by only ever having one partner my whole life. 😯

Thanks... some top-quality STW responses there and plenty of STW mirth there too. Has cheered me up a tad.. 🙂

We were really close, best friends, soul-mates and everything else, through some formative years. But like some suggested - I must've broken it off for a reason. I needed to be able to roam free, something I'm still doing, 11 years now after we broke up. 38 now and I still haven't quite managed to settle down with anyone just yet. It doesn't mean that looking back isn't sometimes tinged with regret.

I'd love to get in touch and tell her I'm really happy for her, but hey, I guess that might not work out well in reality. I guess we probably burn bridges for a reason, eh..

We were really close, best friends, soul-mates and everything else, through some formative years. But like some suggested - I must've broken it off for a reason. I needed to be able to roam free, something I'm still doing, 11 years now after we broke up. 38 now and I still haven't quite managed to settle down with anyone just yet. It doesn't mean that looking back isn't sometimes tinged with regret.

EDIT: I see this a little more complicated, now I've bothered to read the thread. 😆 My advice would be not to live in the past and measure other people you meet up against her, you can love different people for different reasons.

I've solved this problem by only ever having one partner my whole life.

Me too - I avoid problems with exes by not having any 😉

Social media and more importantly the relationships that it can spawn, is thought to be cited in over 30% of divorce cases..

When I first got on facebook I contacted a few old friends (a couple of them were old flames too but I've always found it's just a tiny bit saner to refer to folk from your past as old friends)

It was good to catch up, and I even hooked up with one or two for a pint.. no romances came of it and I'm glad, and I even have one or two very close friends as a result

I think getting yourself in a lather about having those thoughts and feelings is totally unnecessary.. We all have fond memories and it's good that we can go back and revisit those times to see what pieces are left to pick up

I'd love to get in touch and tell her I'm really happy for her, but hey, I guess that might not work out well in reality

just get on with it, drop her a line and say hello.. what are you imagining could go wrong!?

The last thing she might have communicated to me was something about not wanting us to be in contact anymore... and I've completely respected that since then. We were on-off friends-with-occasional-benefits for a few years after we broke up and I think it was probably doing her head in.

Probs best just to let things lie.. I'm glad she's happy now.