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[Closed] Here's something dark for the evening...

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[#1124501]

Suicide... who's considered it? gotta say, my life isn't turning out quite the way I wanted it to... almost certainly my fault, maybe a combination of factors, inherited (though self diagnosed 🙄 ) depression doesn't help I suppose... a plan and sticking to it might have been a good idea 😆 a few drinks tonight, wife's been away for a week... dark thoughts enter one's mind (not for the first time...) why post this bullshit on here? well, who else do I have to 'talk' to??

In all honesty, I won't do it chaps, I'm too much on the fence: not depressed enough to jump but depressed enough to feel like I should... what a ****in gip eh? 🙄


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 12:37 am
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Dont you ****ing dare!

Theres lots of rellly good folk here and everywhere you are. Please em me or other here, you have interests, family and fiends you dont even know how gutted they'll be! Honestly.

Edit - it that your work email?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 12:43 am
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don't fret... it's not a cry for help (not tonight anyway)... more a question...

edit: maybe not an appropriate one... sorry


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 12:47 am
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It can be therapeutic to have a drink and wallow in misery once in a while, if its more serious, or more than once in a while then you need to address it mate. There are ways through.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 12:54 am
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Ok - fret over! Really tho - 1st things 1st. I'd recommend some form of mentor. Out of your friends could someone do this? Otherwise lots of organisiations offer this, its worth the minor gamble. Things climb in on top of all of us - some deal with it better. Personally I recognise when I need impartial help.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 12:54 am
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Pain.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 12:59 am
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psychle - This is as good a forum as any. We should compare notes. Life doesnt work out. The dark dog wait for any opportunity.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:04 am
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indeed it does... it's a bitch really, not a dog 😆 Still never sure if I suffer from depression or just plain old laziness... how do you tell the difference?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:05 am
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how do you tell the difference?

You're on here asking for help.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:07 am
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... at 00:08 in the morning.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:08 am
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the difference being?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:09 am
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You'd still be going on about Avatar.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:10 am
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so it's just one drink too many?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:11 am
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Whatever wakes your monkey up and starts it chewing on your neck.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:13 am
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If you ride a mtb I doubt you're lazy!!! Where I am I have to cycle up a bloddy great hill to get the buzz on the downhill.

For me a really shit day can be tough to get out of bed. But I've now assimated a good team around me (mainly my wife, sister, painintheassbrotherinlaw) who can see the signs. It took me some time to know the signs and my escape valve.

I've never met you but all the best people I've ever known suffer from depression, some mild, some extreme, some bipolar. Maybe it's some form of normal?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:15 am
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Whatever wakes your monkey up and starts it chewing on your neck

are we talking about ambition and motivation here Mr Woppit? If so, I wish I could wake up my monkey... been drifting along for way too long, starting to question the point really...


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:17 am
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but all the best people I've ever known suffer from depression

nah, I'm just a sad git...


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:18 am
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I think you should give it a go. After all, what have you got to lose?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:19 am
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give what a go?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:20 am
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starting to question the point really...

Churchill called it his black dog. To me, it's the neck monkey. Stupid thing, but it won't stop trying to eat me alive until I manage to distract myself enough to force it back into it's little box. By talking about it on a forum, for instance. The most difficult thing is that this is a conversation most people either back away from very fast, or start offering "sympathy" which I find, only makes it worse.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:23 am
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What did you have in mind? There's options...


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:23 am
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What did you have in mind? There's options...

what? noose, shotgun, high cliff, pills, heroine OD, in front of a train... that sort of thing? (have I tossed these options up? never...)

or are we talking about life in general? if you've decided it's not worth living, then why not live it to the limit and to hell with it?

or something else?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:26 am
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If you could have anything you want to make it worth living, what would that be?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:30 am
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heroine OD

Being a pedant, I'd go for that one 😉

There are very few people whose lives have gone to plan. My aim to be knee deep in cocaine and hookers by 30 went unfulfilled 😥


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:34 am
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I gave it a ****ing good go though...


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:35 am
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If you could have anything you want to make it worth living, what would that be?

In all honesty? I couldn't tell you... all I ever know is that I'm not happy (whatever that is). I buy stuff and for a little bit I'm happy with my new purchase, but then I look at my credit card and my savings and my paltry income and that's that... I have a wife who (for god knows what reason!) loves me to a ridiculous degree (honestly, why? I can't see anything to love and I don't even know if I love her... which isn't fair and I know it, and that sends me further into a downward spiral...) honestly, how the **** is someone meant to cope with a mind that just won't let up? always thinking, always wondering, always ****ing negative... maybe drugs are the answer?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:36 am
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Being a pedant, I'd go for that one

so would I actually... seems like it might be a good ride before the end...


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:37 am
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Shopping will never make you happy!

Youre wife can, income never will.

Cuddle up beside her and tell her your inner thoughts. Maybe in the morning?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:43 am
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Number one, see the doctor. Whilst you're there, ask about 2: Therapy and 3: Prozac. That's the best advice I can give.

If you're sunk too deep to make it to the door:

http://www.samaritans.org/


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:43 am
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Been on your bike much recently? Lack of exercise always puts me into a black mood. Generally seems to be a lot discussion about depression on the forum at the moment, maybe SAD?

Buying stuff will never make you happy. Unless you're in a cake shop, where it will make you happy and fat 🙂


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:44 am
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hey man, you've come to the right place, there are loads of people on here who share common interests and feelings. Many of them also happen to be really good people so take it easy and discuss it with them.

feeling suicidal may well be a 'taboo' subject which people dodge but its as valid a human emotion as any other so dont feel like you cant talk about it.

Recognising how you feel is a good thing, now think of ways to improve your situation, get help doing those things if you need it and take a step forward.

Think of good times my friend.
mail's in profile if fancy a chat


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:45 am
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Are you still with us, psychle?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 1:59 am
 Kit
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psychle: what's bugging you? why are you down?

There's been a few threads recently about suicide, and plenty of people who can try and help you. A lot of us have been through depression, depressive thoughts, and have advice, but you have to let us know why you get down!

Kit


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:01 am
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A plan and sticking to it sounds like an appalling life. You'll end up in middle management or estate agency with your 320 BMW and your orange wife. Jesus, that sounds like hell. I'm nowhere near where I imagined myself as a kid but I'm in a reasonably happy place. I've been suicidal but I'm glad I didn't do it now.

Ask for help if you really feel this way or just sign in sick for a week and ride your bike every day if not.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:02 am
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Are you still with us, psychle?

indeed guv'ner... fear not 🙂 just been wandering the interweb... it's all good, as mentioned above I'm not miserable enough to jump, but miserable enough to feel like I should... to be fair, it's a precarious state of mind to be in, perhaps all it would take is the easily accessible means to an end and tadda, that's all folks and a poor 'spur of the moment' decision made (perhaps)... I suppose that's how it happens most of the time... I wonder if all folks who jump off a bridge have second thoughts on the way down??


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:03 am
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or just sign in sick for a week and ride your bike every day if not.

You know, I've been thinking about doing that... more like a month though...


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:05 am
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psychle: what's bugging you? why are you down?

I think, if I knew I'd be one step closer to sorting my life out... not being sarcastic, but that's the way it is... I really don't know what my problem is... add up the sum of what should make me happy and it's pretty positive, and yet I feel so ****ing unhappy... it's shit, and in my head all I think is that I'm just a lazy cock wasting his life, but maybe there's more to it than that... or am I just looking for excuses?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:09 am
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Im no expert. But it seems like you do have a form of depression. My only advice is be a man and ask for help from those closest to you. Ime everyone that cares for me / you will help. Everyone. But you gotta be strong enough to ask. From the bottom that's a big big ask! You take that step tho you might be impressed by those around you.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:25 am
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Do you have children?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:26 am
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nope... not something I'd like to have in my life, though some do tell me it gives purpose...

just watched the opening sequence to Saving Private Ryan again... jeez, maybe I should join the army and go to war... get a sense of purpose 🙄


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:29 am
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Have you ever been religious?


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:31 am
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12 years of Catholic education (Roman Catholic), not religious though... I was actually the only person in my year to fail Religious Education, gave the teacher too much shit...


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:36 am
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Mr Woppit, Couldashouldawoulda, RichPenny, walla24, samuri & Kit... thanks for joining me on this melancholy evening...'tis time for bed, I unfortunately have to work in the morrow 🙁 alcohol may cloud my brain but I appreciate you taking the time to post on a sad git's thread... ciao for now 8)


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:49 am
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No worries.


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 2:59 am
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I thought most angles were covered in this last thread.

[url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/suicideknow-anyone ]...[/url]


 
Posted : 13/12/2009 8:19 am
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