[Closed] Has everyone done the government career advice thing?

I did it a few weeks ago and it suggested I should be a nurse or teaching assistant.

I own a web design agency.

I got pipe fitter. I’m a civil service drone.

I’m looking forward to fully exploring the multitude of doors open to me in my new career. once I’ve decided which one to pursue

Bad Manners tribute act?

It's all gone by the wayside with the venues shut PP

Well...

I got Managerial in Computing, technology and digital and Business and finance.

Consider this Manager in an IT Support company and former Finance Manager surprised at it's competency.

I got IT security consultant.

I've ordered an Audi and a woodburner as a consequence.

Hospitality and food
Retail and sales
Creative and media
Construction and trades
Sport and leisure
Computing, technology and digital
Emergency and uniform services
Animal care
Healthcare
Social care

Wtf? That's so wide as to be useless. Let me click through on the IT one since I am an IT consultant...

Information scientist
IT security co-ordinator
Technical architect
Head of IT
Digital product owner
Digital delivery manager

That sounds pretty good. So, assuming I'm an out of work brickie, which evening class do I need to apply for jobs as Head of IT?

Steeplejack.... I'm sh*t scared of heights!

So, assuming I’m an out of work brickie, which evening class do I need to apply for jobs as Head of IT?

Probably some kind of bullcrap Microsoft Certification, followed by Agile.

So it seems I should be in creative & media or construction...I am sure there are loads of people sitting on the fence about buying a macbbook or a van 🙂

Sport and leisure
Emergency and uniform services
Manufacturing

I'm a project manager...

A micro brewer.

Did they know I just ordered a cider press? Can't think how else they could have come up with that.

I got meteorologist, climate scientist and countryside ranger, pretty much perfect for me!

If you answer "It depends" for every single question then you should become a Quantity Surveyor.

At least that's what my wife constantly tells me and she's never even seen this questionnaire.

I got loads of random nonsense and no mention of what I was doing for 35 years. I remember careers programmes that were much better than that 30 f years ago.

I did it. 'Creative and Media' is a whole category of jobs. It didn't even suggest the category for me, not anywhere, not even down the bottom of the list. So, I guess I should look for a different job.

Top 2 suggestions were 'search and rescue worker' and 'prison instructor'. Next was 'aromatherapist'.

Top 2 suggestions were ‘search and rescue worker’ and ‘prison instructor’

You don't want to be a prison search instructor.
You'd have to deal with loads of arseholes.

Well every job in t suggested for me had a predicted wage of minimum or just above. So my take from it is that I'll be poor for the foreseeable future.

At least it's got one thing right.

If you answer “It depends” for every single question then you should become a Quantity Surveyor.

Or IT architect

I went for Manufacturing.

I got

Production Worker
Leather Technologist
Dressmaker

I reckon combining the last two could see me reet.

So it seems I should be in creative & media or construction

although film / media took a kicking through the main lock down, before COVID struck there was reckoned to be a crew shortage in the region of 30,000 folk in film /high end Tv alone, and right now it seems to be bouncing back quite keenly. You don’t need to be arty (in either your skill set or your interests) to work in the creative industries in the same way as you don’t need to be a mechanic to work in the automotive industry or a doctor to work in a hospital. When you watch the list of names roll up the screen there’s only a really a small number of creative roles but there are plenty of accountants, scaffolders, electricians, drivers, nurses, administrators, and so on working with those skills ‘in the media’ and the industry is desperate for people to transfer over from other sectors.

That sounds pretty good. So, assuming I’m an out of work brickie, which evening class do I need to apply for jobs as Head of IT?

It's a fair point, it reminds me of the career advice at School, "oh you like heights, you can be an Airline Pilot then" as if all you need is the desire and BA will give you a 747 to drive about.

I guess the Government aren't thinking that all the bar staff, kitchen staff, stage dressers, Cinema staff etc are going to be able to go back to their old jobs in 3/6/9 months then, seems they're going to need a couple of years to retrain for some pretty specialist roles.

Creative and Media comes No.1 for me.

Which is handy as I've spend the last 35yrs in the print and design trade!! 🙂

I got insurance loss adjuster haha!

I'm (was) a musician

EDIT....just done looked at a role in a similar industry to arts.....they recommend 'Stunt Performer' hahahaha. No wonder Spitting Image doesn't seem funny anymore, real life is way more hilarious than satire!!

I got 'Emergency Services, Hospitality, Retail and Sales, Animal Care...'

Nothing about being in the creative industries and definitely not an editor. Sounds about right then! 🙂

I got boxer.

Better join my local gym and start working to unlock my hidden talent.

Every salary seem to range 18-40k.

I got actor, construction (various), athlete!, Data scientist (not that far from what I do now but am sick of).

Paramedic. Which is what I wanted to do as a teenager.

My brother in law is a barber.....one of his suggestions was 'bomb disposal technician'

Cheers Binners....funniest half hour I've had in ages!!!

Boxer!

I'm 55 and would blow away in a strong breeze. That's the career for me!

(or Information Scientist which is pretty close to the day job)

There was a thing in the Grauniad this morning where some lass was offered Commercial Pilot or Lock Keeper.

Also reports of Cinema jobs being punted too..

I'm gonna have a go later.

Apparently I should/could be an Environmental Heath Officer; or a Royal Marines Officer; or a Prison Governor...unless I want to be a Child Welfare Officer or a receptionist...

I'm a training consultant.

Basically every whatsapp group I'm in is now filled with this.....I've been in tears for the past half hour!

My sister got Bingo Caller
Girlfriend got Soldier, Football referee and travel agency manager!!! She's the least physically able 29 year old I know!!!
Friend also got bingo caller and also racehorse trainer ffs!!

It's good to see goverenment money isn't being wasted at least.

What Rishi actually meant with his suggestions was, 50% of you need to become van drivers....those that get in quick might get to work for the least ****tish employers. The other 50% can be whatever you like.....as long as it's for Serco or G4S

Are people seriously getting Boxer / Athlete etc? That's madness.

I got meteorologist, climate scientist and countryside ranger, pretty much perfect for me

I got this too...and helicopter pilot, or yardman. I quite fancy being a helicopter-flying countryside ranger, who can keep an eye on the weather too

For me it's a tossup between boxer, cake decorator and astronomer.

Darlings! I got actor! Wonderful 😀

I’m (was) a musician

EDIT….just done looked at a role in a similar industry to arts…..they recommend ‘Stunt Performer’

Plenty of skills in common: Crash Cymbals, Stage Diving, Suicide Trombones,

BSL interpreter.  Presumably because I said I like to do things with my hands, but was a terrible listener.

Paramedic,soldier or environmental and land.

Ultimate job a PJ

I hope you all went into full on PRIVATE mode before using this tool. Just pointing out the obvious I hope.

Boxer or aromatherapist. Pretty much the same, really.

I could be an actor or a cake decorator, apparently... 🙄

Astronomer and/or acoustics consultant.