I love this thread, you couldn't make it up. It actually makes me broody.
I remember when I was about 6 or 7, I shouted ‘Bring out the Bastards’ I meant to say Branston, my Mum did not see the funny side - belted for that one I was.
My son used to called them, and even now the whole family still call them ‘Smokerettes’.
scardypants
She also once described Stockton (where I was brought up) as a bag of skin that holds your testicles. Fair enough.
sorry my bag of skin is useful and i have become quite fond of it, Stockton on the other hand
Stepdaughter: "Cant wait for Sunday when Dad gives me my forst driving lesson - I'm really excited"
Me: "Cool. Er... which car will you be driving?"
Stepdaughter: "Yours"
😯
Family holiday at Flamingo land a good few years ago, me and the kids were pottering around the animal park section when we noticed that the rangers were prepping for a 'feeding time' at the tortoise section.
Kids (5&3) said they wanted to see it so they bagsied space at the fence right next to the tortoises. As the crowd grew, I dropped back to let a few more nippers in close.
feeding time starts, the rangers start telling the kids how great the tortoises were etc etc, 5 mins in my 5 yr old boy stands up, turns to me (10 feet away) and yells at me, while pointing to the tortoise
'Dad, there's good eating on one of them'
Proud moment.
Well, today I had "who's the man who licks your willy daddy".....
I blame Numberjacks....
DrP
My grandmother died recently and we explained this to my two five year olds by pointing out that she was very old at 95 and this was a normal thing to happen at that age.
The following day we took my other grandmother out for lunch....
Boy A: 'gran gran, how old are you?'
Grandmother: 'I'm 93.'
Boy B: 'you'll be dead soon, daddy will have to rent another truck to empty your house. I like trucks'
You could have heard a pin drop in the restaurant.
😀
My 2.5yr-old is going through a creepy stage - she turned to me this morning and said "the moon is still watching you".
Another for the list...
Power Rangers Samurai has the catchphrase "by the power of the Ancestors".
In our household it's migrated to "[b]by the power of the incestors[/b]".
Brilliant.
DrP
On Wednesday night was getting more exasperated with son two not going to bed. I was pronouncing it with two syllables to give it some emphasis.
Me: bed, BED, BE Deh
Him: Bed Trois
He's 5
