As I've clarified in other threads, I'm no longer yearning for material items
I remember a similar revelation from you a year or 2 go.
Old habits die hard Cynic-al. All things have peaks amd troughs and it'd be easy to see how this is a trough. It isnt. I'm at the bottom of a rise of re-invention, of a new adventure that'll have more integrity and meaning. I dont "what" it is yet but i know its coming. I took a step forward last night by removing the blight of past reminders, information overload and increased my ability to focus on whats clearly in front of me in the present by deleting my facebook account. That may be trivial to some, but it helps me.
Hating your job and expecting to have mortgage payments until you are 62 - no wonder you feel trapped and miserable. Sounds like you have made some bad decision to get to this place, but lots of people are in the same situation, plenty much worse. Glass half empty etc.
Old habits die hard Cynic-al. All things have peaks amd troughs and it'd be easy to see how this is a trough. It isnt. I'm at the bottom of a rise of re-invention, of a new adventure that'll have more integrity and meaning. I dont "what" it is yet but i know its coming. I took a step forward last night by removing the blight of past reminders, information overload and increased my ability to focus on whats clearly in front of me in the present by deleting my facebook account. That may be trivial to some, but it helps me.
Makes you sound incredibly narcissistic and self absorbed :lol:, but good luck, I hope it works out.
Do you know was Narcissm means Angeldust?
[i]extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
[/i]
You are wrong. In my case its my case its a self critical spiral toward anonimity and self satisfaction to drive happiness for me and my family without the willy waving of the socially narcisist world in which we live.
Fair enough and best of luck.
This life business is not always easy.
Yep, I know what it means thanks.
It isnt. Im a hard worker not so much driven to be successful but driven not to fail. I dont change or give up easily, becuase that would be failure.
However, when that behaviour becomes self destructive one needs to break out. As Angeldust says maybe i may some wrong decisons but actually i kept riding the tide that carried me without getting of the boat. I need to do the right thing to give my family a good life without become broken and unable to do so. Sure, other people have worse problems, but this is my demon to shake off while i can.
With that, im done with this thread, im not here posturing for attention, or maybe i am and dont want to be, but either way i have things to do and a life to live today which brings far greater satisfaction than tapping put my subconcious on an internet forum.
if , at the end of your over analysing you actually took some steps to put right what was wrong in your life you would be in a better place . Unfortunately you appear to be more of a thinker than a doer and until you change that you will just keep on going around in circles .
I think if you are over 16 and Facebook is a big thing to you, then some reinvention is definitely required, so good luck with that.
As to the question; 45 and a little bit hungover, 3 kids, work and overtime, always tired, very little free time of my own, no chance of retiring early, and no I don't feel old. I'm pretty happy with my lot really.
Oh shit, you're too old...
Bikebouy sounds like a right laugh. As an alternative to firing squad.
Thanks.
50 this year and I'm now an orphan who will be older and Than the average age of my parents. That said, I'm fitter and faster than I have ever been. Riding 400 km per week means plenty of me time and a job I really enjoy.
Commuting killed me and was aging me. I was driving 1000 km per week and did this for 10 years. We moved.
You need to do something. Change job, ride more, drive less, get a dog... but do something.
58 (60 next year!!!)
I went out running this afternoon and something just clicked that hadn't previously..
http://www.blog.scotroutes.com/2017/03/running-with-deer.html
.. so there's always for for change.
As for the OP, I hope he carries on reading this thread. Along with a few others, I've been guilty of teasing him about his current lifestyle. I hope he takes it all in good grace. I'm sure no one wishes him any ill-will and the repeated piss-taking (from me at least) is really just a way of getting him to reconsider his approach to things. I really do wish him and his family all the best and I hope he can break out of this self-destructive cycle he feels he is in.
Kryton57 - good luck mate. Sorry if I've caused any offence.
im not here posturing for attention, or maybe i am
Well it's pretty obvious that you are, seeing as you started the thread ..... 😀
But, being serious, much of what you post sounds a bit mixed up, but on this thread you have said a lot of sensible stuff. Sometimes airing the thoughts help, so finger crossed ..
Apologies, I not read the whole thread so forgive any repetition
I'm pretty much the same age and sometimes find myself in a similar state of mind:
Work is grinding torture; I seem to live for 5pm Friday and the weekend which passes by in a flash of teenage angst, homework, DIY jobs and, to be fair, usually a ride either locally solo or Swineley with the kids (16 yo twin boys)
I've read that males of around my age typically score low on 'happiness and wellbeing'. Unsurprising really - the treadmill of work, teenage kids and exams, mortgage, loss of youth and so on.
But... I car share with a guy 10 years older (~55). He remembers the same feelings but is now 'out the other side'. Kids now independent, mortgage almost paid, a few quid available
Just life I guess and these really are first world problems. I've a lot to be grateful for; two kids and a wife I adore, nice house, car, a collection of bikes etc
Well from personal experiece 45 to 50 then 50 to 54 have both seen fairly notable declines physically. The big issue has been injury recovery which just takes forever. The fitness rebuild is really slow 😐
OP there are many different ways of living your life, just saying ... one thought is you don't need to be working 17 years to pay off mortgage, downsize when kids go.
My life is a bit weird, I'm only 38 so not feeling old yet. I wasted a lot of my 20's being a partner/ carer to a girl that had mental health issues, and I was kind of trapped in a duty/ obligation thing. But I binned her and never looked back.
Even in the darkest days I don't think I've ever sat and worried about reinventing myself or start a new adventure. I'm not really sure what that toss means. Just look at what at what makes you happy and what doesn't and then do some actual stuff that moves you to happy. Some of it is painful and difficult stuff to sort. But if you spend all your time hand wringing and not doing much, then stuff won't get better. Chin up chap, and crack on. Sounds like you have a lot of stuff you should be grateful for.
