People who don’t put OUT OF ORDER signs on vending machines that they know to be broken should be fed to a tiger.
someone did not get their daily fix of coffee/chocolate/condoms/fags
it does rather limit the options for more heinous crimes though.
maybe we could have a sliding scale from
being licked by an anteater
via being sat on by a Baboon
through to being fed to a tiger
?
❓
Grrrrrrreat!
On the drive home at lunch I followed a yoof in a hoodie, atop a trials bike belching so much smoke I thought it was on fire at first. No number plate, no helmet (unless he was wearing a crash hoodie I suppose) and I'd like to bet no insurance, MOT or driving licence either. Pass the tiger when you've done, would you?
Seriously though, how do these little f'kers get away with it? I've driven without insurance once in my life, by accident, 200 yards in a 20 minute gap between two "successive" policies, and I managed to get pulled over to the tune of 90 quid and six points for my troubles.
Aren't baboons pretty violent?
A tiger (angry baboon for minor offences) based justice system may be what this country needs. Maul some respect into them.
I suspect that the level of repeat offenders would be low also.
Still my favourite ever Sport headline.
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The sliding scale is a good idea
A kestrel hovering, worryingly, over one's salad for a minor misdemeanour.
Being eviscerated by a post-hibernation polar bear for a graver offence.
Think of the poor bloody tiger. Why on earth should it have to eat random people? That's not fair.
Where does Having fruit hurled at you by a Gorilla fit into the sliding scale?
^^ what's Terry Tibbs got to do with anything?
^^ what's Terry Tibbs got to do with anything?
That, is Rod Steiger.
"90 quid and six points for my troubles"
Is that all? A friend had to pay £1000 and 10 points, also for genuinely forgetting to renew. He can barely afford car insurance now, poor chap.
Handcuffing to a billy goat?
Is that all? A friend had to pay £1000 and 10 points
Ouch. I wonder why the discrepancy? This would have been about 15 years ago, maybe they've tightened up since then? Or maybe it was different circumstances.
I can assure you though, "is that all" wasn't the phrase that lept immediately to mind at the time.
Who's Rod? Why does he called Terry Tibbs Tiger?
I personally feel that the Honey Badger (officially the [b]HARDEST[/b] animal in the world) is an underused method of dispensing justice.
Although a spell in a sack with some disgruntled ferrets could be a daunting prospect that would make people think twice.
Although a spell in a sack with some disgruntled ferrets could be a daunting prospect that would make people think twice.
Back when I was a student, that was the very definition of a successful night out.
*struggles not to post link to The Daily Mash*
*fails*
[url= http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/pit-bull-owners-to-have-testicles-chewed-off-by-their-own-dog-201008022964/ ]pit bull owners to have testicles chewed off by their own dog[/url]
Put their hands into bullet ants' nest that will learn them.
😈
When you watch those police programs all the narks who get caught for doing properly serious things like driving a red fiesta or drinking too much beer always end up with either a warning or nothing at all.
It's a joke.
Baboons would need to be just a notch below the tiger as a apex dispenser of justice, given that they are pretty intimidating creatures and [i]always[/i] have at least a hundred of their equally tough friends with them.
... they also have pretty massive jaws, with huge bite force. Although some of the hominid primates are larger of course, none of them have a muzzle like that.
I have been thinking more about Tiger Justice...
It will always involve a tiger, but the severity of the offence is reflected in the amount of time that you have to spend in a confined space with it.
Not putting a post-it with NO CUPS written on it on the vending machine = 1 minute.
Littering = 10 minutes.
Kiddie fiddling/murder etc = A week.
Chipperfield's Circus could do a nice line in state executions during their winter down time.
What did Seigfried and Roy do that justified one of their own tigers being set on them ???
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/02/siegfried-and-roy-return
all I can think is 'har har, serves you right' !!
feeding people to the tiger takes any fun element away from the tiger. it should be allowed to hunt them down in the dark, just to heighten their pant-shatting experience
drinking too much beer always end up with either a warning or nothing at all.
Most accidents are caused by sober people ,they are the ones who should be taken off the road
But, what heinous crimes would lead to you being bummed by a honey badger?
*shudders*
But, what heinous crimes would lead to you being bummed by a honey badger?
My vote is car / bike theft. Before the public bumming by a Honey Badger takes place, the victim of the theft gets to decide how much sharp sand is stirred into the Vaseline.
Harry_the_Spider - MemberI have been thinking more about Tiger Justice...
It will always involve a tiger, but the severity of the offence is reflected in the amount of time that you have to spend in a confined space with it.
You could always use drugs as well -significant mitigating circumstances the tiger gets some valium. Small amount of mitigation - give it some MDMA ( an amorous tiger?) 2nd offence or aggravating circumstances it gets amphetamines or vodka and red bull.
Depending on the crime, various parts of the body could be covered in beef paste and the tiger sent to lick them off.
Reapplications of beef paste for really severe crimes and a sandpaper finish
Grrrrrrreat!
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Quirrel - Member
Depending on the crime, various parts of the body could be covered in beef paste and the tiger sent to lick them off.Reapplications of beef paste for really severe crimes and a sandpaper finish
That reminds me of a story.
Google this... but not at work
[b]ricky martin dog licking[/b]
It could be turned into a sport like the Romans did and also create jobs by build modern coliseums and all the tv revenue etc. Would be rather good watch the scumbags receive their sentence. There would have to be a cut off for post 9pm though for horny Tigers!
We could put all the people who have been on Big Brother together in the Millennium Dome with a small number of tigers and film it. The tigers will feast on a few of them initially, but once sated they will probably sit back and chill for a day or two. The excitement will come from filming the whole thing 24/7 and the anticipation of the moment when a tiger gets hungry again and restarts the hunt.
[i]“Day two hundred and seventy four in the big tiger house. Chantel is hiding under Wayne’s body and Mandy is continuing her screaming fit from her perch in the rafters into a fifth week. Another pate smeared car thief was introduced to the arena last night so the tigers are currently resting. Edgar is beating on the diary room door but hasn’t worked out that we’ve welded it shut. Who will be the next to have to run to the food collection point? You decide!”[/i]
Can i nominate the neighbours who keep using my bins instead of theirs for some animal related justice?
Perhaps something involving a rabid sloth...
