[Closed] doorstep evangelists

generally not, just a polite no thanks no saving required.

In all honestly I've lost count, but I think there are about 23 of them buried in the back garden. Nobody ever comes looking for them, you know?

Nope. I start polite. If I have to continue I'm not.

I used to be rude. 🙁 Now, I try to spare some time...

But I still can't work out how a chat can give someone faith. It's either there or it isn't, surely?

[i]not all tattooed skinheads that live on council estates need saving..[/i]

unless you're actually in 'their' church I think you'll find they think you do. Whether you do or not.

this is brilliant;

They are only superficially polite, the whole concept of them knocking on doors to save the unwashed heathens within is rude, disrespectful and arrogant.

Same as any unsolicited callers, just shut the door in their face. I'm not wasting any time / words on them.

In all honestly I've lost count, but I think there are about 23 of them buried in the back garden.

This is no laughing matter. Have you any idea how high your soil nitrogen levels are going to be? You'll never get anything to grow.

I generally just say 'no thanks' and close the door. Back in my student days the done thing was to ask them to hold on then go and tell a house-mate there was someone at the door for them.

You need the molgrips magic back garden storage container. they'll fit in their nice and neatly. Like sardines.

I'm always polite, even to the charity chuggers who come to the door. Can't actually remember the last time an evangelical type came to the door, but I guess I'm usually at work.
Just say no, kids!

Theres a jehovas churh done the road from me, and i think i've been black listed.
Seriously, they don't come round at all anymore. 😀

[i]the whole concept of them knocking on doors to save the unwashed heathens within is rude, disrespectful and arrogant.[/i]

Not really - it's all part of the delusion of what they believe.

I had a couple of old fellas round recently - I said "No, not interested" and one replied "You're not religious at all then?" - They gave up on converting me and the other bloke went on & on about the next door neighbour he knew who died.

the whole point of 'evangelical' religions is that you go out and convert people.

My 75 year old Mum's a missionary and regularly goes to India, the Philippine's and Africa to convert people.

I think she's given up on me and my siblings and is casting her net further afield.

By 'sparing some time' you are wasting your time & theirs. Their aim is to convert you: If you aren't going to be converted what is the point in continuing the conversation?

You're making the assumption that he hasn't been 'saved'

[img] [/img]

Just ask them in to keep hold of the goat so it doesn't knock over the candles at the points of the pentagram on the floor whilst you get naked, slaughter the goat and rub it's blood all over you

[i]You're making the assumption that he hasn't been 'saved'[/i]

if he was in 'their' church they'd know him.

If he isn't then he hasn't been saved 'properly' would probably be their view 😉

They stopped coming round after the 10th time I shot one of them in the nuts with a woodlouse loaded air rifle. 😈

Don't engage with them with anything like 'I'm an aethist' etc because then they know that you've considered it and made an opinion and will keep coming back to convert you. I did like to goad them when I was a student though opening the door and saying 'so what are you peddling then?' was a good starter followed by odious sexual questions about what and what isn't a sin, and wether god thinks we should all enjoy ourselves so how can any act which gives us pleasure be classed as a sin? etc etc. Do slugs go to heaven? what about cows? aww c'mon cows are nice, I love beef, why are they excluded from divine (bovine? lol) grace?

Is Woppit on holiday? He'd normally be all over this sort of thread...

Slugs?? In heaven?!!!!! Noooooooooo - I don't want to go now!! Please say it's not true.

they're really just salespeople though aren't they..?
looking to swell the congregation (and coffers) at their church to fix the roof or whatever..?

selling salvation..?

I think my idealistic outlook prevents me from seeing this clearly..

By 'sparing some time' you are wasting your time & theirs.

Aye true enough.. I think I end up trying to 'save' them though.. it's a doorstep save-off

My father's tactic - say "I'm just listening to some music, we can talk when it's over. Do you want to come and listen" - "Yes, sure" - "It's the Ring Cycle, I'm on disc 2". *Turns music up very loud, relaxes*

LP Side ends, they draw breath "I'll just turn it over"

LP Side ends "Next disc"

repeat.....they leave.

He put some Jehovah's Witnesses though that twice, they stopped coming back.

is this really such a big problem for people? I think I have only had evangelists visit my place once or possibly twice in my life.

I live next door to one. Every so often he will bring a conversation round to whether or not I'd like to go to his church. I didn't mind the first time but after repeated attempts it does start to feel a bit like his disrespecting my choices. Still, we move house later this year so he'll have a new target for his converting ambitions.

[i] If you aren't going to be converted what is the point in continuing the conversation?[/i]

To have a conversation?

[i]they're really just salespeople though aren't they..?[/i]

Not really - they call it missionary service. They think they are helping. They actually believe this.

Meaner tactic best reserved for Salespersons - Keep a pack of fake/prop blood handy.

When you see them through the keyhole/spyhole apply liberally>open door>extend hand>"I'm a bit busy right now do you want to come back when I've finished, eerm, what I'm doing"

Does anyone spare some for these folks or do you give them a hard time..?

NEVER GIVE AN INCH.

MrsGrahamS made the mistake of having a polite chat with a door-to-door bloke from the Jehovah's.

She wasn't remotely interested in joining, and made that clear, but did want to find out about their beliefs regarding blood transfusion, surgery, transplants etc as it is something she occasionally has to deal with at work.

They had a nice chat and he left her a bunch of leaflets.

Then came back with a DVD the next day.

Then returned the following week to ask if she'd watched it yet.

Then again the next week with a book.

Then again the next week..

And again...

And again..

He'd clearly built up a little fact file on us because every single polite conversational throwaway remark was stored and recited back to us weeks later.

Bit creepy really.

[i]He'd clearly built up a little fact file[/i]

they keep diaries and revise before a 2nd/3rd visit.

It's designed to win you ever prove they have shown an interest/remembered you.

I can see with the lonely and vulnerable it's quite effective if someone turns up, calls you by name, remembers what your dog is called etc.

Win people over and then get them into your gang/religion by stealth.

2 young lads (late teens early 20s) dressed in suits got talking to me on the bus a few years when i was heading to a band practice before playing a gig. They tried to get me to invite them into the studio then comp them tickets!! Probably should've. This is(was) us....

Felt more like Mafia-style persuasion to me:

[i]"And how's your daughter? Sophie isn't it? She's getting to be a big girl now isn't she? Going to the heathen school soon? Be a shame if anything were to happen to her..."[/i]

(or at least it would have done if not delivered by a wet flannel of a man).

Bit creepy really.

Imagine how you'd feel if you talked someone down from the edge of a multi-story car park. Imagine how high on life you'd feel knowing you'd saved someone's life. That's the high they're going for, delivered by a few choice knocks and ready-written pamphlets.

Lazy evangelists, go help someone.
And I mean help, not prey upon.

First, you tell me why all other religions are wrong.
Then I'll tell you why yours is too.
.
Can't remember who said that, someone famous.

The last time we had a visit (going back a good 7 years now!) was whilst I was in the middle of sanding our floors. So I answered the door covered in saw dust wearing some dainese leg armour, some Fox goggles and a dust mask. I don't actually recall saying anything to them before they left...

They came round to see me while my gran was over having tea. She was a 'lovely little old lady' who really wouldn't say boo to the proverbial goose.

I was trying to see them off, politely, when she came to the door behind me?

"Are they Jehovah's love?"

"Yes Gran"

She motioned me to one side, took my place at the door and said:

"Jehovah's Witness eh? Well, I have only got one thing to say to you lot"

"Bugger off!"

I was as shocked as they were. They left and it turned into a sort of Life of Brian moment as she walked back into the house muttering.

I find that turning the tables works very well.
Many years ago I was washing the car when the gaggle of JWs came up the road, split into pairs and went to each house in the street.
After working out exactly who they were I proceeded to try to convert them to UFO-ology. 45 minutes later, the car was clean and they couldn't get away fast enough.
The next time they came up the street they definitely avoided our house. I was so tempted to wash the car again. 😈

I walked down the stairs in my student house to find my housemate starkers in the doorway chatting to some mormons about theology in a bad german accent. He'd seen them from his room, stripped off and invented his persona of Günther the naturist on the way down the stairs.

He was normally a very reserved chap so no idea what led to it.

Just had my very first JW visit. I feel like I've joined some kind of club 😀

I keep a beheaded chicken and a Ouija Board handy for such occasions. Invite them in - set it up etc and ask who they would like to contact.

Seriously though, the couple of JW's that used to come round every so often have stopped coming since my rather odd neighbour invited them in. He hardly lets anyone in to his house (including the police) so we were surprised by this sudden show of hospitality.

They left about 45 minutes later looking rather shaken. I wish I knew what he had said to them...

A very quaint couple, recently retired at a guess, have been round a couple of times this summer..

I've entertained them a bit, had a listen, asked some polite questions, explained a bit about my thoughts and made them giggle.. Mostly in the spirit of letting them know that not all tattooed skinheads that live on council estates need saving..

you lonely then and in need of company.
😀

disappointing, I thought this was a barefoot running thread

😀

A couple of Jehovah witnesses came round a few weeks with the normal set up of the good young woman groomed to remind you of the film Witness and make you have depraved thoughts, plus of course her minder.
I was outside fiddling with the bike at the time, so the 'no thank you' and shutting the door option was gone.
So I genuinely tried to engage them on the ideas of Deism vs. Theism figuring that at least it might be an interesting conversation whilst I adjusted the rear mech.
Didn't go well as they had never heard of the words before, which I found a bit depressing. Poor kids sent out to convert but without the means to even have a useful discourse on their world-view.

I don't get them very often, given that I live in an area with a large Muslim population.

Couple of anecdotes I remember, going back a few years:

I was woken up one Sunday by persistent doorbellage. Hung over with eyes like pissholes in the snow and breath like a dead skunk, I hauled my broken body out of bed and almost fell down the stairs, got to the door to find the obligatory Jehova's Sith Lord and his Apprentice.

Their opening gambit was "tell me sir, what do you think is the main cause of the problems in the world today?" I replied, "lack of sleep on a Sunday morning" and closed the door. Was quite pleased with that one.

On an earlier visit I thought I'd try a different tactic. "No thanks," I said, "I already have a faith which I'm very happy with."

"Oh?" they said, "which one would that be?"

"Shit," thinks I, and blurted out the first religion that came to mind. I think I said I was a Baptist or something.

They then proceeded to tell me exactly what they thought of "my" religion, how it was inconsistent and various other negative things. I said yeah, that might be true, but at least we don't go round door-to-door slagging off other people's belief systems.

From experience though, the only thing that really works is a polite but firm "not interested" and closing the door before they can get a word in. Accepting their propaganda pamphlets out of politeness just encourages the buggers and you'll never be left alone.