[Closed] dodgy office goings on

Compared to some of the stories on this thread mine is more disturbing than dodgy, but anyway here's mine.

Whilst working for Local Government in a large (approx 200 staff) building we had some rather strange posties that would deliver the internal mail.

One particular chap was commonly referred to a the whistling postman. I discovered the reason for this upon walking into the men's toilets one day, where I discovered him stood at the urinal, both hands behind his head and whistling loudly while having a wazz.

Now luckily I had the option of using the cubicle but he did join me mid flow on more than one occasion when its a lot more difficult to escape.

Christmas... This is fairly tame, but it amuses me...

First christmas in a new job, and I really liked the office crowd, so having a great christmas do. Then the boss got a call from his boss, who was also out on their christmas do, more or less commanding him to come over to theirs. He asked for a bit of moral support and since he's a top guy, me and another feller went along...

Got to the other party and it's total chaos- 6 middle aged women pissed out of their skulls, falling over in the street, trying to fight the bouncers that had just kicked them out. And my boss's boss standing there going "AH good. Reinforcements. Help me get them in taxis?"

So we did- next 20 minutes was herding cats, great fun, flagged taxis and bribed them to take the casualties home. Last one's away and... Where's my boss's boss?

Turns out that as soon as we arrived, she jumped in a taxi and zoomed down to [i]our[/i] christmas party! Meanwhile we were dealing with the aftermath of hers.

Management.

Following on from Pooks original theme and including a bicycle.

My mate Pete, a legendary bishop basher was out and about in the quiet little hamlet of Queensbury delivering the Sunday papers on his drop handle. As he cruised non handed down a foggy Fleet Lane his 15yr old mind drifted onto his favourite subject. It's a long road so he decided to see if he could knock one out before he hit the High St.
To this day he is not sure if it was him or the elderly female dog walker who screamed the loudest 🙂

ononeorange - Member
docstar - that article is surely made up?! Termon****in? Plunkett? It's straight out of Father Ted, surely?!

I was working one day cabling cat5e in a Housing Executive building(dunno if you have this on mainland uk but civil service) and the guy answering the phone was really short sighted and used one of those large font keyboards and had to have his face right up to the screen to see what he was doing. He would answer his calls and ask the caller to hold, he then lifted a mobile phone sized object up to his face pressed the screen then resumed his call and put the caller through to whichever dept they wanted. I thought this was some kind of sight aid he used to look up extension numbers but no he was having a game of snooker on his iPhone and wasn't even trying to hide what he was doing from the others in the office.

Great thread - well done to the OP for starting this one.

Here's my ones....

Our former MD was known for having a penchant for younger ladies, he was in his 50's, they were in their 20's - it was well known round the office - one of my colleagues even managed to find his profile on sugardaddy dating.

At a works Christmas do one of my colleagues was chatting to the MD's daughter (who also happened to be a director of the company) and asked her when the baby was due. She had been expecting, but had given birth about 9 months earlier, still hanging onto a bit of a post pregancy belly. Strangely enough she actually left the company before my colleague did.

Finally we were asked by a customer of ours to test/review a new product from a supplier. We wrote a less than favourable review about the product, which lost the supplier some sales. A while later our MD and the MD of the supplier were at a sales conference. The supplier MD had a heated discussion with our MD at the end of which he was invited outside to "sort this out properly" - some careful work managed to prevent this happening.

Eddie stobart wagon swerving all over the M6, as i passed i could see him knocking one out at the wheel.

Wasn't a ginger wirey bloke by any chance?

I once made love to a beautiful woman (the wife.....my wife) whilst working late at the office. Without going into the details we did it on all 3 of the directors desks , and inadvertently left a splash of baby gravy on one of their desks. As I sat opposite him in the office , imagine my disgust as I watched him lick a tissue and wipe off said stain from his desktop..... ( the next day of course)