As a mental health nurse..
Medication works for some but there's lots out there and finding the right one for you isn't easy. Talking works for some. Diet exercise and sleep hygiene works for others. Sometimes what worked before doesn't work now but it may work again in the future.
1 in 4 will experience some kind of mental health problem at some point in time. Accept it.
Aphex. What to do you mean by sleep hygene? Clean PJs? 😉 (serious question, however)
That was part of the problem as that was all she was ever thinking about and it just became a negative spiral.
Which is one of the reasons I tend to try and avoid talking about it. I know from experience that one of the best ways to avoid falling into a deep dark hole is to just ignore it and try and find something else to occupy myself with. I'm sure avoidance isn't necessarily recommended, but at the moment it's the best coping strategy I've come up with. If I was feeling really down I wouldn't be replying to this!
Of course a lot of my issues are all linked up with stuff discussed in that article binners wrote. I know getting out riding helps me feel better, but when I'm down that's the last thing I want to do (and even if I do get out I can end up thinking too much about stuff and not feeling any better after a ride). Though the worst is days like today when I'd like to get out, but I've a long term niggling injury which just seems to be getting worse if I keep going I know it's not going to recover. Hence I'm doing no exercise and not feeling happier for it - fortunately I'm not all that down, though as above from experience I need to get my exercise habit firmly in place before I do get there as otherwise it's far too hard to get going.
Oh, and for me at least the drugs did nothing - which is depressing in itself. Not that I'd want to put off others from trying them as it appears they do help some people (I suspect it depends what's at the root of your depression).
Ta!
this might be a bit of a long read....
i suffered what was diagnosed as an episode of depression a few years ago...triggered by the build up of quite a lot of things that gone on in my life...
while at uni my dad suffered a major stroke that left him paralysed down one side and unable to talk...me and my mum ended up caring for him...whilst juggling my studies and 2 part time jobs....after i graduated the care for my dad continued, but it was having a really tough effect on my mum...then my dad passed away a few years later and it was just me and my mum, but she had become frail as the years passed. i then got married, but as my mum wasn't well we put off the honeymoon until she got better. 3 months later we went on honeymoon but halfway through got the call that she was in hospital again...for some reason i knew something was wrong so we caught an emergency flight back...we went straight to the hospital to see her and she seemed fine...she was happy to see me but told me off for coming back...we went home but just as we got in we got a call from the hospital telling us to get back asap...but it was too late as we never got back in time...my wife had found out she was pregnant the week before and we decided that we would tell her when we got back from our honeymoon...i never got the chance though...
after my son was born i started a new job but the pressure i was put under was immense and that's when the cracks started to appear...up until then i'd kept everything bottled up but the stress i'd put myself under over the last few years was starting to catch up with me...up until then mountain biking/football/gym were my releases but after getting married/ birth of my son my priorities changed which meant i didn't do this as often...after my mum died i stopped everything altogether for a few years, gained 2 and a half stone and lost contact with a lot of my friends (i just didn't want people to see me like this)...
work initially didn't understand what was going on or how they could help me but with me on the verge of a full on mental breakdown finally relented and started to ease my workload and gave me the support so i could go and get counselling...
i was prescribed anti-depressants but i refused to be hooked on treatment drugs so went for the long hard route via non-medicinal treatment...
fast forward another year or so and i'd switched positions at work and managed to find the right work/life balance and things have been good now for the last 4 years...
i come from a big family (7 siblings in total) but I've never told any of then about my depression as i don't think they'd understand it...sometimes i think that they may have also been part of the problem as they left me to deal with all my parents' problems by myself....only two of my brothers helped out occasionally but as they'd decided that i would be the primary carer that i should be responsible for it all as opposed to having too many people involved...
i still get the occasional bad day but when this happens i manage to find the time to go for a ride and try and get it out of the system then talk it over with the wife...
i felt really bad for my wife though during that time as she tried to help me but couldn't as we didn't know what my problem was...but she's stuck by me through it all...
depression is a hard thing to talk about as many people don't really understand why it happens or what it can do to a person...until they've suffered it themselves...
i come from a big family (7 siblings in total) but I've never told any of then about my depression as i don't think they'd understand it
You may be surprised- I was
i come from a big family (7 siblings in total) but I've never told any of then about my depression as i don't think they'd understand itYou may be surprised- I was
i've tried to talk to my brothers and sisters about it in the past but they've always given the impression that emotional issues are all in the mind and that you should just "get on with it"...so i've never bothered to tell them..probably as there would have been very little they would or could have done to help me...
xcgb - Thanks for the link, I'll have a read this evening.
I reckon the way forward is to get the self esteem/confidence thing sorted (looks like counseling/CBT is common treatment) then improvements in socialising/friendships/relationships, avoided atm, would lift the depression.
TuckerUK - MemberSince moving to Norfolk (chance of pace etc.)
Me too (moved back here for the same reasons about 4 years ago)
Life is a sine wave and the amplitude and frequency of the ups and downs are individual to us all.
I realise that I learn nothing while I'm surfing the crest of the wave. I am endeavouring to view the periods in my life when I am what I define as seriously depressed ( around every 7 or so years), as a time for me to feel okay about feeling incompetent, a waste of potential and pissed off with everything. That acceptance almost immediately eases some of the low feelings. I also remind myself that it will not last forever and that with time, I will start my upward trend again.
Each time I have found new realisations about myself and my world. Each time I have discovered new and different coping strategies, from counselling to Reiki to spirituality. We are all different and at different stages in our emotional lives, what works for one, may not be the most appropriate for another.
As a footnote, bearing in mind that we are all different, I do consider that the very likely cause for all depression has much to do with the repression of our true selves, so caught up are we in the ways of modern life and the pressures we choose to take on.
Peace, love and joy to all.
I've had several episodes of moderate to severe depression since I was first diagnosed 20 years ago. Over the years I've found that plenty of exercise and plenty of sleep are really important for me, and I cope with it better than I used to. I have tried various SSRIs at times, but only fluoxetine really seemed to work and was helpful if I was really down in my "black hole". Unfortunately, I've developed some intolerable side effects to it in recent years, so I have to cope without meds now. I had CBT about 6 years ago and although I didn't think it worked at the time, I found myself using what I'd learned a couple of years later!
TuckerUK - MemberSince moving to Norfolk (chance of pace etc.)
Me too (moved back here for the same reasons about 4 years ago)
Had grandparents that lived here. We love it. BUT, ****ed if I can find paid work. Not exactly conducive to mental well being!
Depression here, too. Never been on drugs and will resist them if I can. CBT worked for me during a bad bout, but it doesn't fix the underlying issues, so I am now paying to see a therapist every week. Been doing that for a year now and it's slow progress, but I think I'm getting somewhere!
Raises hand. Suffered with it mildly in 2009, and have been suffering with it big time on and off for the past 8 months. The last month has been better though. I should probably swallow some pride and speak to my gp at some point.
I'm always happy to talk about it tbh but it doesn't tend to come up in everyday conversation. I understand why people are nervous of discussing it though.
I'm lucky, I guess, in that with me it's always had a specific cause that could be got past- once a bad injury, once a bad life situation. First time round I resisted medication and regret it massively, second time I resisted medication and it turned out to be the right choice, so that probably tells you any advice I can offer is useless...
I think I've been on the cusp of depression for a few years and was actually going to make an appointment with my GP a couple of weeks back. There is a history of It in my family and my wife has had problems since her dad died at 53 ten years ago.
My problem is I get fairly low and find myself moaning at my kids which is pretty unfair and go through bouts of lacking interest in anything going on around me. Cycling helps as If I can get out for even an hour of cycling as fast as I can (not fast) on my mtb or road bike I get a lift for a wee while. Im no different to others in that I worry about cash , work , family and weird things like pipes bursting and other random incidents. The thing that puts me off AD's is that I might be on them for life , years ago I looked into Meditation as I was reading up on Buddhism so maybe thats something to look back into.
Bit of a rambling post I know.
years ago I looked into Meditation as I was reading up on Buddhism so maybe thats something to look back into.
Haha, I went to a Buddhist meditation class last week, nearly had a panic attack!
But I've been told its probably worth persevering with, but probably better to do it in my own time.
Get well soon OP.
Not had meds for years but needed them at first.Not for me in the end.
Cycling was/is a better treatment in the long term imo.
I don't like to talk about it tbh , I recognise I'm susceptible & quietly manage things.
Citalopram here since last november - dealt with the panic attacks fine but feeling a bit of an empty void at the moment - not up or down but a bit of an automaton so back to the gp shortly. Still with Siegfried Sassoon at the moment!
'Life, for the majority of the population, is an unlovely struggle against unfair odds, culminating in a cheap funeral'.
Meditation is good. I can recommend the iPhone app Headspace - really works for me.
doesn't just about everyone get depressed at some point?
a few years ago i hit a real low. couldn't stand talking to people (even more so if i didn't like them in the first place), would suddenly start to cry for almost no reason in the daftest of places (supermarket, bus, even at a meeting with a client?!). i don't know exactly what triggered it. perhaps it was a feeling of lonliness which is certainly how i felt despite having my GF and friends around me. maybe it was a feeling of not knowing what i was doing with my life....
one of my cousins was diagnosed as being depressed and spent years on mood altering drugs (Prozac?). at the time i was certain that i'd never end up in that position.... being dependant on pills (not that i'm adverse to drug taking per-se, just not so keen on the prescribed stuff) didn't seem like much of an alternative.
so as i felt myself slipping away i decided i had to change my situation. along with my bike i went back to the UK, more for a change of scenery as much as to see my folks and family. i probably wasn't the most pleasent person to be with so i took my mum's car and drove around the country for a few weeks. i cried then, too, when watching the sun go down over the Dales, or when having a pint in a pub in Suffolk. during my jaunt i met up with an old friend. it was during this time with him that i felt myself change back to the "old" me.
i think the reason for this is that he was such a useless, umming'n'arrring, driveless, unhappy person that it helped put my situation into perspective. i also decided i wouldn't spend any more time with him and haven't bothered to see him since, but that's perhaps another story.... after that incounter i went back to my folks and immediately booked a flight back home and got on with my life, concentrate on the 80% of my life that was good and either improve or try to change the 20% of it i didn't like, to no longer surrounding myself with lame arsed people who dragged me and my positivity down.
i'm not embarrassed about it. i'm happy to speak to anyone about it. maybe i didn't experience full-blown depression, perhaps because i could feel myself slipping, but i think it has helped me know who i am and what is important in my life....
but it also got me thinking.... are we programmed to always be happy? how do we know we are happy if we are never unhappy? surely unhappiness is a part of life that we have to deal with. and i'm not sure that drugs are the answer. obviously i'm no doctor, but isn't it better to change the balance in your life rather than in your brain?
there was an interesting thing about depression on R4 by Will Self about SSSIs and how common they've become over the last 30-40 years. perhaps in the past we were more inclined to "just get on with it", to grin and bear life and only those that were really screwed/depressed/having a breakdown ended up with some sort of treatment. are doctors now too eager to prescribe something physical...?
Been having issues since I was about 18, I'm almost 40 now.
It's funny how this thread came up today as I've just this morning gone back to the doctors to ask about increasing my dosage of Sertraline.
There are many people who sound like they've had absolutely horrible things happen to them, whole series of things. For me, I'm one of those who theoretically, has no real reason to be depressed. I just.....am.
Had an amazing weekend on the bike, most people would be buzzing and full of laughter etc, I just felt hopeless last night and this morning, hence the doctor visit.
Have an interesting job, great friends, adventurous interests, and yet, often I feel utterly hopeless. It's horrible really and I don't have the answer.
Wish the OP good luck getting to where you need to be. Hopefully you're one of the ones who finds the solution sooner.
I've had two serious bouts of depression since 2000. The SSSRIs helped get me functioning again. Shift work for 20 years was behind the first bout and I had 6 weeks out of it while the drugs got to work and I could function again. I climbed and visited most parts of the UK to play in the great outdoors every other week for 5 years, came off the prozac after 18 months.
A change of job and my daughter attempting suicide had me off the rails again. Citalopram worked to get me going again and thankfully I was laid off as the recession bit in 2008 as the job wasn't helping. If I hadn't had a full breakdown I would probably screwed my employer to the wall for their poor handling of mental health issues and discrimination. 18 months unemployment helped me see the wood for the trees and I've got my priorities right now.
I now work in a lower stress environment, I'm responsible for more than in the last job (go figure) but the work is more varied and the team is great. I've been off the drugs for 2 years now and apart from being a bit more emotional things are going well now.
OP keep the doctors appointments, I had to force myself to go sometimes and don't be afraid to ask for different drugs if the first, second and third ones don't work. There is a huge book of medical sweeties the doctor can consult and getting the level right can take time. (6 weeks initially and up to this for each change afterwards). If you have older relatives they will not understand and fret that you'll get "addicted". If you can let them see you really down they will understand (my dad found out when I curled up on his sofa on a visit and didn't want to go out with them).
Good luck, and it's important to remember "that this too shall pass".
You're amongst many, so don't feel alone in it.
This, there are many out there. Myself at times included.
Sometimes I think this is part of the problem when trying to talk about it. You try and open up to someone, awkward, raw, distressed. But the person your trying to talk isn't doing any better and can't handle your problems as well as there own.
I never went onto meds, perhaps I should have.
In the end I ran away from my problems. Literally, it worked in the end.
Finding those little joyful moments out in the mountains, gaining perspective. Rationalising. Sorting of the mind and all hat guff. Odd thing is, given the chance to go back through it, I'm not sure I'd opt out if depression. It's left me with a depth I might not have developed without it.
I'm still a bit of an arse, but a well meaning one.
I once read something saying it was anger turned against oneself. Not sure if this is true though and thankfully I just read this out of interest. Also offending any sufferers is not my intention. As with anything I guess there's a whole host of reasons, as well as solutions.
I am 99% sure I suffer from it, leaving me closed off emotionally to friends and family, often resulting in me losing my temper if someone just asks how I am or offers help with something.
An interesting thread. I seem to meander towards it in some ways. Its weird though, I am very reticent to admit to myself that I am depressed as it feels a bit like trying to cling onto a religion or something !
But I am and I do suffer from it so need to take control of it.
There is an embarassment factor. I have nothing at all to be depressed about. I do however put myself under extreme pressure - less so now i approach 40 but definitely pressure. I have never really known how to relax and worry a lot about stuff that is not actually controllable - to me that is the difference. Worrying is worrying, worrying about worrying is what leads me to being depressed. I charecterise it as having no drive or enthusiasm to do anything and looking for all the reasons not to. HIstorically that would be a mtfu and stop moaning conversation with myself. But actually no, this is not how it is. nSHeesh I dunno. But i do need to do something about it.
doesn't just about everyone get depressed at some point?
No.
It's all to do with early life experiences (before 7 I'm told) which shape our coping mechanisms. Just as with physical challenges, some of us are able to cope with far more than others. Some may go through life being able to cope admirably with anything life throws their way.
Some of us are less able to cope, and may falter at seemingly insignificant life events.
doesn't just about everyone get depressed at some point?
Down, yes. Clinically depressed , no. I can't compare my own small, infrequent episodes with what my sister experiences and puts up with. She's got help that gets her by.
Good luck BTW
My second post on this comment so hopefully I wont repeat myself , Im 41 so the same age as a lot on here . I pretty much ragged recreational drugs from the age of 17-25 and had bouts of depression that resulted in me moving from North East Scotland to London and back to Edinburgh in 1999. I doubt this has much to do with me feeling down from time to time in 2013 but certainly ****ed me up back in 1995.
So what makes people down in 2013? , as I said before im 8 years off paying off my mortgage but have an overdraft and CC debt thats not major but still nippy.
I love my wife and kids and only want to see them grow older , be happy and give me grandkids.
I think the for me the main question is do you 'Fire on' MTFU or face facts and see a doc to sort you out. ?
Some of us are less able to cope, and may falter at seemingly insignificant life events.
What if (unlike many, but not all who seem to have issues with depression) your depression is because there are things wrong in your life? Just how insignificant does it have to be to be something you're supposed to be able to cope with? I think I know why I'm depressed. I wish there was a way to not be depressed with my life, but I don't think it's going away until I make some major changes. Which is a bloody hard thing to do when you're depressed (and you've not found either the drugs or counselling to help much).
TuckerUK - Member
doesn't just about everyone get depressed at some point?
No.It's all to do with early life experiences (before 7 I'm told) which shape our coping mechanisms. Just as with physical challenges, some of us are able to cope with far more than others. Some may go through life being able to cope admirably with anything life throws their way.
Some of us are less able to cope, and may falter at seemingly insignificant life events.
Just to say depression is not always triggered by 'life events' necessarily I don't believe, it can be experienced without any 'bad thing' happening. I don't know why I feel like I do so often, I just do. I wish that I could pin it on to something terrible that has happened....but there isn't anything really, not compared to some folks.
Probably an un-popular post coming
My Dad had depression for 10 years, from when I was about 10 onwards. He was very clever at hiding it from the outside world. It was triggered by him losing his (hi flying) job - but it was always a bit stroppy so I could see why it happened.
For every that is depressed, I feel very sorry, I hope you get through that dark place. But do not think that you are the only one's suffering.
My father was (what would now be) termed abusive to the family. Mainly myself, my mother and my sister. Violence, tantrums. He could never be challenged about any decisions, or else a 2 - 10 day "sulk" would begin.
He got through it, started to work again. But my relationship with him was forever scarred. We lived in London at the same time for a while, and that help reposition the relationship. He was an old guy who I was fond of, cared for ... but that unconditional family stuff - nah!
He nearly drove my mother nuts (literally) - she would call in the GP when he was in the pit, and he would be all smiles. And tell the GP it was my mum who had the problem.
He died two years ago - I'm sort of sad we never had that really close bond but the whole trust thing had gone, and I was weary of him. He was still prone to mega sulks, if thing didn't go his way ( and going senile really brought those out)
All I will say , is that you are a sufferer, go and seek help because you are really screwing up those around you. It is not just about you. You are not suffering alone, no matter how self involved you are.
The irony of all of this, is that my sister seems to be a sufferer. But is in complete denial. And now , as now live 1 km away, it is beginning to mess around with my life again. I have tried to broach the subject, gone as far as getting professional advice - everyone says "do nothing" as it will make the situation worse.
Just as with physical challenges, some of us are able to cope with far more than others. Some may go through life being able to cope admirably with anything life throws their way.
Some of us are less able to cope, and may falter at seemingly insignificant life events.
I disagree. Neuroscience is suggesting severe mental health problems are a brain function, accompanied by an emotional reaction.
Some people suffered with mental health problems for years or most of their lives. I certainly wouldn't put these people in the category of " less able to cope" or coping " less admirably".
Worth checking that vitamin levels are optimal.
Wow!
Just logged back in and read all the comments i wasn't expecting this many replies but i guess thats my ignorance of how widespread this is.
Thanks Guys its helped to know your stories good and bad and i hope it has helped others realise that thee is treatment that works and there is no shame in asking for help.
Cinnamon girl - yes I am taking vitamin B as i read it can help as a mood lifter
thanks again all of you! 8)
Thanks Guys its helped to know your stories good and bad and i hope it has helped others realise that thee is treatment that works and there is no shame in asking for help.
Indeed.
And first step taken ... just made an appointment with my GP.
Birky
That is great so glad to hear it 🙂
It is indeed good to talk!
Good for you Birky.
I'm sure all the comments on this thread are well-meaning, but a few of them indicate just how often depression is misunderstood.
If something goes wrong with your stomach, it affects your digestion.
If something goes wrong with your heart it affects your circulation.
If something goes wrong with your brain, if affects your thinking.
I expect it's a bit more complex than that, but the point I'm trying to make is that it's an illness, [i]not[/i] a weakness.
My psychiatrist says there's a lot of it about right now, due to the economy, demanding employers etc. So you are definitely not alone.
Peronally, I've found that recognising and confronting the problem is the best thing you can do. Sleep hygiene is a very big help to me. I'm also on SSRIs (Zoloft). I'm ill. It's a drag sometimes but it's not the end of the world. Despite what my head tries to tell me sometimes!
I'm sure all the comments on this thread are well-meaning, but a few of them indicate just how often depression is misunderstood.
Agreed, 2 months ago I would not have understood either,now i do.
though I find it hard to say the D word now as it is. Hate it .
maybe it should be renamed fluffy brain or something! 🙂
HELLO EVERYONE 🙂
My mind is relative. It likes to compare things to other things to get a grasp of what's happening. Depression suppressed any good aspects of anything and exaggreatted the bad. I would then get lost in my mind, focussing only on the bad and spiralling deeper and deeper into this irrational world I created in my head where everything was bad. This would happen in the car. On the bus. On the sofa next to someone I love. At the pub. Halfway along some singletrack. [b]I wouldn't even notice it was happening.[/b]I would drift through my days in this daze. I thought 'other people aren't like this'. I realised I was depressed.
Although my mind is the gateway through which I experience everything, it isn't the only thing in the world: Food and sleep are necessary. Forcing myself to eat and sleep was my number one priority. No matter what happened in my mind, I needed to eat and sleep.
This gave me something absolute, a grounding, something solid against which I could fight any bad thoughts.I realised I was wrong, there [i]were[/i] other people like this. There were other people who were depressed, and a lot of them are doing very well.
I read Simonofbarns(?) mentioning CBT on here. I looked into it, but I could never find any 'instructions'.
I started reading classic philosophical novels and opened my eyes to the fact that there are so many different ways of looking at the world. There isn't one fixed viewpoint, there are hundreds. I considered lots of them - but I wasn't searching for the right 'religion', 'life philosophy', or 'spirituality'. I just realised that there is more than one way to look at the world. Having depression tinge everything [i]wasn't the only way[/i].So, I began to fight it. Everytime I realised I was having depressed thoughts, I would pause and tell myself that a depressed outlook was no more valid than a happy one - I was simply having depressed thoughts. I would then reconsider the good aspects. Try and see them through the depressed fog. But as I mentioned before, I would slip into this depression without even realising it, so spotting that it was happening was the hardest part. It still is.
Once I spot it though, I'm fine. I bring myself out of it by reminding myself that I need to be my own friend.
Basically, it's unlikely any of the above will work for you, but I found that taking the time to examine myself and the thoughts I was having worked very well.
Hope that helps
I am, depressed that is, and I have been for the last 10 years.
Seems so long now that I find it difficult to remember what It was like to not be depressed in some way. I did spend an awful amount of time a few years back being bounced around different medical types who had different takes on what it was and how to treat it.
At the moment, i spend inordinate amounts of the day in a mood that ranges from sarcastic, depressive, obsessive, argumentative, quick to temper amongst others. What I do find difficult is finding a happy mood for any length of time. I'll get an idea in my head (for example, I might learn how to ride a motorbike) and obsess about it for hours if not days then all of a sudden, after deciding to change everything about myself to fit into a mould that I believe you fit in to, will talk myself out of it.
It affects my work, my chance of moving forward at work, my relationship with my wife and how I am with people.
On the bright side - My doctor is taking it seriously and has referred me to the psychiatric nurse (?) at the local hospital. Also after hours of checking my symptoms online (the weirdest lately, electric shocks in my hip) have pointed me to Generalized Anxiety Disorder - for some reason I need to give it a name.
Not wanting to talk about it seems to be one of the symptoms - I've got it in my head that people would get sick of me talking about it.
And I can't even get out on the bike because my back wheel is knackered 🙄
Redsox
that sounds pretty tough, from what I have read though it should be treatable you just need to find what works for you. At least you are having treatment so there is hope
some good info here
http://www.depressionalliance.org/
Good Luck - I feel for you
