[Closed] Defecating in disgust.

Nothing makes myself defecate in disgust more than people reaching out to me and using pronouns incorrectly.

Standing, waiting, in Waitrose at the till whilst next to me is a flaccid pale incarnation of a human being buying a copy of the Whailing Daily.

Billy Joel

Tom Hanks

Tanwall tyres.

Remoaners.

Labour voters

Roadies.

People who defecate in disgust.

I shouldn't read threads like this as it starts a particularly messy cycle of pooing and self loathing.

Leg shaving lycra wearing male cyclists.

The thoughtlessness and selfishness of the human race mostly.

People who label genuine concerns about the future as "Project Fear".

At least the M&S underwear department will have an ongoing customer...

I've never lost control of my bowels due to disgust.

But I think I was touching cloth t'other day when I heard Cher's sonic butchery of Abba's back catalogue.

That ,rude people , brexit , racists ,bigots,homophobes ,Trump and fly tipping all make me very unhappy.

Were you wearing your gimp suit when that happened?

@ wwaswas

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😬

Fear is what makes me s**t myself. But the amount of litter and the general publics attitude towards it makes me really angry .

Maybe it's a spiritual thing.

That Naked Attraction programme. I'm not sure if it's the content of the programme that covers my sofa in rapid bowel evacuation, or the confused state my brain gets into when fellow human beings (I think they are) are prepared to humiliate themselves in such a way. I've caught the programme twice now following the stoppage of a Sky+ed thing and both times I've sat there in my own runny brown effluence, far too slowly reaching for the remote control. Off, please fingers, turn it OFF!

There is something about large warehouse shopping outlets that makes me want to empty my bowels within 5 minutes. I make a point of going before visiting B&Q/Ikea and the like, but still feel the need to go as soon as I step foot in them.

Scat is your thing DezB?

That Naked Attraction programme.

A curious phenomenon indeed.

Invariably the most attractive person on the show is the wifey who presents it who , somewhat ironically, never gets her kit off.

Having said that, my wife watched almost an entire episode before she realised one of the blokes on it had a prosthetic leg.....not a flesh coloured, realistic looking, fake leg either, a full- on, polished metal , robotic Terminator leg.

Scat is your thing DezB?

It's really not. Voluntary or involuntary. Not my thing at all.

People parking on grass verges.

Literally: nothing so far

Figuratively: almost everything these days

interestingly (or not) I became aware of the word 'defecating' from the Fugees song 'Ready or Not' where Lauryn Hill defecates on your microphone.

Lauryn Hill defecates on your microphone

I'm still not changing my answer to Drac's question.

I thought that was Missy Elliot?

Lauryn Hill defecates on your microphone

Does she?

I can't say i'd noticed, but I have been busy dressing up and pretending to be a 1930's Chicago gangster boss.

DezB earlier...

I thought that was Missy Elliot?

could have been, it was over 20 years ago.

pretendending to be a 1930’s Chicago gangster boss

Frank Nitti?

Not sure who does the line, but it is Fugees
So while you're imitating Al Capone, I'll be Nina Simone
And defecating on your microphone

So it's actually Nina Simone doing the pooing

When I caught severe food poisoning or virus and current music one hit wonders.

So it’s actually Nina Simone doing the pooing

surely it's Lauren Hill pretending to be Nina Simone, while pooing on your microphone.

Naked Attraction...end of the world stuff fo'shure....

Every time I see / hear Corbyn on TV I'm closer to making a claim on my DFS Sofacare policy.

If indeed she is [i]pretending[/i]. I've just read the whole lyrics and it's a really crap song. Written by 4 white song-writers amusingly enough.

Who woulda thunk the Fugees didn't even write their own raps eh.

Are we speaking literally or figuratively?

By some bizarre coincidence, this song has just come on the radio ( Absolute 90's)

By some bizarre coincidence, this song has just come on the radio ( Absolute 90’s)

by another coincidence, the Fugees and/or Lauryn Hill have a marked laxative effect on me and by an even more bizarre and cruel twist of fate, the only record I have 2 copies of is the miseducation of said picolax impersonator

<makes noise like a rubber balloon flying across the room>

football.  moreso football fans.

Lauryn Hill defecates on your microphone

My kinda gal.  😗

Brexit

Naked attraction on the otherhand, hubba, hubba !

kimbers likes shaved willies?

Lauryn Hill defecates on your microphone

My kinda gal.

I'm told by American friends that that's a Cleveland Steamer

I've just pooed.

Non functioning forums seem to be another of mine.

<div class="bbp-reply-author">DezB
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kimbers likes shaved willies?

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bit of regrowth rather than full..........

Is that the fella from this week's edition?

Nicola Sturgeon.