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Shibboleth - MemberAm I the only person that has concerns about dating another cyclist? Maybe the odd easy spin out to a country pub on a summer's evening would be nice, but for me, mountain biking has always been my opportunity to be all blokey with other blokes, urinating with wild abandon and discussing the merits of ladies' special parts.
I fnd this attitude really strange - why would you not want to share and enjoyable part of your life with your partner?
Exactly TJ, though it's not a must. This girl I'm with now plays tennis and even though it's her thing, i'll play the odd time with her.
I've convinced her of a trip to Scotland including bike hire for the weekend! 🙂
[i]I fnd this attitude really strange - why would you not want to share and enjoyable part of your life with your partner?
[/i]
Goodness me !. I am going to agree with TJ 😯
😉
The Ex and I did as much together as possible.
I chose her company over all others.
But when that couldn't happen, friends picked up the slack, as I'm sure I have for my mates.
Felt balanced in a way that suited all parties.
🙂
We are not joined at the hip and I am able to ride without her. simply put its "I am going for a bike ride - do you want to join me?" she says yes or no
I agree with Shibboleth on that point, its important to have some different pastimes and time away from each other, not that I would exclude a cyclist, but I would still expect to do most of our riding separately.
A couple of rides a week I count as "me" time, I just go out by myself and ride, it helps keep my head clear and stress free.
The [b]Ex[/b] and I did as much together as possible.
I chose her company over all others.
Kind of highlights the possible folly of that approach 😉
[i]Kind of highlights the possible folly of that approach[/i]
Yeah, we were only together for 21 years.
Barely enough time to get to know each other and find out what worked for us.
🙄
TandemJeremy - Member
I fnd this attitude really strange - why would you not want to share and enjoyable part of your life with your partner?
I certainly wouldn't say it's "strange" TJ, but you always did have trouble understanding any view that differed from your own. 😉
I ride with a big group of blokes and there's a bit of an unspoken rule that it's a blokes only group. I suspect it would be frowned upon if one of us turned up with a lady, not just because of the blokey juvenile crap we come out with, but we all ride hard and fast and the chance of meeting a lady that would keep up would probably be quite slim.
I can just predict there would be those awkward instances when a mountain biking lady might expect to be invited along.
I certainly wouldn't rule out someone on that basis, and as I said, social rides out would be great. But going out for a proper competitive lads' lungbuster, complete with all the angry shouty sweary blokiness that goes along with it is something I'd always want to keep separate from "another half".
My previous LTG and I used to sail/race together in Dinghies. We'd Club race and do the Nationals and stuff, and whilst in the main it was super enjoyable, we'd bicker like kittens on quite a few occasions. In some races it'd spoil our racing, on others we'd never say a word to each other and do well, on others we'd just giggle and do quite well. There was no logic for our mood/compatibility whilst in race mode, we never just cruised around, all our time was racing. So, would she want to cruise around, nope, me, nope, we really were far too competitive for mucking around.
Now then, you'd think a very common interest between us both would bring us together, unfortunately after 11yrs it eventually split us up, that and a few other things tbh (but I'll not go into them here)
It's a common symptom this arguing lark, most of my mates have issues with sailing with partners and most have stopped doing just that, they now sail alone, it's just the way it goes.
Now cycling and MrsBouy don't really get on too well. She's into walking and scrabbling up mountains, me I prefer riding them, but we mix up a love of the outdoors and have a happy o'l time doing it. She has been on a spare bike of mine, has hinted about getting something specific for her, but I'm a little reserved about it, she can make her own mind up if she wants/buys one or not. I'm happy either way, I love riding, love riding with mates or solo, not that bothered, but if she wants to do the offroad stuff I do then I'm going to have to think twice about taking her along.. I've yet to take her "offroad" and I'm not too sure how she'll be with me when I'm in offroad mode or in roadie race mode for that matter...
So, we'll see. I'll not pressure, she'll take her time/she’ll choose.
I'm happy, she's happy.
I just recently resubscribed to Fitness Singles.
I had a message from well over a year ago, which I couldn't read at the time as I wasn't a paid up member then, so I replied anyway, 'cos you never know what's happened in the meantime.
I also wrote to the best of the currently active members, who, by coincidence, lives in the same town as the other one.
After a couple of emails, it turned out they had the same surname too.
I'd been chatting up two twin sisters at the same time. 😳
I'd been chatting up two twin sisters at the same time.
Haha, you should have kept going, tested out that "special bond"... 😉
I don't know what the twins expected to happen. Wouldn't be embarassed for that, they're probably well aware of the potential mixups and are having a giggle about it.
My friend and I were both on there, we had some of the same guys contact us (nothing wrong with that BTW), we did find it worthy of a few laughs between friends 🙂
Shibboleth - and with that attitude I can see why you are single.
If any potential life partner has to take second place after your lads time then any relationship is doomed.
To make a relationship work takes compromise and goodwill. 30 years we have been together. I can have my lads time and she never stops me from doing anything I want but it is inconceivable to me to exclude her from anything
TandemJeremy - MemberShibboleth - and with that attitude I can see why you are single.
🙄 As I said earlier, you really do have a massive problem seeing other people's viewpoints, don't you.
I sympathise wholeheartedly with what bikebouy experienced, and I can easily see how it could become problematic.
I'm single through choice, and the only reason my biking habits haven't become a problem is that I haven't met any biking girls that I've wanted to date.
I'm very happy that you've been together so long, at least you've not been spoiling another couple!
[i]If any potential life partner has to take second place after your lads time then any relationship is doomed[/i]
this is so much crap. MY GF and me have hugely different interests, OK she rides (roadie) and reluctantly runs occassionally, but she loves nothing more than reading a book about maths or physics with nothing but the ticking of a clock as company, if I start playing the guitar or put music on she gives me *the look* LOL, or shopping, she LUVS to shop drives me insane with boredom, so i go out with my housemate or his friends to the pub or cycling. I luv her desperately and so does she, but we realised that we have different interests. Our relationship isn't doomed!!
I agree 100% Emsz, but you're wasting your breath - it's the TJ way or the highway! 😉
Seriously TJ? Seriously?
Ha, Nearly all of my biking mates laugh at me when I say I'd like a woman who's into biking! I'm starting to see their point too because unless the lass was fast and technically able, would you want to be having to wait for them every 5mins? I guess that's why TJ's bike is made for two! 😆
Also, I don't think he's particularly technically able... 😉
Surely the important thing is to have [i]some[/i] common interests, and not be identical in every way. My partner skis pretty well, bikes a bit lamely. I ski quite a lot with her - but go away on other trips too. Ride with her only occasionally. And I don't go to her book group and never knit. Kids and other stuff we share. Somethings I deliberately avoid taking up to give her some space.
So the truth may be a little bit less clearcut that [b]TJ[/b] claims, after all - his wife doesn't post on here often does she? So even he appears to have an unshared hobby 😉
In this case surely the question is how attractive MTBing is to a girl, either to do as a dating activity, or as something which suggests the OP is fit and worth a shag? And you won't get those answers here.
My oldest son had the insight recently to tell me that my ideal partner would be a bloke with a ****, does this make me bisexual? 😕
Computer dating tip #1 - only reply to winks etc from matches that interest you - plenty of nutters as well as fish in the barrel
Edit - hmmmm **** doesn't quite make that clear does it...
The common ground is keeping fit and active and doing 'sports'. Doesn't really matter what they are, how often they happen, or if you choose to do them together.
I'm still waiting for Jessica Ennis to call me.
Woody - I may have the wrong end of the stick, but do you have a Raleigh Maverick?
Going back to dating tips - if a guy asks for a girl's phone number, then he should ring her 🙂
stood up?
Wear your lucky red pants . Simples innit? 😀
emsz - Memberstood up?
Not yet! Just waiting!
I went to the first of 35 rock and roll dance classes last night. :-/
There were four too many women so we changed partners every few minutes. Now if I'd been on the pick up rather than enjoying an amusing evening with madame it would have definitely been a "bon plan".
Lady G, cool, have a lush time 8)
[i]Going back to dating tips - if a guy asks for a girl's phone number, then he should ring her [/i]
Well, count yourselves lucky as I almost never post here on W/Es'.
😉
Totally agree.
Infact. would you mind popping round to the brewery tap and telling that to the bar maid I asked out 4 weeks ago.
I did't ask for her number, but gave her mine instead.
😉
It just isn't that simple. Is it.......
To those who are single.
Good hunting.
To those who are not single.
Good night.
😉