[Closed] Critique my lawn

Worst pumptrack ever! 😡

It's taking shape nicely.

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Nice rockery! It's really starting to take shape

Pump track!

How many bodies have you got under there?

That pick won't support a wall for long..

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Ground looks stony.

And why's your door half-way up the wall?

I've got [i]really[/i] long legs.

Pump track!

(somewhat ruined by the second pic 🙁 )

Did you nick that pink shovel from the pink house?

You'd think the ice cream pink was the most outstanding feature of that house wouldn't you?

No. The 4 foot porcelain Alsatian in the window steals the show.

Still, people know where I live with little explanation:

"Oh, by the pink house?"
*sigh*
"Yes. Next to the yellow one, Mine's the unconventional brick colour"
"Why have they painted it pink?"
"I don't ****** know!!"

No. The 4 foot porcelain Alsatian in the window steals the show.

That might just beat the 6ft gorilla statue that resides at the entrance to a gated property down the road. They even have a ******* knight in armour beside the front door too. WTF?

Thats just reminded me I saw a gorilla outside a house the other day. Think I might have been riding near Garforth, Leeds but I might be mistaken. Proper WTF moment!!

Deliver grass seed to:

Mr B. Necessities,
Chocolate House,
Neopolitan Terrace

Make sure you leave enough room for your neighbour to drive his van across the corner of your new lawn.

Where are the leylandi going to go? 🙂

Worst lawn ever

You need to put the kitty litter IN the trays.

Sorry to be a bit negative but all that work hasn't really improved it has it? More like just moving it all around... 😉

"Why have they painted it pink?"
"I don't ****** know!!"

With the colour of your brickwork, and your immediate neighbour...

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?

You are going to *HAVE* to call your house 'Neapolitan House'

I dare you to paint your house like the love child of the neighbours in mr blobby spots.

Also no points for not encroaching your garden into the street to reclaim a bigger foot print.. it's not too late to grow a nice hedge that overlaps the street by a good 2 foot though.

Maybe influenced by Chelsea?

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CHARLATAN 😡
Who's bloody mixer is that! 😉

😀 Bloody immigrant petrol mixers, nicking all our jobs etc.

Someone's gonna come a cropper on that rake

I preferred it before

Worse garden ornaments ever!

Now you have shown us your back passage...what is your plan for that?
Is it for everyday use?

Can you sort yer windows out please....they are upsetting my equilibrium! 🙁

Are these guys your landscapers??

WHERE'S THE LAWN??!!!

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That lawn is so bad that I can't even see the bike in the photo! 😡

Lawn?

Got to figure out where I'm going to plant one or two of these bastards first...

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Over-boxed much?

Two fat green snowmen in big planters??? 😮

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Meh; y u no Flemish bond in a matching brick?

How did the rest of the house survive the nuclear blast?

Have faith drlex, have faith 🙂

*craps pants at the thought it might not all work *

Brick colour

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Drive colour

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..and that's as much as I have to go on. So it;s anyone's guess as to whether it'll work. So far the engineering bricks blend into the edgings nicely, the rest I won't know until it's all too late.

I'm not trying to match the dark and mildly depressing house bricks - why on earth would I want to do that? I'm trying to brighten the place! 🙂