Is it something to do with old age? Turning 45 this year and my brown shouts are more frequent than ever. I’m not kidding, they are loud and often and it’s getting worrisome.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my trouser howlers a great deal. In fact I could say I relish, nay celebrate them. But I’m afraid when lockdown ends I may never be able to be in polite company, as it will turn into loud and trumpy company instead.
This was going to be a 2 part (fart?) question, as I was concerned that the smell had also gone, but joyfully over the weekend I managed a few eye-peelers after consuming a more than usual amount of Bran Flakes and sirloin steak, so at least that aspect of my buttock guffaws can still make its presence known.
'brown shouts'
'trouser howlers'
'buttock guffaws'
'eye peelers'
You've been spending too long reading the Profanisaurus
‘brown shouts’
‘trouser howlers’
‘buttock guffaws’
‘eye peelers’You’ve been spending too long reading the Profanisaurus
See also;
Bum burps
Trouser trumpet
One cheek sneak
Etc
I have found that as time has progressed , you can put more effort in for a triumphant release without fear of follow through. Since turning to a more plant based diet, the frequency and length of said bottom burps has increased somewhat.
Its only fair in these times to drop a Covid symptom test between the sheets first thing in the morning. Its not long before receiving a spousal confirmation that we have the all clear. 🙂
See also;
Bum burps
Trouser trumpet
One cheek sneak
Etc
We just call it a Captain.
Rhyming slang innit.
Now you have the extra capacity, time to go for a tune
We just call it a Captain.
Rhyming slang innit.
If anyone has young children, point them towards Operation Ouch.
The presenters are doing Facebook streams and have come up with the absolute classic of shouting "Covid Test!" at the top of your voice while farting, the louder the better.
It has been adopted as standard protocol in this household.
Must have missed that episode. Need to look for it
I did a buttock wobbler last week which, no lie, lasted 5 full seconds. My wife and I were in stitches about it.
Nice to get a personal record in lockdown, will feel like I’ve achieved something.
67 year old lentil eater here. Just revel in your new found voice.
lasted 5 full seconds
Those are rookie numbers!
Just revel in your new found voice.
Until your new found voice produces Revels.
Are you on dry January by any chance? I've found that over the last couple of weeks I've released a fair few window rattlers. Caused the cat to jump on occasion! I would say however that there is a certain satisfaction to be enjoyed in an operatic anal announcement.
I once made one of my kids throw up after polluting the house with a toxic gas escape.
I was one of my proudest moments.
lasted 5 full seconds
Those are rookie numbers!
Indeed, I achieved well in excess of that in a chemistry class!
The phrase 'smuggling ducks' was coined on STW about 12 years ago, in the thread where someone's 4-year old son walked into first day of school...
...and said to the new teacher "pull my finger Miss".
The oab_clan still refer to duck smuggling regularly.
Multitonal is the best effort, I managed to make 3 note changes once and laughed for a good 20 minutes
As an ibs sufferer there have been times where I’ve *almost* had enough of farting. A couple of evenings ago I was waking myself up every 30 minutes throughout the night, I was shattered the next day
Who doesn't love a proper ripper?! 😂
Especially if you time it for somewhere with an echo 😈
Farts can be used to kill
couple of evenings ago I was waking myself up every 30 minutes throughout the night, I was shattered the next day
Surely you'd only be properly shattered if you'd followed through?
Unless he was trying to clench too much, once the pressure reached terminal levels that would shatter.
I miss the ability to let one rip. Really really miss it 🙁
Knowing I'm going to have to pass through life never letting a proper trouser ripper go is a sad thought.
So to all those that still can. Enjoy each and every one you deal 🙂
One of my rippers once caused my lad and his mate to sit outside the tent eating their cereal one drizzly, cold morning whilst on a camping trip to Cornwall.
He still remembers it from nearly 15 years ago. As do I as I'm hugely proud of it.
The yearly trip to Cornwall was always on a budget so I lived on huge cans of Lidl chilli con carne for most of the 2 weeks.
Alexa...pull my finger
This might be TMI, but after a bout of bedroom athletics, something to do with the motion, or maybe even the 'hydraulics' often has the effect of creating some absolute rippers, like tearing a heavy velvet curtain.
I've been married 20 years now, with older kids, and I don't get to fart anywhere near as much as I used to.
The oab_clan still refer to duck smuggling regularly
Ditto in the FB household. Have also introduced it to the Scout Troop on camp!
Danny I’m sure we can all brew one for you!
Until your new found voice produces Revels.
I think you're confused, they're coming out a Treat.
67 year old lentil eater here.
Are they not a bit dried up?
theotherjonv
Full Member
This might be TMI, but after a bout of bedroom athletics, something to do with the motion, or maybe even the ‘hydraulics’ often has the effect of creating some absolute rippers, like tearing a heavy velvet curtain.I’ve been married 20 years now, with older kids, and I don’t get to fart anywhere near as much as I used to.
Assuming you are the perpetrator of said farts I've tried gaming this scenario in my head and I can only think your Mrs is using a strap-on with too much lube?
what are you folks eating!?
67 year old lentil eater here.
Are they not a bit dried up?
Ah, I suppose that could explain it.
Multitonal is the best effort,
