That time of year again for my black dog thread.
If you’re struggling at any point, need a break from the hustle and bustle, need to talk to a random stranger on the internet, then, as always, this is the place for you.
It’s a tough time of year for anyone who struggles with their mental health, family issues or other health concerns and financial worries.
Going to be a tough one for me this year due to poor health in the family.
Remember it’s ok to be not ok.
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Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).
SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).
National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7).
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.
The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994 (3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.
Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (weekdays 10am-10pm, weekends 2pm-10pm and bank holidays 2pm–10pm), email pat@papyrus-uk.org or text 07786 209 697.
Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.
Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email chris@switchboard.lgbt or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.
C.A.L.L. If you live in Wales, you can call the Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L.) on 0800 132 737 (open 24/7) or you can text 'help' followed by a question to 81066.
Helplines Partnership. For more options, visit the Helplines Partnership website for a directory of UK helplines. Mind's Infoline can also help you find services that can support you. If you're outside the UK, the Befrienders Worldwide website has a tool to search by country for emotional support helplines around the world.
The numbers above are taken from here:
I hope you all have a good Christmas as you can, and here’s to a great new year
Cheers for the thread Houns. It’s a tough time of year for so many, and the perma-jingles on every radio station all the time this month seem to make it worse. As though, if you’re not feeling it, you’re the odd one out and the fault is all yours.
Roll on February.
I hate Christmas....
Dont have a problem with hating it...
Leaves me in a balanced position...
Excellent thread, great idea.
I'm fine. This time last year I really wasn't.
Winter solstice on Tuesday then we're on the way back to the light.
We can make it.
Thank you OP
Great post, thanks Houns.
It’s a tough time of year for so many, and the perma-jingles on every radio station all the time this month seem to make it worse.
BBC Ashes coverage (TMS) as an antidote. Hope and despair in equal measures.
Great thread Houns.
Winter solstice on Tuesday then we’re on the way back to the light.
We can make it.
Very much my view. December is always a dark and stressful month for me, literally and mentally. Solstice is when I "know" things will start to lift, New Years Day is the realisation of that symbolism for me, a fresh start, whatever the new year holds.
Just for anyone having a particularly bad time of it at the moment, the feeling may last longer than it should, but it is temporary. We all have Peaks and troughs, and some might be bigger or deeper than others but tomorrow or the day after will be better, just hang in there and talk to someone, even if it's someone you've never met before.
This is great. Thank you.
Thank you. When I'm down I struggle to leave the house - Its good to remember that even black dogs like being taken for a walk or a ride.
Likes. Christmas messes with your head
Many thanks for this Houns.
Much as I dislike the Christmas period, I dislike myself more for (unintentionally) bringing everyone else down to my level this time of year.
Thanks. Not feeling even remotely festive this year, but not feeling particularly depressed either. This is the first time in several years that I've felt so positive so late in the season. This isn't me rubbing it in - it's me saying that it's not always going to be bad. This time ten years ago I was mentally drawing up a pros and cons list of different ways to end it all.
I love this thread.
Nice one houns.
Solstice is passed, days getting longer. Hang in there all.
i have had a weird year, where anything that could go wrong has, but weirdly i have managed to see the positive. Caught COVID and felt really ill leading to it attacking pancreas and giving me T2 diabetes (been tested in past due to family history and fine and hba1c levels shot up following virus) but to combat it, i have lost 11kgs in weight and feel better than i have in a long time.
Then a heating pipe burst in concrete floor, followed by insurance contracted plumbers being so bad that the flooding spread to most of house.... they did so badly that compensation money and a lot of work by me, means house is completely remodelled and now just how we want it...
So i suppose my message is, 2021 has been a really pants year for everyone whether you are prone to the black dog or not, but we are almost at the end and here's to the future.
And if anyone is ever in North Norfolk, whilst we dont have much mountain biking, we do have some good cycling and some great beaches and my door is always open...
Thank you Houns. Great idea and very needed. Like scud says. It has been a 50% good year juxtaposed with 50% horrible for me. I really don't know what to make of it. Eternally grateful for all the good things that I am blessed with. However, for the first time in my life, I am struggling to see the positive in situations. It is terrifying and my first experience of having a dash of the dog.
Luckily it is not bad. Enough to make me realize how awful it must be for some. Thanks for the space. It is great to be able to come to the forum and realize I am not alone.
Thanks for making the effort Houns, some useful numbers up there.
Great thread
Great thread Houns, I could write pages but, as above, all this shall pass.
If anyone needs to speak to a stranger I'm up for a PM at anytime.
I’ve been a member for years, not a regular as I drift in and out, but popping on now primarily to ask a question (another reason I love this group for the knowledgeable responses on pretty much anything) and seeing this thread really does show what an amazing group of folk singletrack magazine has created with these forums.
Good service (of posting this)..........
Few days ago I read a quote that goes something like this "Holidays, the time of the year where happy people gets double happy while sad people get triple sad". Made me think about it for I while......... now, I don't feel sad but when I think a few years back at least for me it was true this quote.
If anyone wants to talk just reply to me
Y'all take care!!! 🙂
It's telling that the default HMRC screen saver has just switched to a reminder of mental health support services available at this time of year, internal and external.
(another reason I love this group for the knowledgeable responses on pretty much anything)
What do you mean, "pretty much"? How very dare you. (-:
Here, listen, I've just had an idea. I was going to make an offer but suddenly thought, maybe others might want to do so also.
I'm in East Lancashire. I have tea, coffee, beer, Xbox and cats. I can't do "moving in for three days" because myOH would kill me, but if any local STW denizen needs a change of scenery for half an hour, hit me up. Christ, I could even chisel my bike out of its carbonite block.
Anyone else anywhere else with a hot kettle and a sympathetic ear for someone who won't overstay their welcome? (-:
#TotallyOutOfMyComfortZone
#TotallyNotAHigherFunctioningSociopath
I,m nowhere near so don't panic.Could do with some support mind after a difficult year.I suppose battling on is the only real solution.Hang in there folks.
I’m in East
LancashireCheshire. I have tea, coffee, beer,Xboxandcatsa dog. I can’t do “moving in for three days” because myOH would kill me, but if any local STW denizen needs a change of scenery for half an hour,hit me uplet me know.
I'm in, but 'Hit me up'? FFS 😉
Another kettle and coffee machine available in Suffolk. Could even manage a bike ride but it is STW and we don't do that type of thing! There's also a very large and cuddly spottydog either as a warning or an attraction, you decide.
The kindness on this here forum never fails to warm my heart. 😊
Thoughts are with all those struggling, or even just feeling a bit down. Spring will come and clouds will pass.
In between Derby and Nottingham. Happy to be contacted if people need to talk, online or in person.
Pretty sure my posting history will put them off though.
Great idea for a thread. This forum (and mountain biking in general) has at times kept me going through some rough patches over the past few years. Just a really nice group of people on here who are all on the same wavelength.
This year's been a real crap one but I'm definitely in a better position mentally than last Christmas. Buying a new bike last week might have something to do with it. Sometimes you've just got to treat yourself.
Many thanks you guys.........
I'm in North Worcestershire, on the outskirts of Solihull - I have a dog that needs walking and plenty of places to walk him, if anyone wants to join us. Holler.
You 'may' have to listen to my pathetic inarticulate rants trying to put the world straight though.
A combination of work and Covid, means another christmas on my own as I'm not travelling to see family. Last year was fine (I went up Scafell Pike on christmas morning). This year is a struggle. I'm injured and feeling pretty low, not looking forward to the 25th at all. Anyone else on their own?
Meeting friends tomorrow, which will help.
Great idea for a thread. It feels good to vent.
This year i put some thought into why i really dont like this time of year, and especially xmas.
Limited daylight hours, its cold and rains alot.
My family are more like random acquaintances i bump into every 12 months.
I know they aren't, but everyone else appears to be loving life and enjoying themselves
I cant get into my mind the joy of a pretend perfect Xmas. So much consumerism and waste and over indulgence.then there's the present buying....
Its cold and its raining.
I feel like a massive failure in front of my immediate family. No wife, no kids, no g/f. Just 1 typically ruinous affair 25 years ago. And nothing since. No big house , audi estate, cat and dog, no career prospects, no ambition, no plans, handful of friends,
Its dark and its raining.
Summer seems light years away,skiing always got me through but my ski buddy died.
Solo holidays are tricky or spendy.
Road driving standards drop as everyone
e is rushing to secure that last bag of sprouts or grab some ribbon or tat that has a 5 seconds attention span then is binned.
Its gone dark and foggy.
The trails are a mudbath and in bike destruction mode. Windsurfing is off the menu as it becomes a survival test and is not pleasant at all. It will take 4 months for the sea to be warm again. My flat is cold, i sleep in a hat, heating is getting expensive.
Covid isnt helping
I have spent over £100 buying stuff that people dont need or want because of some stupid traditions that hold no sense and it will be the same next year
Pointless
A lot of what you've typed rings bells here STM.
The majority of my younger Christmases were spent with my folks arguing and a horrible atmosphere,
I was mid-20'ish when I went to an ex-GF's for Christmas one year and saw that getting gently bladdered on xmas day could actually be a jovial, pleasant activity, blew my mind that families did that.
At 42 the vast majority of my adult ones have been on my own, my folks have re-married and live the other end of the country, they're very much in the 'its just another day' club so I dont really fancy driving 5hrs for that experience, I will call them on the day though. I know there's the folks who love having the day to themselves to do anything they want, but after 364 days of doing everything on your own, all the time, another one aint really something to look forward to, tbh I'd just love to wake up next to someone, get a hug, and they'd say 'sometimes your a bit of a d$£k, but your not a total d$£k', then just have a relaxed day together, that'd be more than enough. When you're in your late 20's / 30's you think it won't always be like this, but now plodding into my 40's I'm thinking what if it is!!!
The cooking for one - solo Christmas shop also puts the fear of god into me, I did walk into Aldi one year, started filling the trolley then couldnt do it, just walked out leaving the trolley where it was and drove home.
So, how to stay positive, I'd usually go for a 50 mile ride or so on the road but I havnt ridden enough this year to be out for more than an hour, tbh my house needs some work, I've bought two tubs of emulsion and some sandpaper - the stairs and hallway are getting sorted xmas day now they're plastered, if nothing else I'll have achieved something and be able to put a positive spin on the day.
Is there anyway you can give yourself something to tick off? Even if it's a tiny job or thing you've been putting off for ages? Might be a daft idea I know.
STM, any chance you could get together with one of your friends for the day? Or how about volunteering at one of the christmas shelters? Sorry if they sound like daft ideas...
My family are more like random acquaintances i bump into every 12 months.
...
I feel like a massive failure in front of my immediate family.
I'd respectfully suggest that these two statements are at odds. Why do you crave validation from people you consider random acquaintances?
Either they are, in which case bollocks to them and stop doing this merry dance; or they aren't, in which case please stop beating yourself up about it.
Family is a funny thing. I have next to none so I'm perhaps a little jaded, but ultimately friends choose each other and family does not, and thus I fail to see any sort of embedded responsibility to 'perform' because someone once had a shag 40 years ago. I spend time with people I actually like and my life is immeasurably better for it.
Thanks all for your posts
I was feeling relatively ok this Christmas, well apart from not feeling Christmassy at all. However I’m just sat in my Nans cold, dark, empty house before my 19:00 appointment to see her in the nursing home she’s in. It’s going to be tough seeing her, always is, but I know I won’t be able to hide my tears this time
