not trolling.
anyway, got to go and write a sincere letter to a friend. Picking the right words will take a while.
See, I wouldn't post platitudes or cliches in one of those threads but I also wouldn't post jokes, tasteless comments, etc. If you can't say something nice say nothing IMO.
Well the original RIP thread (that I din't feel the need to contribute to) sparked the "choices" thread which I'm following with interest and this one; an atttempt at censorship through peer presuure that I'm resisting.
Kit - I give a shit... would you like a hug to help you through these tough emotionally draining times?
TSY - I don't give a shit, do I still get a hug?
If you can't say something nice say nothing IMO.
This
Jeremy. It's "though". Sorry. Carry on
If you can't say something nice say nothing IMO.
Are you still tied to your mothers apron strings? Thats just another tired cliché, usually spoken by mothers too stupid to deal with awkward issues raised by their kids.
MSP - MemberAre you still tied to your mothers apron strings? Thats just another tired cliché, usually spoken by mothers too stupid to deal with awkward issues raised by their kids.
Nah. It's a way of dealing with other people without being a c***. Try it. Most subjects are fine for having a kickabout, but some, not so much. Some people are public grief junkies, others are heartless, thoughtless, tactless idiots. Trick is to be somewhere inbetween.
Yep, Dave you're always welcome to a hug. Especially after going for a swim, a bike [i]and[/i] a run today.
Difficult one this. To am extent, I agree with Stoner. Perhaps I've felt that way since the death of "The Nations Princess". However, and strange as it may seem, I did garner a measure of helpful compassion when I related the death of my parents here on STW - even though most of the comments were from people I have never met.
STW is plumbing new depths over this issue.
All the pish taking and crap jokes about Winehouse I've heard/seen today does make me think- well, what if it was someone close to you? how would you really feel? I don't find it hard to find some empathy or compassion for someone I don't know who may have problems. I'm constantly surprised that people can not.
Just for the OP, and pretty much sums up my thoughts about RIP threads in general:
http://www.emptyplatitudes.com/
I don't find it hard to find some empathy or compassion for someone I don't know who may have problems. I'm constantly surprised that people can not.
Indeed.
to have empathy or compassion is not that difficult unless you're a psychopath, obviously. Empathy and compassion doesnt need an audience.
The need to prance around being ostensibly "empathetic" on a forum which your empathetic target is never, ever going to read, is just an ego trip and an effort to capture a little reflected light. This is not the same as emotional support for someone we do know like druidh though.
Again, it's just another form of snobbery...terms used are designed to elevate the user to some kind of intellectual plane above those who they would view as "grief tourists".
Someone said to me at the weekend, "Did you hear about the shootings in Norway?" I replied, "Yes, awful isn't it, I can't begin to imagine how they must all feel today" (This could be a made-up conversation, but is perfectly feasible).
Again, naturally, you'd probably prefer we all keep a stiff upper lip about it and pretend it hasn't even happened, not mention it, for fear that someone may express sympathy for victims, out loud...OUT LOUD FFS!
this may sound a bit daft to some of the more.. err, stern posters perhaps..
but I'm guessing that when a popular celeb dies, or an islandful of Norwegian kids.. it can briefly touch the heart of some folk, and these threads might just be an opportunity to share a little of that emotion and bond with people that are feeling the same way..
We [i]could[/i] grieve all day about each and every futile death but that would take up too much time and our lives would be filled with sorrow.. so why not take these opportunities to share a little manageable grief together..?
I'm sure that anyone who has attended a funeral service will know that taking any positive experience from a death is always heartily encouraged..
Maybe it can be viewed as an exercise in showing off if you choose to look at it cynically enough.. so what..?
Is it really any better or worse than showing off an ability to build twee gazebo type structures on the side of yer opulent manse..?
Not really.. 🙂
I think that maybe some forum members are desperately in need of a flippin' good cuddle and a sob so that they can release some of that overpowering repression..
The need to prance around being ostensibly "empathetic" on a forum which your empathetic target is never, ever going to read, is just an ego trip and an effort to capture a little reflected light.
Have a look at this thread Stoner, I can't find a single example of anyone prancing around being ostensibly empathetic towards a target who is never ever going to read it.
http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/amy-winehouse-dead-1
Can [i]you[/i] find any examples of people showing excessive grief (or excessive empathy)? Admittedly I only quickly glanced through it, but all I can see are some people expressing sadness at the death of a singer, which in most cases they appreciated.
I think this is another case of people's predetermined opinions not matching the actual facts.
Have a look at this thread Stoner, I can't find a single example of anyone prancing around being ostensibly empathetic towards a target who is never ever going to read it.
this
really sad news. obviously a really troubled soul.a huge talent that produced [b]the[/b] seminal pop album of the noughties.
r.i.p
RIP East Africa famine victims
😯 yes lots of people have died, many more are dying or will die. BUT YOU CAN STILL HELP!
MSP.. eh..?
I think you've misunderstood the meanings of some words somewhere there mate.. your example isn't making any sense.. 😕
If that's the best you can come up with MSP, I'm not impressed. The reference to a "troubled soul" is perfectly appropriate - few people would deny that was the case. And clearly the poster was a huge fan of her's. So what - does that signify 'excessive empathy' ?
That comment is as valid on a forum, as is informing people what you are eating, drinking, and listening to.
RIP The no BS thread
Killed another squirrel this morning... this time in my car.
RIP.
Killed another squirrel this morning... this time in my car.RIP.
Whoosh (again)
you do realise that every time you run over a squirrel God kills a kitten..?
That's not the sound it made. 😥
What sound did it make TSY?
More of a thud. There was probably a bit of a crunch but I was rocking out Classic FM so missed some of the more subtle notes.
And how are you feeling about it now?
No matter what your oinion of Amy Winehouse, whether you have complete sympathy for a lost talent who lived a tortured life riddled with substance abuse and depresson, or whether you think she was a drugged-up loser whos death was inevitable and only has herself to blame - that truth is that this is an open public forum, and (within the rules of those who own and run this forum) you are entitled to comment what you believe and so are the other hundreds of users interested in this topic.
So posting on a public forum assuming that someone else won't post an opinion contrary to your own just shows complete ignorance for how internet forums work.
IMPO - I thought her music, style and choice of boyfriend was awful, yet if anyone knows anyone suffering, has known anyone who suffered from or knows anything about substance abuse, the associated depression and other associated disorders would agree with me that she would have been going through the most traumatic, hellish time of her life, as would those who deeply cared or loved her and tried to help her, and for her life to have ended in this way is just terrible for everyone involved.
Pretty shaken up.
I've been on a bit of a road kill spree recently, couple of weeks ago I got a cat (RIP) so I'd have thought I'd be becoming desensitized now.
I'm not going to flush any more spiders down the sink to redress my karma imbalance. Do you think that'll help?
I'd be becoming desensitized now.
Reads like you already are.
Maybe I'm in shock??
I'll ask if I can have the rest of the day off.
I'll ask if I can have the rest of the day off.
I get the feeling you're absolutely fine about it. Your eagerness to get it off your chest here shows you're dealing with it very well.
Are you not going to offer me a hug?
You know I'd do the same for you.
'excessive empathy'
never said "excessive" ernie. I said "ostensibly".
If [i]you're[/i] going to be so picky on quotes watch out for falling glass.
"Did you hear about the shootings in Norway?" I replied, "Yes, awful isn't it, I can't begin to imagine how they must all feel today"
DD, miles off beam there. There's a massive distinction between showing empathy as part of a conversion and broadcasting trite Hallmark-card nothings to a forum of strangers.
We could grieve all day about each and every futile death but that would take up too much time and our lives would be filled with sorrow.. so why not take these opportunities to share a little manageable grief together..?
Ant that's particularly silly. You rank other people's tragedies in order to give an outlet for your own emotions? Publicly grieving a stranger's loss is somehow supposed to improve your own emotional health? ridiculous.
Yep. People want to display their sorrow on a public forum and then get upset when people exercise their right to say things that might argue against them. 🙄
This is surely a place for debate and discussion and threads which are no more than a condolence book are boring sterile and pointless. If you want to mourn someone without the risk of people questioning your assumptions do it privately.
For the record I was sad but unsurprised that AW died. A real talent wasted, but she had choices and responsibility for her own decisions. The Norwegian kids are a tragedy, but somehow touch me less because we knew them less. Wrong perhaps. The grief some people expressed when Jade Goody (the "people's chav") died I found particularly nauseating.
i'm finding myself agreeing with Stoner, in principle ...
Jade Goody is dead?
ridiculous.
err.. I know you are you said you are but what am I..?
I'm not exactly sure how else best to respond to any of the stuff you're posting.. 😕
I'm not particularly precious about death.. and I don't imagine myself starting RIP threads..
but getting all supercilious over another's decision to do so..?
bizarre
How about explaining why you dont use the death of an alzheimic nonogenarian as a springboard to "share a little manageable grief together..?"
Or does it have to be mass murder to count? Or maybe just a famous person will cut it?
people exercise their right
Tut. Have you not read the recent posts from the Mods? You have no rights here.
People want to display their sorrow on a public forum and then get upset
Actually, there was two sevenths of bugger all "sorrow" shown on the thread in question...equally, if someone wants to disagree with the macho posturing (borrowed from tags) - then surely you have no problem with that either?