[Closed] Best piece of advice that your dad ever gave you?

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'Leave that paving slab alone' 30 seconds later I had a broken toe.

Poor hora Jnr wont have any good pieces of advice based on the evidence so far...

I showed him what it was like to stand on the top tube whilst riding along....

So I get a call from school.... hes fallen off a bike in the playground doing the same.

Dont stick your finger where you wouldnt put your penis. Because of this i still have all my digits despite being a clumsy oaf who works with heavy machinery.

right tight, left loose

Think my Dad has only ever given me one piece of advice.

That was to use a little earwax on the end of a screwdriver to hold the screw on if its not magnetic.

Buy the most expensive house you can possibly afford. Money is so tight now due to my massive mortgage I'm not sure that was good advice at all. Although I'm sure it'll work out in the long run!

Exactly how bad are you at glossing that soffits would look rubbish from ground level?

Do you apply it with a catapult?

"Go and ask your mum"

"Never show fools and children a half finished job"

My dad advised me not to trust 'darkies'. Thankfully I have a completely different view on life than he did in this area...

right tight, left loose

You Dad didn't maintain your bike then?

Marry a woman with small hands.

If you want people to do something make them think it was their idea.

Thinking hard....

Nope. Still nothing.

My grand father actually but: -

When you think you know what you're talking about, go and ask a man who does.

And

Think about where you're putting it, you'll still want to piss through it when you're 80.

Never buy an Austin. Although that isn't really relevant today I am pretty sure it was true at the time because of the time he spent in the garage swearing at various models of BL and Austin motors.

"why buy a book when you can join a library" when I told him I was going to get married , 23yrs on he's still wrong

[i]Thinking hard....

Nope. Still nothing.[/i]

It was probably

"Never spend more than £500 on a hi-hi system, son".

You've just repressed the memory 😉

zinaru - Member

right tight, left loose

I said righty tighty, lefty loosy to my dad once when I was helping him with a door. He said "Where did you hear that?" I said I dunno, the internet probably, why? He said, "my dad told me that." SO WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME? BAD DAD!

Two bits of advice and that I'll pass on

First: "Sell it for more than you pay for it", fundamental business advice that if ignored will be your ruination.

Second this one is mine for my own offspring and any young man about to set out on lifes rich pathway.

"Find a woman you really hate and buy her a house, get it over with early on."

"Buck up son, it's only a graze. You'll do worse than that at some point"

He's got a point to be fair.

Don't be a sheep.

"Take photos of yours kids' party as it's great for memories"

Thinking hard....
Nope. Still nothing.

Stop arguing?

Don't worry about doing anything you'd be embarrassed to tell me about. Just don't do anything you'd be ashamed to tell me about.

on leaving for university in '92:
"Kev, when you're entertaining or having a party, when people arrive be sure to give them a good stiff drink"

Absolutely bang on.

Also taught me how to clear my nose 'footballer style' - I think that is akin to riding a bike or swimming in terms of life importance, and also neccesity to learn as a child! Ever seen an adult try nto teach themselves how to clear their nose? awful!

The only memory I have of my dad is watching his band do an ace rendition of yellow submarine from my comfy spot curled up on a pile of coats under a table in the working men's club after they got back from their Hamburg tour..

I think it's stood me in good stead

"No matter how gorgeous a woman is, she still have 4lbs of poo inside her"

Thanks Dad. Really, thanks.

When I was about 7, my Dad changed the window frame in my bedroom.

"Keep your head out of the way"

Wish I'd listened, because 30 seconds later a large chunk of masonry fell from the window frame and cut my head.

I still have a scar 35 years later.

I can still remember my mum letting rip at him..

Never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your knob

"No matter how gorgeous a woman is, she still have 4lbs of poo inside her"

Thanks Dad. Really, thanks.

Did he say " unless she's from Southport?

"Treat everyone else on the road as an idiot" served me well to this day - thanks Dad

Never had a Dad but this:

Don't worry about doing anything you'd be embarrassed to tell me about. Just don't do anything you'd be ashamed to tell me about.

is rather good. I shall steal it and use it as my own for my son. Thank you.

"if in doubt, give it a clout"

it was with respect to football, but I think it has far-reaching applications.

"never drink in a pub with a flat roof"

"Measure twice, cut once"

Speak as you find.
You reap what you sow.

Dont get an earring, and if your if in a fight with a bloke with an earring use it to pull his <insert profanity> ear off.
West of Scotland stuff 😉

"Second hole from the back of the neck"

Treat all other road users as if they are idiots ...

" If the police ever knock my door and mention your name, it had better be to tell me that you're dead........otherwise you will be"

If you agree something with someone ALWAYS back it up in writing.

That has got me out of a lot of trouble over the years.

Was quite funny when it came to bite him in the arse many years later

Not from my dad, someone else's. Driving advice: if you realize that a crash is inevitable, remember that fields are softer than other cars

Always ask the best looking girl in the room. You never know.....