We should do a worse bike bag airport.
Malaga used to be terrible for that. Someone had to escort you down to the cargo screening because the normal oversize baggage area wasn't big enough to take bike bags (back in those days they were very used to golf bags but not bikes). So there'd be loads of hanging around before some grumpy security person appeared to escort you down seedy service elevators to the XL cargo baggage area.
It's completely the opposite experience now, their new (new-ish) departures area is amazing.
Think you need to separate airport and staff. Bristol – for example – is not a great airport but the staff seem to be missing that ‘passengers are to be treated as stupid cattle’ gene most busy airports seem to spawn.
Really? Never met a bigger bunch of miserable jobsworths. Bag drop empty, take a shortcut through speedy boarding GO BACK ROUND! Go to security, empty, nip under the tape because I don't need an extra 2000 steps to walk up and down and up and down and up and down the line, GET BACK!!
TBF they have chilled out in the last couple of weeks since they put the new machines in (and even started opening the tape to let folk through) but jeezo. Also a crap place to wait with no phone signal (3) and horrifically slow WiFi (if it even connects), they've shut the patio as well so you can't even escape there for a waft of unburnt kerosene.
Worst by a long shot is Jeddah north, old, dirty, too small for the traffic it gets/got and had a fairly intimidating atmosphere (drive in past emplaced armoured cars, air defence systems scattered about and sullen staff). The new south airport is likely to be far better but was barely open when I went through so there was nothing there and then the flight got badly delayed.
Best depends I liked Sälen but mostly because it's small and modern so has the new scanners so you don't have to do any unpacking of carry on. Abu Dhabi looked nice and was good with time to spare but was a bitch to get round on a hot transfer.
Ohh yes i had forgotten about Moscow, that was awfull 25 years ago, wonder what its like today
@squirrelking - maybe it's the new scanners that have biased my opinion. I had to go to Dublin last week and both ends were really chilled out (hand baggage only) except for the poor elderly lady in front of me at Dublin who fell while removing a shoe and knocked herself out!
@crazy-legs - oooh I remember that. First trip after lockdown I think to Ciclo. Massive queue as all package holidays seem to be leaving the same day then an lift down to a strange glass room with the bike bags. Then back up and only 2 passport gates open (malaga used to be permanently on strike!) which made our 3 hour pre-plane arrival only just long enough.
Went through in March and it was great. Still a bit of a hike with bags from EJ checkin to oversize baggage but at least it's all on the same floor!
Used to work and fly out of Farnborough - 10 minutes from home, painless.
Undoubtedly there are going to be worse, but Heathrow takes some beating - I once few into T3 one evening to find it was physically impossible for me + bike box + luggage on trolley to escape the automatic exit doors as they’re only a person wide and there are no airport or security staff.
Worst - Lisbon. Gave a preview of the results of Stupidity with all traffic mixed up and massive queues for everybody. Only place I have lost luggage. Then there is the long bus ride (feels like all the way t0 Sintra) to get on or off an Azores flight.
Best Santa Cruz, Flores. In town and it is Flores! Fun watching the dairy cows clinging to the roof pitch pastures above. +1 for those wee French provincial ones
Worst: Stanstead - It just sucks, soooooo much. I hate it. I HATE IT.
Best: Arlanda (Terminal5) - so easy to get into and out of when travelling around Europe.
Honorable mentions:
Alderney (Good because they did an excellent bacon butty and because they never minded me rolling up 10 minutes before a flight)
HKIA (Good because queuing was minimal, but bad because luggage collection meant finding _your_ black bag on hard-standing packed with a couple of hundred other, IDENTICAL black bags)
Worst, Marrakesh – absolute cluster trying to leave the country via it, repeatedly checking one’s passport and a terrible lounge. Will never go there again.
Arrivals is just a huge melee, a giant crush of humanity slowly edging towards security to get their passports stamped. It's just awful.
I would love to go back to Marakkech, and even take my wife (who I think would love it) but I just can't put her through that.
Arrivals is just a huge melee, a giant crush of humanity slowly edging towards security to get their passports stamped.
When we were leaving the country last month we had our passports stamped at passport control after nearly an hour of queuing in the fast track lane (and in this queue the passports had already been looked at by three people). Thirty feet later a bloke was checking the passports had been stamped, an absolutely ****in pointless measure- I presume he was the mayor’s brother or some other sinecure.
Humble brag thread contender 😉
Most of my favourites are based around exterior or transport links:
- London City. Reasonably small which obviously helps, but stepping off the DLR to being passed security in 10 minutes is great
- Hong Kong: Great connections to the city, so it's pretty easy to get out even on a relatively short changeover. Extra points for being able to check your bags in at central station and have them transported onto your flight
- Pisa: the only place I've ever walked from the airport to my accommodation
The worst that I have visited was Boston in 1995. Might have had something to do with being absolutely knackered after two internal flights from the west coast ( it was the cheapest way then) and having a ‘discussion’ with a security guard regarding the sign above the scanners saying you could ask for exposed film canisters to be passed round which I asked for him to do. He was really rather rude and perhaps stupidly I argued… I think that may have been the closest that I ever got to being arrested in my round the world trip. It was cramped, dirty and soullless
The best is St. Mary’s on the Isles of Scilly, but that may be because it isn’t actually an international airport so there are no security checks and they are keen that no one stays there for more than about three quarters of an hour before the flight * and the view from the cafe veranda is amazing
* although bit can be a tad crowded if the flights are delayed by bad weather which is not unusual
I quite like CDG.
Worst I've experienced... Terminal 3 at Manchester is a contender with Leeds Bradford a worthy rival. Some airports are awful but have character.
Brize Norton. Rats place. 😂
I used CDG a fair bit a couple of years ago. I got used to it, but my first experiences were painful.
Manchester is the airport I would travel further to avoid.
I was in Stanstead very early morning, connecting for another flight, got to the gate early just to chill out and read, nobody else there, and just after i sat down I saw that someone had done a shit on the carpet. So I vote Stanstead.
Best: Brunei International Airport (before refurbishment) - I am biased because the airport security just let me walked out/in of the airport security zone to eat proper traditional food and had a fag (without security check etc). The airport was like desert with no one around, LOL! They trusted me.
Best: Dubai International Airport - because it is efficient and easy to stock up tobacco.
Moderate: Changi Singapore, Thailand (few of them), Malaysia Subang and the old airport (this one feels like a busy wet market but interesting). Newcastle International Airport (because they are Geordie).
Worst: Heathrow ... the lot and Stanstead. Rude and treat everyone as hijacker.
Of the ones worth mentioning
Moab - tiny and weirdly cool
Zurich - just works
Calgary - been a while but when I went through regularly it seemed like a good place to spend a few hours
Oslo - no where near Oslo
Exeter is best.
Can't believe people dissing Manchester T3. It was always the best terminal for making progress.
It used to be an absolute dream. My record from my front door to departure gate is 12 minutes, including taxi, check in , security and the walk.
Mind you, that was 17 years ago....
It was about 20 years ago but I remember Kos airport being horrific. IIRC the security scanners were at the entrance to the airport so you queued up outside to get your bags scanned before you even got in the building. That was a joy at the height of summer
Reus is my current worst experience. I suspect in summer you get slowly roasted whilst waiting to get through check-in and security.
Best is Graz, quiet the best Strudel for km and the restaurant is an eating destination for the locals!
Worst - Chambery - hundreds of staff running around confused in big white puffy jackets acting genuinely surprised every time a plane lands.
Best - Orkney - some seats, a cafe, a wee shop. Only downside is when the plane is overweight and it's too wet and windy they leave the trolley with the Tunnocks Caramel Wafers behind.
gatwick is becomming quite nice since the monopoly were made to sell it off. Fast queues, lots of space in the lounges, generally easy.
Lyon's easyjet terminal used to be a tent for years, which was a bit of a psss take. We took our kid who couldn't walk properly at the time on a flight from stansted and they didn't have any wheelchairs he could use.
The ones I can remember being notable for good and bad reasons.
Tampa is lovely. Much quieter and less chaotic both for arrivals and departures.
Orlando - over excited and over tired kids and overwrought kids going to Disney, incredibly badly organised.
Budapest - somewhat chaotic pre-security but a sea of relative calm afterwards.
Birmingham - an absolute shitshow when we flew to and from Barca earlier this year.
Singapore - had a very long layover here a long time ago and I recall it was very pleasant.
Oh yeah - Dinard in Normandy, effectively a sportshall with a cafe - very french and very pleasant.
Cancun - crap and everything costs $50.
I've done my best to forget about it, but Port Harcourt, Nigeria deserves a special mention. Arriving after little sleep to be aggressively asked for a bribe by a large man with a gun is never a good way to start a trip. The return was not much better, driving into oncoming traffic on a "motorway" was hair-raising even with a military escort. The "executive lounge" was grimmer than the general waiting area apart from the provision of G&T poured from some dubious-looking bottles. WAWA - West Africa Wins Again.
I was with a rather naive friend in Casablanca airport, transiting from Western Sahara to Heathrow. I thought it was a very good efficient airport. He returned with a couple of coffees saying "it's like bloody Africa!".
Best - Shannon. Worst - Stansted.
reeksyFull Member
I loved Lukla.
The only airport where I’m looking at the pilot muttering ‘you can do it, c’mon, you can do it!’ for take off and landing.
I'm always glad when the bus to the car hire at Bristol eventually turns up, I'm usually on a late flight in and being Greasyjet it's probably delayed. At least you can just walk at Birmingham. Also a complete arse of a place to get to or from, you're 30 minutes from the M5 whichever way you cut it (across the fields to Portishead, round the centre to Avon Dock or through the centre with its insane roundabouts with random traffic islands scattered across them) to the M32 and M4. I'd take a bus or train but I'd never arrive in Gloucester the same day!
Sorry for being so down on Bristol, it's an otherwise nice place but the transport infrastructure is ****ing dire.
Marrakesh sounds hilarious and not much worse than I'd honestly expect. Probably isn't much fun in the heat mind...
Worst. Luton, LaGuardia, Geneva, Brussels. All depressing hovels. Terrible security queues in Geneva and Brussels. Luton and LaGuardia like they didnt finish building them. Dublin is pretty grim too.
Lots of good ones. I’m just 20mins from landing in Doha now, which is pretty nice. Detroit Metro - so well organised for a US airport. Copenhagen - scandi cool. Just simply the coolest one. Palm Springs. Glass walls and no buildings means you can sit in the sunshine waiting for your plane at the gate.
The most impressive worst to best transformation. The terrible old New Orleans terminal to the fab new one
LGA Terminal B is brilliant now. Ataturk Airport has been closed for almost 5 years, its been replaced by a massive new Airport that is fine. (Avoid the extortionate and shitty kebab place, ironicallt).
STN isn't that bad, stop moaning. Neither was DME. LHR is a lot better now.
TLV was bad...especially the cheapo terminal...
Humblebrag?> why yes, yes it is. Kona (KOA): open air huts on the apron with palm trees as shelter. Idyllic </Humblebrag>
My favourite is La Paz in Bolivia because it's sited on the altiplano above the city and there's a huge window giving a panoramic view of the Cordillera Real, which is just spectacular, I mean proper, drop dead astonishing. I don't remember anything else about the airport. I liked Lukla too for the sheer nuttiness of watching planes revving their engines to the max with the brakes applied then releasing them, hurtling up the runway and clearing the fence at the end - above a huge cliff - before banking hard left and flying off up the valley.
Bad? I've had a few, but Bogota felt like stepping into some sort of dystopian hell-scape - I guess it may have changed by now, but I didn't like it.
Pfft, your 'worst' are still good. Worst by far is OAKN, no facilities, hot, full of holes and grumpy ground staff.
30ft high anatomically correct blue stallion with eyes that light up red?
We call it Blucifer. And DIA has been a shit show since they found out the concrete used to build it may not have the correct strength 😮
Mexico City and Dubai are the worst. Mexico City just seemed like they couldn't be bothered, and Dubai had the nastiest, shit-covered toilets. There are few times when I actually look forward to an airplane toilet. Kansas City is an airport that was built just before 9/11 and had to be modified in the most ill-thought-out way. Once you clear security, you can choose 2 tiny restrooms on the concourse. 2 coffee places though, and an 'Irish' bar.
I found Hong Kong to be easy and clean 15 years ago. Things have probably changed since then. Nagoya was fine, from what I remember.
Best - Rarotonga was lovely as was Aitutaki on the way there. And Queenstown is a stunner too. Never flown into there but Courcheval always looks impressive.
Worst - The airport itself isn’t too bad but there’s something deeply bleak about the departure lounge, specifically the Burger King, at Ibiza airport. Chambery is not great, short a small, badly ran airport. Zakynthos is also a dive.
This is such a STW humble-brag thread
Yeah, where's CFH when you need him to remind you how many gold cards he has?
Gold? Pfft. You get them with an Amazon Prime membership these days. It's diamond-studded ebony cards you need now.
there’s something deeply bleak about the departure lounge, specifically the Burger King, at Ibiza airport
It's the spiritual aura of an unbroken stream of ravers over 30 years having the worst 90 minutes of their life as they wonder if a small fries and full fat Coke can stave off the mental cratering that comes with the end of a 10 day binge long enough that they can get on the plane and close their eyes...
I haven't been on a plane for about 14 years but I seem to remember all of the airports I've been to being pretty much the same.
I was in Stanstead very early morning, connecting for another flight, got to the gate early just to chill out and read, nobody else there, and just after i sat down I saw that someone had done a shit on the carpet. So I vote Stanstead.
This is one of the least surprising things I've read on STW.
Anyway, a bit niche but best airport rental car return is Munich. Usually under 2 minutes from stopping the car to being inside the terminal.
Aside from rental car, LHR T5 & T2 are pretty decent especially when you consider that T5 is bigger than all of Stansted. T3 & T4 need to be flattened though. In general, South African airports are of a decent standard. Amsterdam is good for a big airport. Any airport that has a train actually in the terminal is good. Luton really should have tunelled the line below the terminal.
Worst lounge award goes to Shanghai - everything stinks of cigs and the sandwiches look like what a petrol station might be throwing away but got kept for a few days longer before being put out in the lounge.
Worst major city airport for me was Berlin Tegel - a horrible little place that was plain embarrassing in the capital of Europe’s largest country. Luckily it closed in 2020. Another bad one is Chambéry - bad at the best of times it becomes a whole new circle of hell when you are waiting for it to reopen after bad winter weather. It was the only time I was fed by the Red Cross.
As for best, Qatar and Singapore are excellent. In the UK LHR T2 and T5 are very good.
