[Closed] Are you the perfect man?

[i]Are you the prefect man?[/i]

Is gud spilling a prireqiusite?

I was form captain in 5th Form, but never a prefect 🙁

Ha ha maybe, as is being able to enter and format text on a mobile phone. I made a right mess of that didn't I.

I was a prefect. The gown was a real embarrassment, but hey, it went with the territory.

Woohoooooooooooooo!!! I've got 3!!!

A beer / lager drinker

Eats meat

Enjoys watching football

form an orderly queue please ladies 😀

[s]Drives an Audi[/s]

Damn - perfection denied

5'10" in all other areas I'm perfect or better.

I answered yes to twelve of those - Am I as good as perfect?

Perfect for another man perhaps

Smart dress sense

Loves shopping

Wears smart jeans, shirt and a

V-neck jumper

Stylish

Enjoys watching football

Drives an Audi

Watches soaps

Wants a family

is it dark in the closet?

Earns more than you

sounds like a proper knob.

*doesn't understand why "posting on stw" doesn't get a look in*

[i]A beer / lager drinker

Non smoker

Eats meat

Jokes around and has a laugh[/i]

Sorry Binners, trumped by a score of 4.

Oh hang on, I missed these ones at the bottom -

[i]Holds a driving licence

Can swim

Can ride a bike

Can change a tyre[/i]

Wow, that makes me 100% better than I originally thought 😀

My next car will be an Audi, then I'll be perfect! :o)

I'm going to buy an old Audi from a scrappy just to up my score.

[i]Smooth chest

Watches soaps

Enjoys watching football[/i]

What is the opposite of perfect?

Aren't some of those contradictory?

Watches soaps

Enjoys watching football

A beer / lager drinker

Sensitive when you are upset

Drives an Audi

Educated to degree level

Clean shaven
Smooth chest
Enjoys watching football
Educated to degree level- techincally it is beyond a degree but one does not like to brag 😉
Earns more than you- depends I might I guess.
Jokes around and has a laugh- not on STW as this is SERIOUS
Sensitive when you are upset- does buying you wine count?
Tells you he loves you only when he means it
Can swim
Can ride a bike
Can change a tyre
Rings mum regularly - the medium charges a fortune though

So a better catch than Binners and not as good as TSY [ but then again who is]

 

Just answer the questions.
😉

Wine swilling, football hating, shopaphobic, hairy arsed midget here 🙂

Perfect for someone I guess!

Aracer is correct.

I drive an Audi, I do not have a Degree.

12 8)

Six feet tall PASS
Muscly, toned and athletic PASS
Brown eyes FAIL (blue)
Short dark hair PASS
Smart dress sense FAIL
A beer / lager drinker PASS
Non smoker PASS
Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper EPIC FAIL
Gets ready in 17 minutes PASS 5 mins max
Stylish FAIL
Wants a family FAIL already got one
Earns £48,000 a year EPIC FAIL
Loves shopping EPIC FAIL
Eats meat PASS
Clean shaven FAIL
Smooth chest FAIL
Watches soaps EPIC FAIL
Enjoys watching football EPIC FAIL
Drives an Audi EPIC FAIL
Educated to degree level PASS
Earns more than you PASS
Jokes around and has a laugh PASS
Sensitive when you are upset FAIL
Tells you he loves you only when he means it PASS
Admits it when he looks at other women FAIL
Holds a driving licence PASS
Can swim PASS
Can ride a bike obv
Can change a tyre obv
Rings mum regularly PASS

16/30

I'm far from perfect, it's part of my charm.

I once poured white spirit over a load of kindling and newspaper in the hearth and lit the fire from the other side of the room with a flaming arrow.

What could be more perfect?

Oh and brown eyes = mongrel genes 😀

OK, here we go....

Six feet tall - No, just over.
Muscly, toned and athletic - Not sure
Brown eyes - Yes
Short dark hair - Yes
Smart dress sense - Yes
A beer / lager drinker - Yes
Non smoker - Yes
Wears smart jeans, shirt - Yes
V-neck jumper - NO !
Gets ready in 17 minutes - Oh Yeah
Stylish - Eh ?.
Wants a family - Yes
Earns £48,000 a year - No
Loves shopping - Errr, s'OK
Eats meat - Yes
Clean shaven - Yes
Smooth chest - No
Watches soaps - No
Enjoys watching football - No
Drives an Audi - Yes (Spooky)
Educated to degree level - No
Earns more than you - Can't say
Jokes around and has a laugh - Yes
Sensitive when you are upset - Is there a choice ?.
Tells you he loves you only when he means it - 😳
Admits it when he looks at other women - Yes
Holds a driving licence - Yes
Can swim - Yes
Can ride a bike - You kidding ?.
Can change a tyre - Bikes ?, yes.
Rings mum regularly - No.

Pick the bones out of that.
😆

what does the daily mail know about real men?

i for one wont click the link to find out.

Six feet tall - Yep
Muscly, toned and athletic - erm.
Brown eyes - No
Short dark hair- yes
Smart dress sense - Of course

A beer / lager drinker - only good stuff
Non smoker- Do cigars count?
Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper - V neck?
Gets ready in 17 minutes - Under
Stylish- Of course.
Wants a family- Yep
Earns £48,000 a year - Nope. 8)
Loves shopping - Nope
Eats meat - Of course
Clean shaven- Sometimes
Smooth chest - No. I'm a man.
Watches soaps - Listen to the Archers, does that count?
Enjoys watching football - Exactly the opposite!
Drives an Audi- Occasionally
Educated to degree level - Yep
Earns more than you- Who?
Jokes around and has a laugh - Sometimes
Sensitive when you are upset - Yep
Tells you he loves you only when he means it - Yep
Admits it when he looks at other women - Black Iridium FTW!

The survey is clearly flawed. 🙂

Admits it when he looks at other women

Christ, how do you have a conversation if you have to interrupt every ten seconds.

V neck?
Watches soaps?
Smooth Chest?
Stylish?
Loves shopping?

It sounds to me like the perfect man is in fact... a woman.

I once poured white spirit over a load of kindling and newspaper in the hearth and lit the fire from the other side of the room with a flaming arrow.

Class wish I had done that I once used the oxygen from my welder to start a living room heart fire with damp green wood..lets just say it is best avoided on safety grounds.

Torminalis - Member
V neck?
Watches soaps?
Smooth Chest?
Stylish?
Loves shopping?
[b]Ejoys watching football?[/b]

It sounds to me like the perfect man is in fact... a woman

FTFY. 😈

[i]It sounds to me like the perfect man is in fact... a woman.[/i]
😆

I once poured white spirit over a load of kindling and newspaper in the hearth and lit the fire from the other side of the room with a flaming arrow.

I'll never understand women. Why isn't that on the list? How can an Audi be more important than that?!!!!

Yes, I am the perfect man.*

* the list is clearly wrong.

None of those seem massively surprising tbf but the swimming one is a bit strange.

Is that actually in the article? Do they know something we don't?

Loves shopping

Watches soaps

Sounds like a massive tool.

Brown eyes
Short dark hair
Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper
Earns (a bit more than) £48,000 a year
Clean shaven
Smooth chest
Earns more than you
[b]Sensitive when you are upset
[/b]
Tells you he loves you only when he means it

I think I might have found him:

[img] [/img]

[i]Non smoker
Gets ready in 17 minutes
Eats meat
Jokes around and has a laugh
Holds a driving licence
Can swim
Can ride a bike
Can change a tyre
Rings mum regularly[/i]

Is this why I'm still single ...

I fail miserably with that list, but there must be someone on here that ticks all the boxes.

Come on man up, and own up whoever you are 😉

My fiancées brother sent me the original link as a joke, he is only missing the degree of he would be perfect. Going to nick some of your funny responses to send him and palm them off as my own.

As has been pointed out, if someone does tick all those boxes, I doubt there will be much manning up going on. He'll be too busy having his chest waxed, while watching the Hollyoaks omnibus 😉

[i]Is this why I'm still single ... [/i]

Nah.....
😉