@wbo I think you're asking me,
Why should they be any worse than at home.?
I was more referring to the fact that we could be home in the rain, instead of enjoying glorious sunshine here.
In years to come you will look back on your holiday snaps and wish you were back there with your kids... all young, innocent, cheeky and beautiful.
It's really a wonderful time for enjoy them, but not necessarily for relaxing.... which is probably what you might have thought you'd do on hols .... silly boy.
Be cool.
Enjoy.
@kip sounds like me 2yrs ago except with 3 teen princesses expecting the full Instagram experience of Greece.
the answer was to go back in May. Empty blue beaches 5mins walk from villa with pool, out on a boat seeing caves all day without frying. Etc. happy kids, happy M&D
My dad threatened to leave me and my sister in a lay by if we didn’t stop fighting. We didn’t. He pulled in, dumped us and drove…..
I did that to my two when they ignored warnings to stop fighting in the car. It was only a mile or so for them to walk home, less distance than walking to school, but they still remember that incident now they are in their 30s
Currently in Italy with a 15 year old who wants us all to die, a 14 year old who desperately wants to please everyone and a 10 year old who's not sure which camp he wants to be in yet. 2 days in and I'm already looking at flights home.
Kids are knobs, if I could get a refund, I would. If karma is real, I've been an absolute c**t at some point.
I love them dearly of course, but being a parent is exhausting and it never gets easier, just different sh*t at different ages. Enjoy 😉
I love them dearly of course
that wonderful oxytocin again
remind me why I never had kids 🙂
Kids are knobs, if I could get a refund, I would. If karma is real, I’ve been an absolute c**t at some point.
Yep, I've had similar thoughts 🙂 I just think not enough people are honest about the reality, so many parents only ever seem to talk about how wonderful it is and how lucky they are, best thing to ever happen to them etc. Bullshit.
Take them to the local pub. Get yourself a nice steak dinner and a couple of bottles of red and let them run amok amongst the other patrons, ruining their enjoyment, but leaving you and the missus in relative piece and quiet..
Job done..
Enjoy...
Get some anti depressants. I wish I had, I was an uptight prick due to work. Not saying you are.
But... at Christmas you get to all put on matching pyjamas and insta all your followers about how great your life is.
So its not all bad.
Imagine how disappointing a family holiday would be if you were young enough to soak up all the Instagram influencer posts and believe that's what it was really like.
You were expecting sunsets and sundresses and perfect beaches and you got burning your legs on the seatbelt clip in the back of the hire car.
Now everyone will pay!
Bellisima!
I just think not enough people are honest about the reality,
I'm pretty sure that there's evidence that on average parents are slightly less happy than equivalent childless people, however their peaks and troughs are greater and they tend to retrospectively only recall the peaks.
Most confusing thread ever. But I'm very fortunate that my boy is me bestie and my riding/adventure mate.
I reckon you've created your own luck Weeksy .
Well played for investing the effort and time into pretty the most important undertaking anyone could engage in.
Sounds to me like its the adults acting like kids that are the issue.
I’m very fortunate that my boy is me bestie and my riding/adventure mate.
I'm working on that with my son 🙂 he's been loving coming to the bike park with me recently and says it's better than playing Minecraft, which is high praise indeed! Just bought him a new bike as his old one was lethal with the caliper brakes that may as well not be there. Hoping he doesn't get bored of it but he's already been getting a bit of air on the jumps and gets back up for another go if he crashes, so I'm feeling good about it at the minute!
Well, I'm saddened by some of the posts on here.
I’m loving the honesty from people. Family is hard work and anyone that claims different is the sort that also claims you get the same workout on an eBike. They’re just lying to one person, themselves.
Caveat - I have an eBike for commuting so I’m allowed to talk shit truthfully about them.
Family is hard work and anyone that claims different
That's a completely different thing though. My boy is a massive complication in our family, the time, money and effort is immense. However that doesn't.ean he's an arsehole.
Yes it's hard work of course, but in a very very good way.
For all the people who's kids are arseholes, who brought them up and gave them values?
Well, the last 2 days have been better, including seeing bears and wolves at Wildlife Ireland today - highly recommended if in the donegal area.
They are still intermittent aresholes, like me, but offloading here helped, thanks (mostly).
I still think there is a cult of silence about children, trying have kids etc etc. But Venting safely here was good.
All kids are arseholes at times though. Anybody that thinks their own are different are naive at best. Mine are lovely and well mannered but can still be WGBE’s under certain circumstances. They’re people with less control over their emotions than (some) adults, so of course they’ll be arseholes sometimes. If yours aren’t I’ve got some magic beans to sell you!
Ive never seen my kids from a financial or time perspective though. Always found that odd but each to their own.
We only had one kid and I can't think of a single time where I regretted being a parent. Summer holidays where spent exploring round Europe by car with a mix of culture and mountains. Climbing, biking, via ferratas etc. While as an adult he is not really that fussed about the outdoors, he is massively into history so all that trawling through ancient towns, churches and castles has not been a wasted experience. it needs to be said that he was always a very patient and sweet natured child, holidays might otherwise have been a more fractuous experience,
We (G and I) are glad to hear you're in a better place. Im not really qualified to commentas I’ve only got one, but you should imagine my parents with 4 of us!
Cheers @pyranha - I cannot imagine you being anything other than a delight to parent.
Must make that call we discussed previously, once I'm back from trip and the animals are being schooled.
I was, obviously, it was all the others' fault.
The one thing that always gives solace, is that they will always be better behaved when around at the Pattersons. I have never ever regretted being a parent. They seem to have turned out alright and they seem to still like me!
And for my best punishment, Son1 had wound us up all day, so I said on the journey home that if he behaved he would be allowed to attend his friend’s birthday party that evening. And if he did not, well he would not be going. After an hour of generally poor behaviour, we got home collected the gift. I marched him to the door of his friend, who lived on a lovely farm. Son1 gave the gift at the door and then had to explain to his friend’s mother why he could not stay. Let’s just say some of the parents were awestruck.
My mother said you never stop worrying about your children. She was right.
Well today I witnessed a mum having to drag her 8 year old boy screaming from the skate park, swearing at her all the way. He then proceeded to get on top of her car and jump up and down until he eventually got off and she drove off, only to come back 5 minutes later where he then started laughing
im turned to my boys and said if they ever did that they would be getting the hardest clip round the ear of their lives. They agreed it would be well deserved.
that kid was most definitely an arsehole. He’d spat water over my kids earlier so I’d already had a word with him, which to be fair he seemed to actually respond to and not do it again. I felt so sorry for the mum, I very nearly went over to see if I could help, which of course would have been a very stupid thing to have done.
whatever you think about your kids it could be worse,
Going on holiday with small children with organised activities and packing loads into the day generally means hard work and the total opposite of a restful week for the parents who actually need the break.
When my two were wee, the only holiday genuinely enjoyable for everyone was all inclusive somewhere sunny next to a beach. They were generally happy knocking around the pool with other kids, and the evening buffet always has a fine range of beige food for kids, as well as fish/ steak/ salad for adults.
Myself and the wife would generally get in a solo walk or run at some point most days.
Also, watered down booze trickle fed all day is helpful!
This is a very depressing thread. What have you all done to produce such spoilt, demanding princelings? My kids are fine. We have a laugh, argue sometimes, chat nonsense to each other and do what the adults decide with a little negotiation. It’s not a democracy, it’s a benign dictatorship. Some of the behaviour and parental attitudes listed above do not seem normal or healthy to me, for the parent or the child. Maybe it’s because I’m a Gen X parent rather than a Millennial. Raising my kids has been the most rewarding, inspiring, fun thing I’ve ever done. Apart from facilitating the dogs’ every need, obvs. Relax and enjoy it, it’ll be over in a blink of a dirty eye and you’ll spend your remaining years wistfully looking back and reminding them of embarrassing things they did.
Is it me or do most of the problems above seem to be with boys? I wonder if it’s because there’s an unconscious bias to let boys assert themselves more with the boundary problems that come from that. I have girls and don’t recognise some of the issues above, though they come with their own special needs. Mostly stemming from being smarter and quicker than me, despite me being nominally in charge.
To add, I always remember my sister telling me that if she'd just had 2 kids, she'd think that their good behaviour was all down to her excellent parenting skills, but she had a third & learnt that sometimes it's just the luck of the draw.
For all the people who’s kids are arseholes, who brought them up and gave them values?
You might have a darling angel but don't for a minute think you're some kind of superdad and the rest of us are the real arseholes. Did you choose the genetics you or your kids came with? Did you get to choose your own early life experiences and the behaviour of your own parents that you somehow subconsciously absorbed and repeat even though you hate it and yourself because of it? Did you get to choose the life events you had no control over that forced you into making some very difficult decisions that are still impacting your family?
Your life and your kids are great. Awesome. Very happy for you.
This is obviously a place to vent for people who have just been through incredibly stressful experiences and are possibly dealing with larger problems that you can't even comprehend with your perfect little life with your son who seems quite happy to let you live vicariously through him.
So, can I just ask that people who have just had an awesome holiday with their awesome kids and decided to come to this thread to tell us we must be shit parents to kindly **** off.
I already know I'm a shit parent. I'm trying very hard to fix that and, possibly more importantly, stop beating myself up for being a shit parent. It's more difficult when others feel the need to jump in and confirm my own assessment.
Thanks to everyone who is sharing their honest holiday experiences. It helps a lot to know it's not just us. Maybe when I've mentally recovered I can share a bit.
I already know I’m a shit parent. I’m trying very hard to fix that and, possibly more importantly, stop beating myself up for being a shit parent.
I'm really sorry you feel that way. All of us are simply trying to do our best with our kids the best we know how, all of us have ****ed it up royally at some point, even those who think they have super kids. The damn things don't come with instructions and what worked for the first won't work for the second.
There's no such thing as perfect, beating yourself up for past mistakes won't change the past. Focus on fixing the future, which is a slow process. Reach out for support on here and you'll find it among the misplaced humour and general bollocks.
@BruceWee – I mean the clues are all there with this response. It’s no wonder you’re having a tough time with your kids when you can’t even handle a discussion on a forum with getting het up.
Perhaps I should switch things up and try to become more passive-aggressive.
How did that work out with your kids?
Some of our holidays with the boys when they were little were horrendous and we even aborted 2 after a couple of days and came home and then I found the secret..... Leave the wife at home. We have dogs and someone needed to look after them so for about 3 years I took the boys off and she stayed home and it was bliss. I realised it was her who couldn't handle stress and made every situation unbearable. We had 3 really great holidays where I let the boys actually do what they wanted and sacked off the tiresome trips round stately gardens or what ever and it was so much easier. I was also happy to just wing it and go home a bit earlier or in one case later than we had planned dependant on when the boys had had enough.
Sometimes everybody can be an arsehole, doesn't matter what age we are.
The problem with deciding if your own kids are nice people or not is we are all pre-programmed to like and protect our young or the species would die out. Some people I know sing the praises about how wonderful little Jonny is when in reality, everybody else thinks they he is an arsehole. The parents just have a massive blind spot to it.
@brucewee - hank you, you have written what I was struggling to put into words, politely. We have some complex health and developmental factors involved in some of the issues we are experiencing, but I don't owe any random super parent that info.
I, like many, vent on here now and again, as a safe space and try to ignore the sanctimonious few and appreciate the general support here. Though it is sometimes harder than others to ignore the perfect/ feel worse for the input.
Crikey...this thread is getting a little dark..
I don't have kids, but I once was a kid. When I was 5 or so I undoubtedly misbehaved and pissed my parents off constantly. It's what kids do. It has nothing to do with my parents who are brilliant, evidenced by the fact my brother was fine. And I as I got older I grew out of it.
Stop beating yourselves all up about bad parenting. And likewise if your kids never act like dicks, don't feel too smug. It's probably got very little to do with you..
My wife consistently offers to take son+partner and grandchildren (3+5) on holiday but then remembers what hell it is until the next time even though I remind her that last time we needed a holiday on our own to recover. The children can be cute and charming or malevolent trolls but that’s kids. I find their parents more consistently annoying.
Crikey…this thread is getting a little dark..
Yup, read the wrong comment on the wrong morning. Sorry about that.
I think some families need routine (like really need routine) in order to function tolerably well. The problem with summer holidays is that this is always going to disrupt the routine regardless of what you try to do and this is inevitably going to lead to problems. My thinking is, you're going to have problems anyway so you might as well go somewhere with a beach and some sun.
In recent years I've tried to make the focus of the holiday letting the kids spend time as much time as possible with their extended family. We're kind of lucky (but also kind of not) in that they all live so far away that getting together with the cousins is an exiting event. Sure, it just means you're introducing more kids for your kids to fight with but at least it's different kids.
I think my kids are struggling a bit to be accepted where we're living. The thing I like about the extended family is there are people who are forced to accept you whether they like it or not. I think my kids at least find that kind of reassuring.
Overall the holidays are still generally a complete shit show which sees me finding somewhere quiet to drink until I pass out at least twice over the course of the three weeks but I do like the fact it reinforces for my kids there are people who will accept them no matter what.
I guess everyone eventually figures out the least worst option for themselves.
Oh man I wish I was such a perfect parent with such perfect little darlings that are too scared to have and show emotions and feelings of their own for fear of upsetting the perfect parenting.
Our kids are mostly well behaved, kind and considerate. But they can also be complete arseholes who don't like it when the answer is no and seem to know just the right way to wind us up.
The thing with being on holiday is that for most of it you are all stuck together day and night, in a little bubble, in each others pockets, away from routine and home comforts and things that normally might not bother you can all build up. There's noone to vent to because the people you are with are the people you are pissed off by. So you come to your friendly internet forum to seek reassurance that you are not alone, only to be told that you are in fact a shit parent.
Be responsible.
CHOOSE your response.
Both here and far more importantly (as you are more than aware of) on hols with the fam
Have fun
You could also CHOOSE not to share your feelings on a thread where people have had experiences you can't even begin to understand.
Just sayin.
By the way, anyone who thinks their biggest problems with their kids is that they are really expensive and they take up a lot of time is showing that they don't really have any problems with their kids. To the extent that they don't even know what a problem is.
Kids being expensive and time consuming isn't a problem. It's a description of what kids are.
It's like a lottery winner telling all the poor people in the world they really don't understand what they are complaining about.
We have some complex health and developmental factors involved in some of the issues we are experiencing, but I don’t owe any random super parent that info.
But it might have tempered responses if you'd added that detail in your original post. I'm lucky in that I never had to face those problems with my kids to any great degree but I do have a severely autistic nephew so am not blind to the issues that some families can face. Best of wishes to anyone who has to cope with those sorts of difficulties, I really don't think I would be able to cope myself.
