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[Closed] Any reluctants Dads on here? Experiences when you had your first born

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The rules of baby care change as they come along.
Child 1 has all equipment sterilised and cleaned before junior gets it.
Child 2 gets a dropped toy/dummy rinsed and handed back
Child 3 gets it licked clean by a parent and handed back
Child 4 the item gets returned after the dog has licked it.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 2:36 pm
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I can't bloody wait to see you after a few weeks of zero sleep. You make little enough sense at the best of times 🙂


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 2:38 pm
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I know a malaysian/white couple who's kids are really cute. They are both moderately good looking though........:-)


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 2:41 pm
 wors
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[url= http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8162216.stm ]half chinese you say?[/url]

😯


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 2:45 pm
 ton
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hora, do you a deal....................
your orange, for my pram, cradle, bouncing chair and milton cleaning set........... 😉


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 2:45 pm
 hora
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ton. That was my last extravagance.

I'm going to be selling as much stuff as possible now- no more Chameleon/stuff etc etc etc 🙁


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 2:50 pm
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Don't forget your first port of call when flogging stuff Hora. I'll do you a deal on lending you my kids, so you get used to things 🙂


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 2:56 pm
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Is this a Gruffalo...

[IMG] [/IMG]

or just a troll?


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 2:58 pm
 hora
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HTS. I BLOODY wish. Too late to turn back the time. No chance of a refund/return. No way back. Feels vaguely like the roller coaster is waiting for the last people to get on before the off

binners- no. You can have my dog instead. Your youngest likes bingo!


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:07 pm
 wors
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Hora enjoy it, it's bloody hard work, but very rewarding!


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:09 pm
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HORA – they are humouring you

THE TRUTH
They deprive you of everything you hold dear like freedom ,time, hobbies, a [sex]life and money.
They constantly demand your time and affection and reward you with strops mood swings and urine soaked furniture.
They are a barrier to any kind of relationship with your partner or indeed friends as apparently iirc you can’t leave them unattended ever an as you do nothing else but spend time with them you have no other conversation topics.
If you try to support the mother with the task of looking after the baby she will hear the words “ are you saying I can’t cope ?” an argument will ensue in the morning you will both be so tired you knew you argued but not what about. Despite this it will still be your fault.
The children will initially hang on your every word as youngsters and then slowly bleed you dry of all your self respect and every penny you have (whilst belittling you for being old/out of touch/stupid)before disappearing at 18 into some sort of drug /drink fuelled oblivion that does not involve you till they require bail from prison, protection from their pimp or a character reference in court

Enjoy.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:14 pm
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Not a troll?

In that case.

[IMG] [/IMG]


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:18 pm
 nuke
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Silly old Harry! Doesn't he know, there's no such thing as a Gruffalo? 😉


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:18 pm
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Money won't be such an issue - what you're spending on nappies, prams, clothes etc - you won't be spending on pints, films and eating out.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:23 pm
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"A Gruffalo, what's a Gruffalo? "

"A Gruffalo, why didn't you know? He has terrible tusks and terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws."

The BBC are doing an animated verion for Christmas. It'll be great, the Gruffalo rocks. The mouse is a bit of a cocky #### though.

Hora can record it and watch it when he has a spare half hour... in 2012.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:24 pm
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what you're spending on nappies, prams, clothes etc - you won't be spending on pints, films and eating out.

I agree - I have hardly touched my bank account in 6 weeks as I haven't been out since. Just spent a little on sweets (for the much-needed sugar-rush).


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:29 pm
 hora
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[i]Money won't be such an issue - what you're spending on nappies, prams, clothes etc[/i]

No I am going to be [s]green[/s] ****in tight. I know things like buggies can be soiled/unhygenic but other items can be reused/shared between friends. After all, a kid might only wear a certain top for <6months so there is plenty of use left in them arent they? Its only 'icky' if its from an unknown source IMO.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:30 pm
 Drac
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Congratulations, perfectly natural to be shocked and don't worry about the money you do get some help, although doesn't take a huge wage to knock it down. Also on your first you will find family buying you loads of stuff.

To think the times you posted you never going to have children, so unlike you to change your mind. Just remember you can't change your kids every few weeks.

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:32 pm
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[i]don't worry about the money you do get some help[/i]

Ha! Given the amount Hora spent on bikes I seriously doubt that he qualifies for financial aid of any kind from the government. In fact, I'm surprised anyone on more than minimum wage does.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:35 pm
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Yeah - we haven't spent much on stuff yet - I reckon £1.2k tops (on two)

Pushchair system from mother/father in law

Cots from my mum

Loads of clothes from all over.

We had just the car seats as a major purchase, then bedding, boring everyday clothes etc.

We also were given lots and lots of s/h clothes from friends and borrowed things like Moses baskets.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:35 pm
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oh, and if you have a boy he will piss in your face at some point during a nappy change.

Enjoy.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:36 pm
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Get a Phil & Ted now to save money when the second comes along.
Dont get suckered into buying anything from Bugaboo, overpriced WAG baby gear.
Can recomend an AngelCare Monitor for peace of mind.
Oh, & if the mum is a bit older a Nuchal Fold Scan is a good move, especially if they show you in 4D. Amazing.

And a new car with Isofix mounts.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:36 pm
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Get a Phil & Ted now to save money when the second comes along.

So the one underneath can stare at nothing but the back of another chair all day 😉

I really don't like the P&T as a double.

We got one of these...
[img] [/img]
Which is, of course, useless as a single though...


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:38 pm
 hora
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Drac after almost 18yrs of alcohol-fueled life, overweight and bike saddles I didnt think it'd take two weeks. By agreeing I thought I'd bought upto 2yrs+ of breathing space. Not preggers within two weeks FFS.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:45 pm
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mastiles_fanylion...ours are 18 months apart so wasn't as much of an issue as the younger one was too young to be that bothered. Also, having the younger one lying flat is a bonus as its genuinely usable from birth. The cocoon thing that the younger one goes in is pretty good also.

Can see your dilemma with twins...buggy above looks good.
Have you got a trailer for them yet ? 🙂


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:46 pm
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When I found out the missus was pregnant, I was all of those things; shocked worried, pissed off, we were both in good jobs, life was on the up. And you know what? It's a cliché but he made our lives complete, and really rather f&*king wonderful, as does his sister.

Taking him to his first gig soon. 😀


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:50 pm
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With regard to takisawa's post above - before you embark on any diagnostic tests (of which there are plenty!), ask yourselves if you would terminate the pregnancy in the event of a possible problem. If you wouldn't, then don't bother with them. The nuchal scan is only an indicator, and can only be confirmed by amniocentesis (sp?) which carries a risk of miscarriage.

Good luck! 🙂


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:51 pm
 Drac
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[i]. By agreeing I thought I'd bought upto 2yrs+ of breathing space. Not preggers within two weeks FFS. [/i]

Hahaha! Yeah I calculated the same and it was about 6 weeks of trying properly, same with the second one.

I wouldn't go back, although I had ride my bike now, not been to the Alps for about 4 years and see less of my friends. It's brilliant though and soon gets better as they get older.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:53 pm
 hora
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When I found out the missus was pregnant, I was all of those things; shocked worried, pissed off, we were both in good jobs, life was on the up. And you know what? It's a cliché but he made our lives complete, and really rather f&*king wonderful, as does his sister.

Im taking as much solace in that as I can!

Taking him to his first gig soon.

A few weeks ago I took our friend 3month old son on a trip to the local Co-op (in one of those chest carrying things). Didn't have what I wanted so I ended up taking him for his first ever visit into the local Bargain Booze. 8)


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:54 pm
 Drac
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[i]And a new car with Isofix mounts. [/i]

Last few cars had them and the many car sears we've been through, awful things so never used them.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:56 pm
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LOL,

I USED to race triathlons, now a simple visit to the pool or a snatched turbo session is a luxury! Yes, they will set you back an absolute fortune that only becomes more expensive as they grow up... unless you want to live in a cave.

You either have massive income to pay for child care every day, or belong to a massive family network (who love your child)? If not, then it's a bloomin hard slog.

So, as an honest person I urge you to HTFU

Chin up 🙂


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 3:58 pm
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see less of my friends

This is the bit that's worrying me. Got a 2 week old, just back at work, and I can already see that the chances of me seeing my mates has gone to slim to **** all while the likelihood of me riding a bike for anything other than commuting at any point in the next three years is even less. Mostly I'm worried that I'll have zero time to exercise and will turn into a fat middle aged man and when I finally do have any time to ride a bike I'll be physically incapable of doing it.

Not (yet) seeing any upsides of having a kid, but expecting that to change with time as he starts to meaningfully respond to the outside world.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:02 pm
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having the younger one lying flat is a bonus as its genuinely usable from birth

Yeah - it is pretty much required - that buggy we have takes car seats and totally flat cribs too. 🙂

We hunted high and low and finally got what we wanted.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:09 pm
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I had to sell my Lotus, but it was worth it.

Welcome to Club Dad, usually to be found Overdoing it A Bit on some singletrack very close to home.

Pack as much into the next 5 months as you can, then brace yourself - no one can adequately describe the change it brings.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:09 pm
 hora
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If its a girl ----------------------------------------------------->


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:12 pm
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[i]while the likelihood of me riding a bike for anything other than commuting at any point in the next three years is even less[/i]

Why? my bike time didn't change at all, you HAVE to give each other space, my missus realised that cycling was an important part of my life, and so we made space for it. I made space for her need for space as well, it's all give and take innit?


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:12 pm
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You'll still get out and ride, but at different times. Tonight it's a road ride in the hills... in the dark.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:12 pm
 Drac
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[i]This is the bit that's worrying me.[/i]

Wasn't too bad with one the second stumped thing a bit, I also refer to friends who don't live near by as I can't just jump in the car and come back a few days later any more, takes months of planning.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:15 pm
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Go to anti natal classes. We got to meet some great people (and Terrahawk). These are the people that will be in the same boat as you at the same time. Mrs Spider has a whole new circle of friends now.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:15 pm
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I hope the great people you met made up for meeting Terra 😉


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:21 pm
 Drac
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[i]Go to anti natal classes. [/i]

The look was enough for my wife not to ask me to go twice.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:23 pm
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my missus realised that cycling was an important part of my life,

For me it isn't my wife dictating what I can and cannot do, it has become what I want to do. I don't WANT to spend my time away from my children. I want to get home as soon as I can after work, I want to feed and bathe them and watch them fall asleep in my arms. I can't do that when out riding my bike.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:26 pm
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Why? my bike time didn't change at all, you HAVE to give each other space, my missus realised that cycling was an important part of my life, and so we made space for it. I made space for her need for space as well, it's all give and take innit?

Nice theory...

To top it all off, we're moving to Australia in September so we have some family support nearby (her parents, my Dad's in NZ) so I lose access to all of my friends and the people we met through antenatal classes while my commute is likely to increase to >1 hour in a train each way too. Really rather worried that life is going to be work and baby with little time left for anything else. 😕


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:27 pm
 Drac
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[i]Why? my bike time didn't change at all, you HAVE to give each other space, my missus realised that cycling was an important part of my life, and so we made space for it. I made space for her need for space as well, it's all give and take innit?[/i]

My Mrs does too but time constraints work against that theory as it's me who looks after most of the time because I work shifts. If I have the kids during the week I'm working weekends and vice versa, then if I'm off at the weekend it's some times nice to see the wife rather then passing in the passage on my way to work.


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:30 pm
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congratulations to you and mrshora.
Does she know you've 'sort of' announced this to a bunch of strangers?


 
Posted : 22/07/2009 4:31 pm
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