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[Closed] Adoption

 LeeW
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[#11049181]

Started the process for adoption around 18m ago, had a few delays due to the initial course being delayed and having a part time social worker appointed to work with us.(She was wonderful, if a little dizzy!)

Went to panel two weeks ago, verbally approved the same day, written conformation a week after, then twenty minutes after that email landed we get a call. We'd been matched straight away.

Had the child social worker and family placement bod round today, plus our own social worker and her student observing (and eating all the nice biscuits).

Three hours of questions about us and from us to them the child. They leave saying they'll let our SW know next week as pretty much everyone at the meeting doesn't work Fridays.

Hour later I get a call, I'm going to be a dad, I can't beleive it. We've got everything we could have hoped for and more (the child loves the outdoors!)

I'm buzzing, my partner is buzzing and my 8yo step daughter is even more excited!

Just needed to get that off my chest 😀😀😀😀


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:30 pm
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That’s awesome 😆


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:32 pm
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Nice, that's rad. I don't much fancy breeding myself but like the idea of adoption a bit later down the line 😀 Happy for you


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:33 pm
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The internet needs more news like this. Congratulations!


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:39 pm
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😁😁👍👍👍👍👍


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:40 pm
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We’re five years in adopting two boys. It’s been very, very hard. I would suggest looking into therapeutic parenting, it has helped us a lot. Make sure you get to know other adopters if you already don’t as it helps to talk to others that are experiencing the same things.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:40 pm
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smashes like button

Not every hero wears a cape, excellent work.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:40 pm
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Amazing news. You’re going to be a great family. All the best.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:41 pm
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Fantastic.
The world needs more people like you.

Modern life is complicated, but love conquers all.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:43 pm
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Such a good post, thank you


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:51 pm
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Lee, and all the other adopters and foster carers...thank you.

I work in children's social care...you lot are the best thing in a child's life.

You are amazing.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:52 pm
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I know we've all but stopped asking, but this post is CRYING OUT FOR A LIKE BUTTON!. It got ever so slightly dusty in here, just a coincidence that it was the same time as I was reading your post, I'm sure...

You'll be awesome (and it's probably worth listening to those who've gone/are going through it, as above). We have friends who are both social workers and do the placing, so it's lovely to hear from the other side.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:52 pm
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MrsSteve is a social worker - 25 years in child protection but about to move across to adoption.

People like you are amazing, giving kids the chance to have a fresh start. So many kids don't get that chance when they most need it.

It won't be easy, but neither is raising your own sometimes. Use all the support you are offered when you feel you need it, and I wish your new enlarged family all the best


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 8:54 pm
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Congratulations.

We were unsuccessful, but I am very happy for you.

As said above take all the help that's offered and keep us updated.

I feel a new bike will be a first purchase!


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:00 pm
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I feel a new bike will be a first purchase!

Better get one for the kid as well while you're at it!


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:04 pm
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My Father & his Brother (not actual brother) were both adopted from, as we found out later, pretty unhappy circumstances.
It's people like you & your wife that enable the children, like my Father & my Uncle, to lead happy, fulfilling lives, around people who love them & care for them.
The world is a much better place for people like you & Mrs LeeW, so a simple but heartfelt Thank You from me & my family.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:04 pm
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Nothing to add other than I wish you and your family all the best. A truly great thing that you are doing.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:07 pm
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Congratulations! There's too many children living in care whose life chances would be enhanced by being adopted by a loving and supportive family.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:09 pm
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You're amazing!

Our friends have adopted. Like others have said, it can be tough but you've given some one a chance for an amazing life, full of love, opportunity and security. Cherish it.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:16 pm
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Congratulations Lee... I'm about 3 1/2 years into it here with my boy. It's amazing but such very hard work!

I'd echo what orangewinger said above, start reading up now on PACE and therapeutic parenting. Also, make sure you keep in contact with your post-adoption support people, and make use of any courses available to you. The more help you can get the better.

I still remember how it felt to be on your position... it was amazing... looking back on it now though makes us feel a little nieve as really, as hard as it had been getting to that point it really was only the start of the hard work!

Oh, and I know some of that might sound a little negative, but it's not meant to be, just realistic as to what it was like. Would I do it again? Hell yes as my son is bonkers and brilliant and I love him to bits...

Anyway, congratulations again, and if you ever need any help, advice or even just a shoulder who understands to cry on then am always more than happy to help.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:17 pm
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Brilliant news, well done. I suspect the hard bit starts soon, parenting is tough even when the kids have smooth starts to life. I have no idea how this chat bored could help but if it can let us know!


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:21 pm
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Post of 2020. 🙏🏻


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:25 pm
 kevs
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Congratulations, we’re two years in after adopting our twin boys. Hard work but worth it.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:27 pm
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Congratulations Lee, what an awesome post to read.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:44 pm
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Congratulations, it's our 4 year anniversary for us and our adopted daughters tomorrow. Simultaneously the most terrifying, awesome, difficult, happiest thing that's happened to us.

It can be tough, so having some people who understand it is good - other adopters really as your mates/family probably won't understand what you're going through.

TBH I feel a bit embarrassed when people say "it's amazing what you're doing" because we're just a normal couple that couldn't have kids, so got some second hand. But you know what, we are - big high five to the adoptive dads!


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:53 pm
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CONGRATULATIONS! I third what Orangewringer and funkynick said re therapeutic parenting and attachment disorder. Our two turned up eight years ago and we wouldn’t change a thing, well, maybe one or two things.
Feel free to PM if you need anything and definitely spend time with other adopters.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:57 pm
 Kuco
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Congratulations 🙂


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 9:59 pm
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Yeah, the single best post I've ever read on STW, brilliant. Turning another human's life from bad to good. I'm in awe of you.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 10:06 pm
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Fantastic news.

It’s a great thing to do.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 10:16 pm
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Congrats. We got told to go away and do a lot more reading & voluntary work before they'd even put us in the pipeline.

I read the posts on the NATP facebook and the whole thing scares the crap out of me now.  What you are doing is a brave and special thing.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 10:18 pm
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Congratulations!! What a great thing to do 🙂


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 10:44 pm
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Brilliant! Lots of respect to you both and wishing you all the best for the times ahead 👏😊


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 10:59 pm
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Well done you and your oh. An incredible thing to do. Best wishes for the future for your growing family.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 11:01 pm
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Well done!


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 11:02 pm
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Fantastic!  Many congratulations!


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 11:03 pm
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Nice.


 
Posted : 13/02/2020 11:04 pm
 ybot
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Great news and well done. We adopted our little girl when she was four and half months old, she turns five at the end of this month. She has been amazing since the day she arrived, looked up from her car seat and smiled at us. We did fostering to adopt so for the 1st year or so weren't sure if she would stay with us or not which was hard to deal with. I'll echo some of the points above, its the single most amazing thing we have done. She is so loving and can be very challenging, its certainly hard work but also very rewarding and of course wouldn't change it for anything.
The 1st day on the adoption course we met another couple who we got on really well with, they now have 2 kids and we see them a few times a year, it certainly helps to have friends who have gone through the whole process too. Also, I don't see it as us being special, its more the other way around that this little girl has given us the family we wanted with all the highs and lows that entails.


 
Posted : 14/02/2020 10:44 am
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Year 7 for us. It's been tough as heck at times but we carry on regardless.

Good luck.


 
Posted : 14/02/2020 11:10 am
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Conratulations!
I always love reading posts like this to remind you how much love and good people are out there.


 
Posted : 14/02/2020 12:04 pm
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OP, that is totally awesome. Im adopted and i really cant think of how it would have worked out for me and my sister if we hadnt been.
The showering of unconditional love from Mum and Dad is a corner stone of my life and a role model for my current family unit.
Im 54 very soon and Id really really like to thank everyone who does this amazing thing and gives kids love and hope.
Ian


 
Posted : 14/02/2020 12:58 pm
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Contratulations! we have our 4th anniversary this coming Sunday for our 2 daughters. As others have said, take advantage of any post placement support - you will need it. Also, make sure the school is on board early. Get them to develop a plan and ensure the additional funding they receive is put to good use for your child


 
Posted : 14/02/2020 2:18 pm
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Congratulations chap.


 
Posted : 14/02/2020 2:22 pm
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Im adopted and i really cant think of how it would have worked out for me and my sister if we hadnt been.
The showering of unconditional love from Mum and Dad is a corner stone of my life and a role model for my current family unit.

There are no words, amazing post.


 
Posted : 14/02/2020 2:25 pm
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Nice one. Gone a flipping dusty reading that.
What age is your new un Op? Just out of curiosity.


 
Posted : 14/02/2020 5:12 pm
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Amazing news. We've done it took about two years in total from the initial sw coming to see us. Worth every moment of the roller coaster. Like you the first panel agreed and about a week later the matching panel. We were very lucky with our SW who always had our two children (brother and sister) in mind for us. The first time they give you a pen profile and then the pictures. Quite a bit of dust in my eyes that day. Before we started the timetable introductions me and the wife and SW were on a park bench and saw the children playing, that memory of a two wild haired children singing frozen and playing on the swing is permanently etched in my brain. Cue two little children few weeks later beaming smiles dragging along little suitcases. You'll have regular LAC reviews and then the official adoption ceremony with the Judge, our judge gave ours toys and got them to wear wigs to make it a fun day. I'll never get fed up of being called Dad. 6years on and everyday is amazing. Sad that they grow up so fast


 
Posted : 14/02/2020 6:14 pm
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