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yes, I was reading a bit about the taarof thing mentioned. hugely confusing for someone like me with Aspergers. I can deal with the direct problem-solution approach but when it comes to reading between the lines i'm practically useless.
odd thing is, there are 4 of us in our row of 6 cottages with Aspergers, one relative of a well known glasgow security firm and two recovering depressives. Makes for an interesting mix.
Pook - Member
You need to suck it up, go round cap in hand and smooth the waters that you have made choppy. Offer some taarof* - maybe suggest as recompense you clear up that bit of the garden you left in a state** + a bit more besides*Persian form of civility
**in his eyes
Pook - Member
As long as you make that clear to him I'd think it'll all be ok. Be humble.Don't be a doormat though!
Very good that ^^^ ...
lovewookie - Member
yes, I was reading a bit about the taarof thing mentioned. hugely confusing for someone like me with Aspergers.
The simple meaning is cultural mannerism and etiquette. For example, in Japan you bow to each and when talking to the elders you speak indirectly rather than expressing your feeling directly. i.e. You don't go around saying "please sod off..." but instead you say "I am busy now so could you come back some other days please ..." something like that.
Try your best to apologise by trying to "give face" rather than trying to argue for fairness or your rights etc ... coz he will not back down. Whatever you do you need to let him win in front of his family members or women or friends. His family members/friends etc will then calm him down to tell him to compromise whatever that is.
😛
p/s: Do Not gawk at their women no matter how tempting you are at their beauty ... ya, they are good looking but high maintenance as I was warned by Iranian friends.
....and if you do the BBQ find out first if he's halal and drinks beer, being from Iran he very may well not !