[Closed] Trackstanding...

I'm so much better than you I can't count how long I can do it on any bike regardless of wheel or tyre size. I'd starve to death before I discovered the limits of my track standing ability. Even if someone hooked up an intravenous drip to sustain me during my track stand the tyres would probably degrade and the wheels would get eaten away by atmospheric contamination to the point where I was just being slowly lowered to the ground.

Ultimately I'd just end up standing on two pedals, my hands clenched onto the bars, which by that stage will have been formed into diamond. My beard would grow down beyond my crotch, shielding my privates from view and sparing other the sensation of instant emasculation that would strike them should they catch a glance of the testicles of a man who could do such a track stand.

Trackstanding is trying too hard. Tracksitting is where it's at. 😉

what onzadog said,

I can't tracksit for toffee

thread closed

In fact my track stands are so long that I don't go for bike rides, I go for track stands, which I occasionally intersperse with a bit of cycling.

So long are they, that the only way to determine their length will be do dig me up several million years from now and use highly super highly advanced future carbon dating techniques to carbon date my fossilized bones. And of course, my bones will be fossilized into a track standing position because I will certainly just wear a hole into the ground wherever I decide to stop and future generations will just build over the top of me.

I'm so much better than you I can't count how long I can do it on any bike regardless of wheel or tyre size. I'd starve to death before I discovered the limits of my track standing ability. Even if someone hooked up an intravenous drip to sustain me during my track stand the tyres would probably degrade and the wheels would get eaten away by atmospheric contamination to the point where I was just being slowly lowered to the ground.

Ultimately I'd just end up standing on two pedals, my hands clenched onto the bars, which by that stage will have been formed into diamond. My beard would grow down beyond my crotch, shielding my privates from view and sparing other the sensation of instant emasculation that would strike them should they catch a glance of my testicles.

[img] ?3fcaf5[/img]
😆 😉

You need to take it to the next level jimjam and skip the cycling bit altogether. I'm actually at work trackstanding as i type this.

standing no handed trackstands are way harder than sitting ones

[img] [/img]

😯

Wow, I wish I could do that, jimjam.

The best I can ever manage is a vaguely humorous one-liner which I tend to have to point out to people (DYSWIDT?)

DYSWIDT

No, sorry, what? did you do there? 🙂

bugger

I seem to remember they changed the rules about track standing in track racing after the commentators went away for lunch and came back without the competitors having moved... 90 minute sprint race anyone?

I'm so much better than you I can't count how long I can do it on any bike regardless of wheel or tyre size. I'd starve to death before I discovered the limits of my track standing ability. Even if someone hooked up an intravenous drip to sustain me during my track stand the tyres would probably degrade and the wheels would get eaten away by atmospheric contamination to the point where I was just being slowly lowered to the ground.

Ultimately I'd just end up standing on two pedals, my hands clenched onto the bars, which by that stage will have been formed into diamond. My beard would grow down beyond my crotch, shielding my privates from view and sparing other the sensation of instant emasculation that would strike them should they catch a glance of the testicles of a man who could do such a track stand.

This ^ for me too.

Unless of course someone's watching, in which case I can manage about 8 seconds before failing to unclip and falling over. Less than that if the people watching are even vaguely attractive.

I seem to remember they changed the rules about track standing in track racing after the commentators went away for lunch and came back without the competitors having moved... 90 minute sprint race anyone?

I did read about a variation on the sprint race theme, where it was a mass start race over something like 1.5 laps of the track, with the rules being that you couldn't cross the line and start the last lap until a whistle was blown (if you did you were disqualified) and you couldn't put a foot down / touch a barrier / touch another competitor until you were on the last lap. And the time from start of race to whistle was up to the commissaire and a 'random' time from say 30s to 90s.

So you had to track stand slowly towards the s/f line, so you could be near the front when the race started properly, but not too near to risk putting a foot down or being boxed in by others, etc.

Would like to see one of them.

My bestest ever was approx 71/2 mins....got to the point that the ledd leg was shaking uncontrollably.... 😉

Here you go theotherjonv:

[url= http://www.cyclingweekly.co.uk/news/latest-news/adam-blythe-wins-revolutions-longest-lap-race-video-141324 ]Longest Lap Race[/url]

This was from the last Revolution. What surprised me was how a lot of them aren't very good at track stands! (but no doubt better than me)

We used to have the occasional trackstand battle. The rules were pretty simple, you could trackstand, sidehop and backpedal but no forward pedaling. Pivoting on the rear wheel was also allowed. The aim of the game was to be the last man standing. Tactics ranged from frantic sidehopping into a semi-controlled shoulder barge, pulling a stationery 180 and slamming your front wheel into an opponents rear (usually ended in tears for both parties) or my favourite - a swift but deadly ninja kick to the headtube.

😆

JimJam, I'm so much better than you.....

Rubbish, my mate manages to trackstand without actually being on his bike. I just stands up all on its own. Not even fat tyres, just regular ones.

Genuine lol. Well done mate!

I state the truth and people mock me with derisive laughter. 🙂

Since using SPDs I've lost my bottle when it comes to trackstands, the thought of toppling over in traffic scares the beejesus out of me.

Trackstanding on a Brompton is tricky.

bloody show off jedi 😯 😉

He [i]has [/i]got his front wheel nicely caught in a low spot. 😉

And I'm sure there are hidden cables, too. 😆

Trackstands are a piece of piss on my fixie, I merely pop the plums out of my shorts and drape them over the handlebars and they help counterbalance any motion due to their massive gravitational pull……

I used to practise trackstands whilst watching TV. The joys of student houses where you can ride a bike in your front room without getting a bollocking from your wife. Never did manage a whole episode of the Simpsons though - even when they were on BBC2 and only lasted 22 minutes.

Once you can manage a minute of trackstanding it just comes down to a battle of fitness/willpower. I think my record was about 12 minutes because of crippling leg ache/cramp. Suspect if I could rotate feet I'd be much more successful, but my left-foot-forward attempts are very short-lived.

Apparently the 'Official' world record for trackstanding is 21.34 seconds.
Skip to 5'03 for other easily-beatable bike-related records. More than 3 front hops, anyone?

non-handed sat down trackstands clipped into a road bike at traffic lights no bother. on the MTB i'm working on stood-up hands-free trackstands. getting there, not died yet.

i can't pull a wheelie for shit.

Student house taught me to track stand too. Used to ride into the kitchen, put tea on and then track stand until the pasta was cooked! Could do 30 seconds no handed, sitting after a year in that house!

Is it cheating to sit down and put your feet on the front wheel to balance it?

No. Also not cheating: using a blindfold, having an amputation, using a bicycle with knives for pedals.

I tend to do it at every set of lights I encounter on the commute to & from work, standing up, sitting down, one handed scratching my barse - then I tried doing it with the "other" foot leading out of curiosity & had to dismount rather sharpish... i was so upset I haven't attempted it again since.

I can *almost* track stand the motorbike now. Can do about 7 or 8 seconds without the panniers attached. I know it's a bit of a pointless skill on the motorbike but...

Edit - and yes, it's bound to go terribly wrong eventually.

Rachel

Can you do it in heels though 😉

I think that's the pout it would go terribly wrong, Junkyard! 🙂

Jedi's live webcam up there ^^ beats Jimjam. He's been at it for 24 hours now! Must be some kinda record 😀