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The more humourous the better.
I'll start with
'she's got a face like Ronsealed spaniel'
"sweating like Vegas Elvis in a squash court" (robbed from The Thick Of It)
"fatter than a tub of lard"
"dancing like a spastic bambi on an ice rink"
'She has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp'
or
'She has a face like a bulldog licking P1$$ of a nettle'
These are similes mate.
face like a melted wellie
looks like their face was on fire and someone tried to put it out with a spade
(i should point out we aimed these at blokes, well one bloke really. poor bastard. anyway the point is im nasty but not sexist)
similies or not
tighter than a camels arse in a sandstorm
These are similes mate
thats a rubbish one
😉
Last time I saw an arse like that it had a tranqiliser dart stuck in it.
"As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit"
4 posts before we have an English teacher pointing out the errors of our ways.
The usual STW then 🙄
Like he said there are similes and metaphors. An example of an analogy would be the topic posted below entitled 'how to steal bikes'
It was like a tin of vim with a sheeps heart on top.
Its like a Hippos Yawn... 😐
LOL very good.
...battered old thing hanging there like a turkeys neck
tits like 2 naan breads
on the sweating front-sweating like a nun in a cucumber shop
Sweating like a glass blowers arse.
Sweating like a dyslexic on Countdown.
"It's like a button mushroom in a clown wig" God bless Joy from My name is earl 😀