only once in many years of riding, wasn't fun, damp weather, bib tights dodgy tummy and a complete lack of anything dry, absorbant broad leafed plants. Made do with wet moss and cut the ride short.
I do enjoy an outdoor pee with glorious views but nah wild pooping I'll be quite happy never to have to do it again.
i did one in the heavy snow we had a couple of winters back. I was wearing all my waterproof gear with bib shorts underneath so I had to get almost starkers to do it adding an an element of danger which i enjoyed.
It looked wondrous sat atop the pristine snow, although the lack of vegetation made wiping rather problematic. All in all, 8/10, would poo again.
Stashed in my Camelbak is a small dealer bag with a few baby wipes, never had to use them but it's a nice piece of mind.
Poo with a view, in some scenic corner of Scotland is an experience to be savoured.
Had a marvellous dump in the river at CYB once. Caught short mid ride in the summer. Seemed a nice way to flush and cleanse all in one.
🙂
The poo prowess is alive and well on STW 😆
matt_outandabout - MemberPoo with a view, in some scenic corner of Scotland is an experience to be savoured.
So true, see my earlier post for view point 😉
Ooh, loads.
The most memorable one was probably just off the back of [url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burrow_Mump ]Barrow Mump[/url], one early autumn evening as the mist was just starting to rise on the fields of the mere. I'd found a lovely bit of shelter in the bushes, and could have sat there for hours watching the night settle in softly all around me.
*sigh*
Winter pooing on Burgh Island is an eye opener tho'. 😯
A couple of times whilst surfing. Not a getting a clean break isn't ideal, leaves a bit of mess in the wetsuit. Plus got to be vigilant when paddling about.
Off the front of snowdon, with this view:
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Best damn sh1t I ever had. Until an aged walker came into sight, then I had to finish double quick.
A few wet wipes are a key feature of my saddle pack.
Can we get into the 'rules' before too many go crapping all over the place?
1. Go equipped - with a poo plan and ideal.
2. Hide it/bury it/not too deep (under turf layer=perfect)
3.Hide yerself - nothing worse than walking round a corner and finding someone midway through laying a line.
4. Not near water courses, not near the bothy, not near the summit, not too near paths, not near the car park. The more obscure the place, the better.
My favorite was while me my mate gav an my dog were out running we'd just got back into town an the call came 'GAV HOLD THE BLOODY DOG i need to go NOW!! i was lucky enough to be up one of the poshest lanes in my town one with them big driveways where you carnt see the houses from the road loads of trees an bushes so i snuck into someones garden i let loose missing my ankles/back of shoes by a matter of cms i then needed a wee so had to dance around wipping my shorts an kegs off avoiding my Poo before i had another bout of the squits at which time i could see some walkers thru the trees near my mate gav they didn't say ote to him but they must of seen me in a bright white top, cleaned myself up with one of my best pair of boxers, as i had my dog with me id tucked a load of Poo bags into my shorts picked my boxers up with one bag my turd with another put it in the nearest wheelie bin an finished my run home i found the whole experiance liberating
Too many to list some in truely spectacular locations. Best/worst I have had misfortune witnessing in progress was some unfortunate having a wild halfway down the 2010 megavalanche qualifying race on an open section. Had the headcam running so his indignity is forever recorded for posterity.
Can't remember a time when I have been climbing and not had to shuffle off behind a boulder or amongst some ferns to do a nature poo.
Trust me, trying to find somewhere quiet and out of sight at Stanage edge on a hot busy Saturday is quite a challenge.
Robin hoods cave any one.........
jono84 - MemberMy favorite was while me my mate gav an my dog were out running we'd just got back into town an the call came 'GAV HOLD THE BLOODY DOG i need to go NOW!! i was lucky enough to be up one of the poshest lanes in my town one with them big driveways where you carnt see the houses from the road loads of trees an bushes so i snuck into someones garden i let loose missing my ankles/back of shoes by a matter of cms i then needed a wee so had to dance around wipping my shorts an kegs off avoiding my Poo before i had another bout of the squits at which time i could see some walkers thru the trees near my mate gav they didn't say ote to him but they must of seen me in a bright white top, cleaned myself up with one of my best pair of boxers, as i had my dog with me id tucked a load of Poo bags into my shorts picked my boxers up with one bag my turd with another put it in the nearest wheelie bin an finished my run home i found the whole experiance liberating
i suggest you try a diet of full stops and apostrophes. it might help with your verbal diarrhoea 😉
I'm a fairly regular wild poo'er 😳
Have built many a poo barn on walks, runs or cycles lol! I always try to take an Andrex on the go pack with me [img] 
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I recently was busting a gut at the top of Ben Nevis. It was fkn freezing too, lots of snow. On the way down, not too far from the top I had to stop, prob was my hands were too cold to undo me trousers! A mate saw me in distress and helped me pull em down 😳 I did the rest, but the fumbling of the wipes and general wiping of sh*t all over the place was pretty unpleasant! I ran the rest of the way to the YHA for a tidy up 😛
Also shat at top of Whites Level in Afan, sorry if you trod in it.
Running is murder! If I dont shat before a run, then I'm doomed! Fortunately my squash club is about 1/2 way through my regular run so I can stop off!
Remember some pretty epic long drops on the way up to Mont Blanc, small wooden outhouses perched over massive abysses, bog paper and stuff all stuck to the roof from the updraft..
Then there is the urban myth about a post curry caving trip and a "hot slurry" follow through in the wetsuit. Tales of it emerging around the collar and cuffs due to the writhing around in a cave....
Hadn't poo'd for five days due to medication.
Overwhelming urge to "carbo unload"
Lent against a fur tree
Dropped my Lycra
And heaved out a colossal poo, as large as my forearm, steaming in the cool winter air, gently hissing at first, and now leaning up against the tree.
A family to walkers were heading my way, so I cleaned up and cleared off.
They appeared to pause near my titanic poo.
I then stopped further on at the picnic bench, and the family walked past me, and the father said... "no Thomas you dont get bears in England"
But this is the best poo description ever....
always carry a bog roll in the bag - andrex do a nifty one without the tube which is quite small.
you know the top of innerleithen red climb - there is a sole tree also known as my personal toilet!
Very nearly this weekend on my Wales Coast to Coast. Was just outside Llanwrtyd Wells and was planning/contemplating it. Mercifully I found the public toilet there. The loo was a bit too 'Trainspotting' for my liking so perhaps I should have sampled a wild poo…
Urban, suburban, countryside, wild. I've lost count of my al fresco log-laying
not in recent years ,but in my youth i did a curly in the tenth(i think i was very very drunk) hole of temple newsham golf course in leeds,HOLE IN ONE 😈
😆
durty boy.
and the father said... "no Thomas you dont get bears in England"
LOL
Used to get drunk as teenagers on a golf course - the holes found themselves 'filled in' more than once...
Most recently had to go while walking the dog in the local woods this weeknd. No roll, so bracken used for wipe-up and wearing a bright orange t-shirt in sparse bushes didn't help the camouflage.
And most enjoyably, walking home from town after a few beers, going downhill proved to jog the goods too much and walking through lah-dee-dah territory Stockbridge I dropped em right behind someone's shiny new Audi and let loose. I really hoped at the time that Tarquin ran round the back of the car to get in the back seats in the morning.
Loads more stories of pooin' al fresco, its good shit.
I dropped em right behind someone's shiny new Audi and let loose. I really hoped at the time that Tarquin ran round the back of the car to get in the back seats in the morning.
WAC
Going Slightly off topic.....but when I was refitting my a bathroom (natch, only one bathroom in the house) I had to carefully plan the schedule of work to ensure I was without the wc for as short a time as possible, needless to say one Saturday morning I was caught short. So I lay a bin liner in the new wc (stored in the lounge) and layed one out while watching tv (rather appropriately Saturday morning kitchen). Superb stuff.
I shall refrain from sharing the most grim of my dumping tales and stick to these:
- lots in the wild, the worst of which was up Skiddaw with food poisoning
- in the downstairs bin (in the middle of the night and later that morning) as the result of a bug
- outside a mate's shed (at about 3am) because he and his missus had the audacity not to answer the door to me and a mate as we walked home from clubbing
I've done many outdoor poos.. but the [i]wild[/i]est poo was in a sweaty dark little nightclub under Edinburgh station in 1991(ish..)
I'd had a couple of dodgy E's, my bowels were opening very quickly, the toilet was like the one in the bookies on trainspotting.. and Moby was performing Go and other tracks on a tiny unlit stage in the corner of the club..
I had to wipe my bum with one of my favourite socks
I had to wipe my bum with one of my favourite socks
Can't beat a quality cotton sock...and it can be turned inside out for a second pass 😆
I cut a sock up into little handy squares when I ran of bog roll once.
........often! 😳
the last was DURING a mountainbike race..........when you gotta go you gotta go!
I've just remembered what happened to one of my mates on a school trip to the Lakes. He got caught/grassed doing a wild poo and one of the teachers made him gather it into a plastic bag and carry around inside his rucksack for the remainder of the day. This was the late 80s when we had some seriously hot summers - and on this occasion it was proper scorchio. Not nice.
This is the kind of thing that should be covered on The Cycle Show.
thekingisdead - MemberGoing Slightly off topic.....but when I was refitting my a bathroom (natch, only one bathroom in the house) I had to carefully plan the schedule of work to ensure I was without the wc for as short a time as possible, needless to say one Saturday morning I was caught short. So I lay a bin liner in the new wc (stored in the lounge) and layed one out while watching tv (rather appropriately Saturday morning kitchen). Superb stuff.
i worked at IKEA when i was 16. the bathroom area was closed off with plastic sheeting as the area was being revamped. upon the grand opening there was a massive 1,2 or 3 week old log at the bottom of the dry pan.
. I really hoped at the time that Tarquin ran round the back of the car to get in the back seats in the morning.
again when we were younger we used to go to some ****y nightclub in Epping. a friend of ours, Fingers (his fingers used to shake if you watched him whilst he rolled a joint), would always leave early and go around and piss on the door handles of the flashy motors in the caar park. we would then sit in the car and have a smoke whilst watching all the rude & wide boys opening their car doors.
Great thread - but I'm surprised nobody has protested that curling one down at a trail centre isn't really a "wild" poo.
I have often enjoyed the feeling of fresh air tickling my bumhole while crouching in the undergrowth - all part of the outdoors experience.
I've done a couple of 4x4 trips to Morocco..
Last time we went we wild camped in the desert, miles from anywhere.
My mate goes for the 'long walk' with the little spade and loo-roll. finds a nice spot out of view behind a coupel of bushes, at the moment he drops his pants and gets down to business, what can only be described as the Dakar Rally appears from out of nowhere and an endless stream of quad bikes and 4x4s go flying past him.
All he could do was squat there and wave to them as they roared past!
I haven't read the whole thread, but I bet I'm the only one who's had a wild poo whilst (unwittingly) in view of the Harry Potter steam train. And wearing a police hat.
Taking baby wipes into the woods is hardly a [i]wild[/i] dump.
It is the equivalent of glamping, and saying you are an explorer.
Real men wipe with a handful of foliage, mud or woodland creatures.
The TransWales was my intro into the 'alfresco' dump - when ya gota go...
freeagent, you have made my morning!
It is the equivalent of glamping, and saying you are an explorer.
Glooing? Glapping? Glitting?
Glooing? Glapping? Glitting?
From urban dictionary- [i]Glamping
Going camping, but with glamour. A combination of the two words. It's like regular camping , but with nicer things than usual, being warmer, and more comfortable. Glamping isn't done by usual outdoor types who climb mountains.[/i]
