What snacks can you chomp on until they’re coming out of your ears?

Why the separate thread, shouldn’t this be in Chub Club?

I go through phases, from chocolate to biscuits, but one thing is always on the sweet treat menu…
.
Jelly Babies
And I bought a box from morrisons last night, still sitting there tempting me.. I must resist, at least till tonight..
400g of fruit flavoured jelly goodness.

Poppadoms, usually eaten before the curry is made

Freshly made ring doughnuts with a light dusting of icing sugar.

Mini cheddars. Can’t have them in the house.

Cheese. I’m getting better at not eating tons in one sitting but once it’s out I’m a glutinous pig.

Freshly made ring doughnuts with a light dusting of icing sugar.

When I was a student in Sheffield many, many years ago, Woolies had a donut machine and I used to buy a big, greasy, sugary bag full and scoff the lot whilst warm. Vastly superior to these modern, glazed, overproduced imposters.

Cofresh lemon chilli potato curls

Guinness.

Jelly Babies. Got to be the originals though. Ah who am I kidding, any will do.

Also:

Co-op sea salt and Chardonnay vinegar crisps.

I live dangerously close to a Coop, those are just lethal. Best crisps ever.

Co-op sea salt and Chardonnay vinegar crisps.

They really are ridiculously good

Mini cheddars. Can’t have them in the house.

@ollie_the_brave – Have you tried these? They’re even more addictive than the originals

Co-op sea salt and Chardonnay vinegar crisps.

I live dangerously close to a Coop, those are just lethal. Best crisps ever.

You wouldn’t say that if you’d tried all of these:

Tyrells Crisps – Sea Salt and Vinegar
Ten Acre Crisps -Hickory BBQ
Ten Acre Crisps – The Story of When The Cheese Met The Onion
Pipers Crisps – Jalapeño & Dill
Walkers Crisps – Sensations Roast Chicken & Thyme
Burts Crisps – Firecracker Lobster
Tyrells Crisps – Naked
Walkers Crisps – Max Strong Hot Chicken Wings

As for the snack, he wanted it less than he did, but he still wanted it. Certain of those industrial compounds might stir his metabolism into wakefulness. It was his palate, rather than his stomach, that was looking forward to the acidic tang of the dust coating each brittle slice. He had shown decent restraint – the train had been moving for several minutes now – and there was no good reason to hold back.

He pulled himself up in his seat and leaned forward, elbows on the table, hands propping his chin for several reflective seconds, gaze fixed on the gaudy wrapper, silver, red and blue, with cartoon animals cavorting below a Union Jack. So childish of him, this infatuation, so weak, so harmful, a microcosm of all past errors and folly, of that impatient way he had of having to have what he wanted instantly. He took the bag in both hands and pulled its neck apart, discharging a clammy fragrance of frying fat and vinegar. It was an artful laboratory simulation of the corner fish and chip shop, an enactment of fond memories and desire and nationhood. That flag was a considered choice. He lifted clear a single crisp between forefinger and thumb, replaced the bag on the table, and sat back. He was a man to take his pleasures seriously. The trick was to set the fragment on the centre of the tongue and, after a moment’s spreading sensation, push the potato up hard to shatter against the roof of the mouth.

His theory was that the rigid irregular surface caused tiny abrasions in the soft flesh into which salt and chemical poured, creating a mild and distinctive pleasure-pain. Like a master of wine at a grand tasting, he had closed his eyes. When he opened them he was staring into the level grey-blue gaze of the man opposite. Feeling only slightly ashamed, Beard made a gesture of impatience and looked away. He knew how he must have appeared, a plump fool of a certain age communing intensely with a morsel of junk food. He had been behaving as though alone. So what? As long as he harmed or offended no one, that was his right. He no longer cared much what others thought of him.

There were few benefits in growing older, and this was one. In a simple assertion of selfhood, rather than to satisfy his contemptible needs, he put out his hand to take another crisp, and as he did so, met again the other man’s stare. It was narrow, hard, unblinking, expressive of little beyond a ferocious curiosity. It occurred to Beard that he might be sitting across from a psychopath. So be it. He could be a bit of one himself. The salty residue from the first round gave him the impression that he was bleeding from the gums. He slumped back in his seat, opened his mouth and repeated the experience, although this time he kept his eyes open. Inevitably, the second crisp was less piquant, less surprising, less penetrating than the first, and it was precisely this shortfall, this sensual disappointment, that prompted the need, familiar to drug addicts, to increase the dose. He would eat two crisps at once.

It was at this moment, as he glanced up, that he witnessed his fellow passenger sitting forward, gaze still eerily fixed, elbows on the table, perhaps in conscious parody. Then, letting one forearm drop, crane-like down onto the bag, the man stole a crisp, probably the largest in the packet, held it in front of his face for a second or two, then ate it, not with Beard’s fastidiousness, but with an insolent chewing motion, with lips parted so that he could glimpse it turning to paste on his tongue. The man did not even blink, his stare was so intense. And the act was so flagrant, so unorthodox, that even Beard, who was quite capable of unconventional thought – how else had he won the Nobel Prize? – could only sit in frozen shock and try, for dignity’s sake, by remaining expressionless, to betray no sign of emotion.

– Ian McEwan Solar

#inrecovery

Erratum: Tyrells Crisps – Sea Salt and Vinegar Sea Salt and Cider Vinegar

Tyrells Crisps – Sea Salt and Vinegar
Ten Acre Crisps -Hickory BBQ
Ten Acre Crisps – The Story of When The Cheese Met The Onion
Pipers Crisps – Jalapeño & Dill
Walkers Crisps – Sensations Roast Chicken & Thyme
Burts Crisps – Firecracker Lobster
Tyrells Crisps – Naked
Walkers Crisps – Max Strong Hot Chicken Wings

^^^ 8 suggestions but there’s only 7 days in the week – WWSTWD?

Also, a permanent link to the chub club thread might be a good idea.

Crisps?
**** weirdos.

Sea Salt and Chardonnnay?
Are they named after your kids or your overpriced lockdown dogs?

Jesus **** Christ in a shit powered sidecar, I thought this place couldn’t be full of more tedious, coffee fetishing, woodburning, Audi driving middle class wankery than it already is.

8 suggestions but there’s only 7 days in the week – WWSTWD?

Two bags of yr favourites on full fat Fridays?

Is a buttered crumpet a snack by the way?

How have Crosta & Mollica not been mentioned yet!? Bit too pretentious..? 🤣

These have only two states in our house; unopened and empty. Normally buy extra packs purely for the drive home from the supermarket..

Jesus **** Christ in a shit powered sidecar, I thought this place couldn’t be full of more tediously, woodburning, Audi driving middle class wankery than it already is

It’s a quid for a family bag of crisps, for a treat, from the Co-Op! Get a grip man.

Your comment did weirdly remind me of the bully-boys at school who used to laugh at my plain-bagged crisps, when their parents could afford Walkers!

You’re fighting over ‘the wrong crisps’? Hopefully your tongue was firmly in a (salt-encrusted) cheek 😉

You reckon? 😉

A:
Off all the wonderful things that could happen to a perfectly innocent spud, crisps are obviously the worst.
‘Mum, when I grow up I want to be a Pringle’.
Said no potato, ever.

B:

It’s a quid for a family bag of crisps, for a treat, from the Co-Op! Get a grip!

My point, I think.
It’s the **** Co-Op. Toad Lane. Socialism. Rochdale.
If I want effete, middle class toss I’ll go to Waitrose. But frankly, I’d rather starve.

Your comment weirdly reminds me of the bully boys at school who used to laugh at my plain-bagged crisps, when their parents could afford Walkers!

You voted Tory, didn’t you? 🙃

You voted Tory, didn’t you? 🙃

You’re being a silly person about crisps. And anyone knows that the worst (food) thing you can do to a potato is either Smash instant mash or Walkers French Fries

Irony is crisps are actually banned from my house for 12 months, on account of permachubclub membership. Though if I could dream-eat any potato crisps today they would probably be these:

Seems Walkers stopped making them so it’s not even real-world tempting. They were IMO a most understatedly excellent crisp.

What about corn snacks? Such as the near-mythical memory of Smiths Horror Bags ‘Fangs’? They were truly epic. Space Raiders are the closest I can find to those nowadays.

#mynameisp7eavenandImasnackaholic
#playsafely

Not healthy, damn. It sounds so good.

Influencer says she was on a 'tapas and cocaine' diet to stay thin — here's why that's not healthy https://t.co/mvQaLgPkzS pic.twitter.com/b7JtkTnuIP

— Yahoo Life (@yahoolife) January 10, 2019

I think they’ve been mentioned earlier but salted almonds or pistachios from Lidls so expensive loose I’d be better buying salt as that must be the taste I’m craving
I hate that 5 % of pistachios that refuse to come out of their Titanium shell risking breaking a tooth

Before we went veggie I could do a 6 pack of Lidl’s cheap sausage rolls in one go 😲 Also, it’s probably best not to leave me alone with a cup of tea and a packet of Aldi’s shortbread either…

Dry roasted peanuts.
Honey dry roasted peanuts.
Chilli dry roasted peanuts.

I once made myself quite ill with an overdose of dry roasted peanuts, family bag in a morning. “Never again!” swore I. Until the next time a bag presented itself to me.

Wasabi peas. But the more you eat, the more you need per mouthful to get the same hit until a beer reset. Umm, then obvs you go again, and again.

‘Mum, when I grow up I want to be a Pringle’.
Said no potato, ever.

Yeah but Pringles are not really potato crisps.

Honey roast cashews. The more the merrier.
Marzipan, 500g is a starter.

We rarely have either in the house.

Custard and rice pudding in cans or tetra-paks none are safe.

Sea Salt and Chardonnnay?

Are they named after your kids or your overpriced lockdown dogs?

Jesus **** Christ in a shit powered sidecar, I thought this place couldn’t be full of more tedious, coffee fetishing, woodburning, Audi driving middle class wankery than it already is.

I like nice crisps, but that is still hilarious and worthy of a repost!

Unfortunately, pretty much anything. Which means that although my fitness watch tells me I burn through and average of 4000 calories a day, I don’t lose weight

Twiglets.  All the twiglets.  Dipped in dairylea or other “cheese” paste.  I BLOODY LOVES ‘EM!

I once made myself quite ill with an overdose of dry roasted peanuts

There was long, echo-ey wooden settle in one of our local pubs, so we’d line up on the bench before blasting thru multiple packets of dry roast peanuts and pints to fuel gigantic synchronised fartathons. Four on a bench with gas lighters at the ready. It sounded (and no doubt appeared) like weird industrial warfare (or an odd firework display!)

It was otherwise a quiet pub. Wondered why… 🤦🏼‍♂️

25 pence a pack!

Not too gingery either so you can just keep on going until the pack / cupboard / shelf in the local Aldi store is empty.

Scampi Fries have a point at which your mouth is just too devastated to continue. It’s a damn fine feature otherwise I’d need to double my exercise.

For me it is Graze chilli and lime cashews, once you pop you can’ stop, my wife literally has to ration me…

Plus chunks of cheddar cheese with my homemade chilli jam, that combo of creamy, umami cheese with sweet heat of the chilli jam, makes my mouth water just opening the fridge to get cheese out!

What is this choosing a snack. ALL of them!

Jaffa cakes top of the list
But Crisps, cakes, biscuits, chocolate, nuts – I have no will power I’ll eat the bloosy lot right now.

@RustySpanner – you need a hug?

He doesn’t need a hug. Well, he might need one of those too.

What he needs is a great big bag of CO-OP Chardonnay and sea salt crisps. Possibly 3 packs. That’ll soon shut him up

I’m going to send you some round Pete. As with most things in life (the exceptions being really obvious): don’t knock it til you’ve tried it 😃

Choco pies – got a taste for these whilst on a cycling tour in Vietnam and still have a mad craving for them – – a bit like a wagonwheel, but sufficiently different to make seeking them out worthwhile.

🙂

I’m going to pick some up tomorrow!

And yes, I probably need a hug…..

Crisps. Any quality, and pretty much any flavour. I could live on crisps.

Liquorice too, but too much of that sends my heart rhythm all over the place so have to restrain myself…

Here you go Pete. Not just a hug, but a whole load of Sandi Toksvig hugs…

https://fb.watch/7S5onsjQfG/

😃

Cheers mate. 🙃