Fresh Goods Friday 241

Now is a morning for commiserating, or celebrating. And perhaps the angry eating of biscuits (see below). But in the meantime, make yourself feel better/even better by squinting below at some colourful bike swag!

It’s Fresh Goods Friday! Rammed with ALL your favourite jokes!

Met Parachute

Jamie’s ‘diamond’ Dave Lee Roth impression is so dangerous we have to make him wear a helmet to stop his head exploding. We’re not so bothered about him, but we don’t want Sarah and Richard to get hit by the shrapnel.

Here he sports a new Met Parachute in cyan and blue. It’s the lightest certified full-face in the world, apparently (that’s certified to American ASTM F1952-2032 standards, fact fans), and it’s got loads of vents, the requisite goggle-holder and a mounting thingy for your go-pro.

There’s also a ‘Homopathic Embedded Skeleton’ it seems. No, not Homeopathic; that would be silly. If seeing that pic has left you wanting more, here’s the real thing:

Price: £169.99

From: Met

Pearl Izumi MTB WRX Jacket

Chipps is trying to channel the funny looking bloke from Alien here, we think. The tall one with no eyes and a fondness for John Hurt. He’s chosen the MTB WRX jacket, with a handy hood. No-one has told him that the hood’s designed to fit a helmet underneath and still provide lots of coverage. Hang on; I’ll let him know:

That’s (a bit) better. I can talk a bit more about the jacket now. As well as that hood (which should fit over a trail helmet), it’s got helmet and pit vents, a full length internal draft flap; the sleeves are baggy enough to fit elbow pads, and naturally it’s waterproof and breathable.

Price: £129.99

Pearl Izumi Elevate Shorts

Four-way stretch and a water resistant treatment on these outers. Nice colour too. We were trying to get folks in the office to play ‘whose crotch’ but everyone got it instantly.  Which speaks volumes about its owner, don’t you think? Knee pad compatible, with a good long inseam too.

Price: £89.99

Pearl Izumi Big Air Jersey

Natty V-neck design, lots and lots (and lots) of mesh to keep you cool; sunglasses wipe. James (he of the Fabled Crotch) is very keen.

Price: £39.99

Pearl Izumi Divide Gloves

Mostly including this shot because of all the lovely colours on display – including James’ socks. But it does demonstrate the airy mesh back of the Divide gloves.

Touch screen compatible fingers, natch. And a perforated synthetic palm with silicone fingertips for grip.

Price: £19.99

All the Pearl Izumi swag is from: Madison

Nukeproof Warhead headset

GVM is back, back, back! He’s been taking ‘stock photo waiter’ lessons, and is here to display for you this lovely Nukeproof Warhead headset in deliciously discreet Noir. It’s got sealed angular contact bearings, CNCed bearing cups and a split alloy crown race.

Price: Top cup – £19.99; Bottom Cup – £22.49

From: Hotlines

Goodridge Avid X0 trail/guide pads – Sintered

These sintered pads offer “exceptional response, control and durability under extreme conditions”, apparently. Woop!

Price: £19.99

From: Hotlines

Vaude Exire Pro RC

Here are Vaude’s glorious blue shoes. Trimmed for maximum power transfer. Ratchet closure. Heel material made of that stuff that only lets your socks move one way – FORWARDS TO VICTORY!

YOU TOO can have victorious socks. Oh, and did we mention the colour?

Price: €150

From: Vaude

Stan’s ZTR Hugo 52 Rims

Wide monster 27.5+ rims with Bead Socket Technology, apparently. They’re supposed to be exceptionally light (which is borne out by the one member of staff who’s hefted more than one pair of fat 27.5 rims – she says they’re pretty floaty light considering). And the rim allegedly creates a superior seal (a sort of tubeless walrus then? Arf arf) for tubeless inflation.

We’ve also got some Stan’s Sealant, some rim tape and some valve stems to go with them. Fab.

Price: Rims £110 ea; Valves £7 ea; Rim Tape £15 for 10yds; Sealant £15 per pint.

From: Paligap

Bontrager SE5 tyres

Fresh from Sea Otter, and apparently named after London’s Camberwell region, here is the new ‘super enduro’ rubber from Keith and the team. It’s based on the G5 downhill tyre, but at a lighter weight. Dual compound, and tubeless ready. Can I say ‘braaap’ now? I can? Hooray! BRAAAAAAAAP

Price: $74.99 a pop

From: Trek

Howie Little Haven Rucksack

Ace little 10l backpack, complete with cover with reflective arrow for maximum driving-through-traffic safety. Bits and pieces for bladder and pockets for stowing your bits and bobs.

Price: £39.99

From: Howies

 

Specialized Enduro Gloves

Slightly padded back on the last three knuckles, vented mesh on the first finger and half of the back, synthetic palm and touchscreen compatible. No idea what Barney’s doing, but I’ll bet there’s a biscuit in the firing line.

Price: £40.00

 Specialized Grail Gloves

Mesh backed with a synthetic leather palm and a Body Geometry thing in the middle to make gripping the bars more comfortable and protect your ulnar nerve.

Price: £35.00

All from Specialized

Morvelo Short Sleeved Trail Riding Jerseys

These Short Sleeved tops from Morvelo are handmade in Europe with the finest fabrics (it says here). Relaxed fit, and they come in a variety of designs (well, four). Barney models Assault, which is disturbingly appropriate.

GVM forgets where he left his steam-powered perambulatory device keys in the confusingly-named Turtle.

Mark is the only man I know capable of angrily eating biscuits. Much like my old school mate Bosty, who is the only man alive who could drink a pork pie. Here he models the ‘Endless’ top.

And here’s Jamie, who channels the Eighties (or perhaps the early Nineties). Is he listening to grunge? Soundgarden? Or Toploader? Answers on a postcard.

All tops are priced £40

All available from Morvelo

That’s it from us for this week – while the weather holds, we’re going to run to the hills to see if we can find some muddy puddles to ride in between. In the meantime, please think carefully about the following advice (we believe it refers to the nation as a whole) and act upon it:

We thank you.

 

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